When Life Gets Way Too Heavy

A place to discuss casual topics amongst spiritual friends.
Post Reply
User avatar
christopher:::
Posts: 1327
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2009 12:56 am

When Life Gets Way Too Heavy

Post by christopher::: »

My wife just shared with me a story in today's news. A first year Japanese junior high student jumped off the top of a building this morning, commiting suicide. His teacher had been hitting him and shaming him publicly in front of the class, accusing him of things he had not done. His mother had talked with the teacher, but to no avail.

Before jumping he called his mother 10 times on her cell phone, leaving tearful messages. She had seen the ringing, but wasn't able to answer the phone because she was very busy, at work.

My wife and I both broke down in tears after hearing about this.
"As Buddhists, we should aim to develop relationships that are not predominated by grasping and clinging. Our relationships should be characterised by the brahmaviharas of metta (loving kindness), mudita (sympathetic joy), karuna (compassion), and upekkha (equanimity)."
~post by Ben, Jul 02, 2009
User avatar
genkaku
Posts: 416
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2009 11:14 pm
Location: Northampton, Mass. U.S.A.
Contact:

Re: When Life Gets Way Too Heavy

Post by genkaku »

A news story that caught my eye concerned a two-year-old girl who was beaten to death by her mother and step-father because she did not say "please" and "yes sir" as required. And while the mother was beating her daughter, the little girl held out her arms, saying, "I love you."

When there is nothing that can be done, it is probably better to do nothing.

But I cried.
User avatar
appicchato
Posts: 1602
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 12:47 am
Location: Bridge on the River Kwae

Re: When Life Gets Way Too Heavy

Post by appicchato »

It's tough to get a grip sometimes...that's for sure... :group:
User avatar
retrofuturist
Posts: 27860
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 9:52 pm
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Re: When Life Gets Way Too Heavy

Post by retrofuturist »

Greetings,

If you want to see something else tragic, this happened today... about 25km from where I live, about 5km from where I work.

Father accused of throwing girl, 4, off West Gate Bridge
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/st ... 01,00.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Metta,
Retro. :(
"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
User avatar
tiltbillings
Posts: 23046
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 9:25 am

Re: When Life Gets Way Too Heavy

Post by tiltbillings »

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/stor ... d=99838343" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
>> Do you see a man wise [enlightened/ariya] in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.<< -- Proverbs 26:12

This being is bound to samsara, kamma is his means for going beyond. -- SN I, 38.

“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” HPatDH p.723
User avatar
cooran
Posts: 8503
Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2009 11:32 pm
Location: Queensland, Australia

Re: When Life Gets Way Too Heavy

Post by cooran »

Hello all,

Dreadful things happen everyday, everywhere. Any ambulance officer, police officer, doctor, nurse or hospital social worker could relate numerous horror stories occuring in every town.

Isn't it because we have been taught and understand that "There is suffering. There is the origin of suffering. There is the cessation of suffering. There is the path out of suffering." that we are all Dhamma-farers?

metta
Chris
---The trouble is that you think you have time---
---Worry is the Interest, paid in advance, on a debt you may never owe---
---It's not what happens to you in life that is important ~ it's what you do with it ---
User avatar
Cittasanto
Posts: 6646
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:31 pm
Location: Ellan Vannin
Contact:

Re: When Life Gets Way Too Heavy

Post by Cittasanto »

Hi Chris & All
some terible stories, and I know one or two myself,
thank-you chris for pointing out the Four Noble Truths, it is always good to remember that we can not pick up more than we can carry at one time or that we have to pick up every trouble and concern we see!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Metta
Manapa
Chris wrote:Hello all,

Dreadful things happen everyday, everywhere. Any ambulance officer, police officer, doctor, nurse or hospital social worker could relate numerous horror stories occuring in every town.

Isn't it because we have been taught and understand that "There is suffering. There is the origin of suffering. There is the cessation of suffering. There is the path out of suffering." that we are all Dhamma-farers?

metta
Chris
Blog, Suttas, Aj Chah, Facebook.

He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.
John Stuart Mill
User avatar
genkaku
Posts: 416
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2009 11:14 pm
Location: Northampton, Mass. U.S.A.
Contact:

Re: When Life Gets Way Too Heavy

Post by genkaku »

One of the aspects that interests me:

The Four Noble Truths are a wonderful and accurate depiction of our lives, whether sad or happy. Since sadness or uncertainty are likely to gather more of our attention (who has the wherewithal to reflect on joy?), the delight in hearing The Four Noble Truths can be compelling.

But I think there is also a danger to be considered -- using The Four Noble Truths as a defense against the winds of sadness ... as a way of keeping sadness in check or at bay... as a means of pretending to have things under control ... a voice saying something like, "This cold and horrible thing has happened, but I'm kool: I've go The Four Noble Truths to keep me warm."

No criticism intended here. Just wanting to point out a poor application of some sensible observations.

After all, if you can't weep in a time of weeping, what's the use?
User avatar
christopher:::
Posts: 1327
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2009 12:56 am

Re: When Life Gets Way Too Heavy

Post by christopher::: »

genkaku wrote:One of the aspects that interests me:

The Four Noble Truths are a wonderful and accurate depiction of our lives, whether sad or happy. Since sadness or uncertainty are likely to gather more of our attention (who has the wherewithal to reflect on joy?), the delight in hearing The Four Noble Truths can be compelling.

But I think there is also a danger to be considered -- using The Four Noble Truths as a defense against the winds of sadness ... as a way of keeping sadness in check or at bay... as a means of pretending to have things under control ... a voice saying something like, "This cold and horrible thing has happened, but I'm kool: I've go The Four Noble Truths to keep me warm."

No criticism intended here. Just wanting to point out a poor application of some sensible observations.

After all, if you can't weep in a time of weeping, what's the use?
I agree, genkaku.

Though at the same time perhaps for many/most of us this is something we have to really practice to master? So that initially we are going to the dharma and the 4 noble truths for shelter against the outer storms. We learn to let go of rising thoughts and emotions, to not spin them further and attach to what arises. Over time we encounter a deep stillness and peace unlike anything we had experienced before.

With that skill and understanding as our anchor it becomes easier to face the world, to open your heart again to the madness, to weep at all the sorrow. Cause we know now how to not hold on to it, which we didnt understand before. We've come to understand how emptiness provides a shelter, from the world's raging storms, from inner turmoil.

Until we've come to understand and master this- how to let go of sorrow and return to stillness- those tides can pull you under.

:heart:
"As Buddhists, we should aim to develop relationships that are not predominated by grasping and clinging. Our relationships should be characterised by the brahmaviharas of metta (loving kindness), mudita (sympathetic joy), karuna (compassion), and upekkha (equanimity)."
~post by Ben, Jul 02, 2009
Post Reply