Why do we have resentment towards the people are very close to us?

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SarathW
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Re: Why do we have resentment towards the people are very close to us?

Post by SarathW »

Thank you Mr.Man it sounds good in theory.
In practice, we find people very difficult to handle.
For instance, you find very difficult people in this forum sometimes.
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Mr Man
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Re: Why do we have resentment towards the people are very close to us?

Post by Mr Man »

SarathW wrote:
Fri Aug 10, 2018 8:20 am
Thank you Mr.Man it sounds good in theory.
In practice, we find people very difficult to handle.
For instance, you find very difficult people in this forum sometimes.
If things are too overwhelming I think sometimes the best thing to do is take a step back.

Resentment is part of the human condition. It is there in our heart and then we allow it to latch onto an object (at hand). Being born is the root cause of resentment.

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Re: Why do we have resentment towards the people are very close to us?

Post by Spiny Norman »

Mr Man wrote:
Fri Aug 10, 2018 8:43 am
If things are too overwhelming I think sometimes the best thing to do is take a step back.
:thumbsup:
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SarathW
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Re: Why do we have resentment towards the people are very close to us?

Post by SarathW »

Being born is the root cause of resentment.
Good point. :anjali:
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”

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Alīno
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Re: Why do we have resentment towards the people are very close to us?

Post by Alīno »

Because our mind is the most attached to these peoples, there is a lot of expectations and dependence. More love there is, more ill will there can be.
Ajahn Nanadassano (before ordaining) : Venerable Ajahn, what is the bigest error that buddhist do in their practice?
Ajahn Jayasaro : They stop practicing ...

SarathW
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Re: Why do we have resentment towards the people are very close to us?

Post by SarathW »

Nwad wrote:
Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:56 am
Because our mind is the most attached to these peoples, there is a lot of expectations and dependence. More love there is, more ill will there can be.
Good point.
Can you give some examples?
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”

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Alīno
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Re: Why do we have resentment towards the people are very close to us?

Post by Alīno »

SarathW wrote:
Sat Nov 03, 2018 11:12 am
Good point.
Can you give some examples?
For exemple when someone have love and confidence in his partner, and then he see that this person is cheating on him. It bring a lot of suffering and anger, like if some one cut off a part of one's body. But if this person have no confidance in his partner and actualy dont realy love him/her, so the fact of chaeting will not have a big impact on him, and anger (suffering) will not apear, because there is no "contact" between mind and object, there is no "me, mine, myself", so there is no destruction of these "me, mine, myself" and no suffering.

It like if you put a lot of money on trading and then see all money burn...

More we give importance to some one, more this person can make us suffer.
Ajahn Nanadassano (before ordaining) : Venerable Ajahn, what is the bigest error that buddhist do in their practice?
Ajahn Jayasaro : They stop practicing ...

SarathW
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Re: Why do we have resentment towards the people are very close to us?

Post by SarathW »

Nwad wrote:
Sat Nov 03, 2018 6:06 pm
SarathW wrote:
Sat Nov 03, 2018 11:12 am
Good point.
Can you give some examples?
For exemple when someone have love and confidence in his partner, and then he see that this person is cheating on him. It bring a lot of suffering and anger, like if some one cut off a part of one's body. But if this person have no confidance in his partner and actualy dont realy love him/her, so the fact of chaeting will not have a big impact on him, and anger (suffering) will not apear, because there is no "contact" between mind and object, there is no "me, mine, myself", so there is no destruction of these "me, mine, myself" and no suffering.

It like if you put a lot of money on trading and then see all money burn...

More we give importance to some one, more this person can make us suffer.
This does not explain why we have anger towards people we do not love or no attachment.
For instance our neighbors.
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”

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Alīno
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Re: Why do we have resentment towards the people are very close to us?

Post by Alīno »

SarathW wrote:
Sat Nov 03, 2018 7:50 pm
This does not explain why we have anger towards people we do not love or no attachment.
For instance our neighbors.
Attachemet to our plans or expectations, perhaps?
I want to build new room im my house, but the law forbit it - i feel anger. I want listen to music at 3am, but neighbors call the police i feel anger.

The feeling of injustice is often cause of anger. But all is JUST in this world, kamma law make all just, so actualy there is no injustice, no reason to anger, all is just as it is. IMHO
Ajahn Nanadassano (before ordaining) : Venerable Ajahn, what is the bigest error that buddhist do in their practice?
Ajahn Jayasaro : They stop practicing ...

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