sexuality and the Vipassana meditation

On the cultivation of insight/wisdom
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williamson
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sexuality and the Vipassana meditation

Post by williamson » Sat Apr 30, 2016 8:11 pm

I m a new Vipassana student and i have 2 questions that came to my mind and i was not comfortable asking the teacher about and i was wondering if you can help me with:

1- I have done a 10 day Vipassana retreat by S. N. Goenka and i haven't engaged in masturbation.. but now after i m back.. thoughts of wanting to self pleasure arising and such.
Before the course i have been practicing Taoist sexual energy, sperm retention and multi-orgasmic to conserve sperm/the divine seed.
and I m wondering if there is times where masturbating is healthy and times where it is bad in terms of used as an escapism of an emotion, stress, boredom.. ? and does masturbating affect your awareness and focus and mindfulness or what?

2- Also, i was suggesting for a friend of mine to join the Vipassana retreat and such.. but he is gay and i was wondering if the teachings of the Buddha and S.N.Goenka have anything against the LGBT people?

Thank you very much :hug: and hope the question isn't a repetition.. if it is, please refer me to similar topics.

:heart:

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Ben
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Re: sexuality and the Vipassana meditation

Post by Ben » Sun May 01, 2016 1:34 am

There's a very long thread on masturbation, you might want to review it.
From a Buddhist/Dhammic point of view, masturbation s not conducive to the development of concentration and wisdom. For a lay person it is not strictly a breach of the third precept but it is an activity which generates craving and a particular behavioural response when there is arousal. Also keep in mind that unskilful ways of implementing sense restraint can be harmful.

As to your second question - all are welcome. Best if your friend applies for a course and take it from there.
Kind regards,
Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
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williamson
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Re: sexuality and the Vipassana meditation

Post by williamson » Sun May 01, 2016 11:22 am

Ben wrote:There's a very long thread on masturbation, you might want to review it.
From a Buddhist/Dhammic point of view, masturbation s not conducive to the development of concentration and wisdom. For a lay person it is not strictly a breach of the third precept but it is an activity which generates craving and a particular behavioural response when there is arousal. Also keep in mind that unskilful ways of implementing sense restraint can be harmful.

As to your second question - all are welcome. Best if your friend applies for a course and take it from there.
Kind regards,
Ben
Do you think there is a meditational masturbation or mindful masturbation... in a way a technique where someone can be mindful and aware while doing self love?
Also it may serve as a training for later on when someone goes into a relationship, so he won't use sex as an escapism or as a mean to an end, for pleasure only. is there such techniques ?

Thank you :hug:

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Dhamma_Basti
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Re: sexuality and the Vipassana meditation

Post by Dhamma_Basti » Sun May 01, 2016 3:06 pm

I can't speak for Ben but from what I know I have never heard of a technique in the Theravāda-domain that incooporates sexual activity other than celibacy. :) But correct me if I'm wrong. The early buddhists texts never mentioned a technique based on sexual activity to reach higher levels of consciussness and this is a great difference to the teaching of the 道/daoism, where such concepts as you have been practicing before have been known from very early times on.
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williamson
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Re: sexuality and the Vipassana meditation

Post by williamson » Sun May 01, 2016 4:29 pm

Dhamma_Basti wrote:I can't speak for Ben but from what I know I have never heard of a technique in the Theravāda-domain that incooporates sexual activity other than celibacy. :) But correct me if I'm wrong. The early buddhists texts never mentioned a technique based on sexual activity to reach higher levels of consciussness and this is a great difference to the teaching of the 道/daoism, where such concepts as you have been practicing before have been known from very early times on.
Yeah, you are right but i was wondering if someone stumbled upon a technique that allow the incorporation of awareness and mindfulness in Love making/sex or even masturbation.

In my opinion, becoming wise shouldn't be by cutting an activity off for example celibacy and no masturbation just because it creates craving. but by finding a way to put mindfulness and awareness in such practice (knowing that sex is an instinctive and essential for humanity) also if you don't masturbate you will have wet sexual dreams so the mind still have this act of letting the sperm out by inducing sexual thoughts same as you do with masturbation but adding mindfulness into it and make it healthy behavior would help to make it serve our conscious development and less of a pure instinctive reaction to sexual thoughts.

:heart: :hug:

R1111 = rightviewftw
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Re: sexuality and the Vipassana meditation

Post by R1111 = rightviewftw » Mon Jun 13, 2016 12:38 am

del
Last edited by R1111 = rightviewftw on Sat Jul 09, 2016 12:26 pm, edited 4 times in total.

Pinetree
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Re: sexuality and the Vipassana meditation

Post by Pinetree » Mon Jun 13, 2016 4:07 am

You don't need a special technique to do mindfulness of the daily activities.

Talking about mindfulness, you may find that the habit is related to other aspects of our life, such as our thoughts, maybe eating too much or sleeping too much, also choice of foods, and other areas of restraint, such as right speech.

mscherekar
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Re: sexuality and the Vipassana meditation

Post by mscherekar » Wed Nov 14, 2018 1:55 am

Actually Buddha taught new students to meditate on dirtyness of the body whenever a sexual desire arises. let it be for self sex homo or hetero. whenever a desire for sex arises go to you tube and type asubha meditation in search. you will find different videos depicting dirtyness of body. do this everytime the sexual desire arises unless u have a committed lifetime sexual partner with you. eventually also encourage your partner to learn this asubha meditation. so that both of you can follow natural celibacy after sometime.

mscherekar
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Re: sexuality and the Vipassana meditation

Post by mscherekar » Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:01 am

copying from a goenka site:
People of all sexual orientations and gender identities are welcome to our courses.

The campuses at all the meditation centers in this tradition are separated into male and female sides. This extends to the residential accommodations, the walking areas, the dining rooms and the meditation hall. This structure is designed to reduce the tension that derives from the mixing of genders.

We recognize this doesn’t work for everyone and that sometimes members of the LGBTQ community may not feel comfortable on either side of the campus, or having to identify as male or female. If conforming to binary gender separation is a concern for you, please let us know when you apply to the course so that we can try to arrange a space for you where you can feel safe and not distracted while you meditate. You can let us know about your concerns in the section of the application where we ask, “Anything you wish to add to the above information?” We will contact you and together we will try to make a plan that works for you. Your private information is kept confidential for the teacher of the course and for accommodation arrangements only.

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rightviewftw
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Re: sexuality and the Vipassana meditation

Post by rightviewftw » Thu Nov 15, 2018 6:45 am

mscherekar wrote:
Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:01 am
copying from a goenka site:
People of all sexual orientations and gender identities are welcome to our courses.

The campuses at all the meditation centers in this tradition are separated into male and female sides. This extends to the residential accommodations, the walking areas, the dining rooms and the meditation hall. This structure is designed to reduce the tension that derives from the mixing of genders.

We recognize this doesn’t work for everyone and that sometimes members of the LGBTQ community may not feel comfortable on either side of the campus, or having to identify as male or female. If conforming to binary gender separation is a concern for you, please let us know when you apply to the course so that we can try to arrange a space for you where you can feel safe and not distracted while you meditate. You can let us know about your concerns in the section of the application where we ask, “Anything you wish to add to the above information?” We will contact you and together we will try to make a plan that works for you. Your private information is kept confidential for the teacher of the course and for accommodation arrangements only.
Do you know if a masculine presenting pre op transgender lesbian can attend the all female course?

mnevis
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Re: sexuality and the Vipassana meditation

Post by mnevis » Thu Jun 20, 2019 6:36 am

Hi everyone this is my first post on this forum. This is a very interesting question. I don't know why so many religion try to avoid this question or try to repress people in this very primal force. So far repression seem to lead to disease so what trying to repress this primal force?

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phillyy
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Re: sexuality and the Vipassana meditation

Post by phillyy » Thu Jun 20, 2019 10:33 pm

An Arahant has eliminated all sexuality inside. This is what we should strive for.

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Sabbe_Dhamma_Anatta
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Re: sexuality and the Vipassana meditation

Post by Sabbe_Dhamma_Anatta » Sun Jun 23, 2019 6:05 am

phillyy wrote:
Thu Jun 20, 2019 10:33 pm
An Arahant has eliminated all sexuality inside. This is what we should strive for.
:goodpost:
There's nothing more to repress for an arahant; nor for non-returner, either, in this issue.
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  • "the one thing all the mistaken views have in common is the assump­tion that the self exists" ~ DN1
  • "It is an entirely and perfectly foolish idea" ~ MN22
  • The No-self doctrine is found only in the teaching of the Buddha.
  • No-self (anatta) means that there is no permanent, unchanging entity in anything animate or inanimate. ~ SN22.59

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Antaradhana
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Re: sexuality and the Vipassana meditation

Post by Antaradhana » Sun Jun 23, 2019 6:16 pm

mnevis wrote:
Thu Jun 20, 2019 6:36 am
So far repression seem to lead to disease so what trying to repress this primal force?
The practice of Dhamma leads to a clear understanding of the flaws and the danger of sensual desires. Gradually, through the skillful direction of attention, there is an understanding of flaws and danger, through understanding - disappointment comes, and through disappointment - letting go of thirst and attachment.
"Householder, suppose a dog, overcome by hunger and weakness, was waiting by a butcher’s shop. Then a skilled butcher or his apprentice would toss the dog a well hacked, clean hacked skeleton of meatless bones smeared with blood. What do you think, householder? Would that dog get rid of his hunger and weakness by gnawing such a well hacked, clean hacked skeleton of meatless bones smeared with blood?”

“No, venerable sir. Why is that? Because that was a skeleton of well hacked, clean hacked meatless bones smeared with blood. Eventually that dog would reap weariness and disappointment.”

“So too, householder, a noble disciple considers thus: ‘Sensual pleasures have been compared to a skeleton by the Blessed One; they provide much suffering and much despair, while the danger in them is great.’ Having seen this thus as it actually is with proper wisdom, he avoids the equanimity that is diversified, based on diversity, and develops the equanimity that is unified, based on unity, where clinging to the material things of the world utterly ceases without remainder.

“Householder, suppose a vulture, a heron, or a hawk seized a piece of meat and flew away, and then vultures, herons, and hawks pursued it and pecked and clawed it. What do you think, householder? If that vulture, heron, or hawk does not quickly let go of that piece of meat, wouldn’t it incur death or deadly suffering because of that?”

“Yes, venerable sir.”

“So too, householder, a noble disciple considers thus: ‘Sensual pleasures have been compared to a piece of meat by the Blessed One; they provide much suffering and much despair, while the danger in them is great.’ Having seen this thus as it actually is with proper wisdom…clinging to the material things of the world utterly ceases without remainder.

“Householder, suppose a man took a blazing grass torch and went against the wind. What do you think, householder? If that man does not quickly let go of that blazing grass torch, wouldn’t that blazing grass torch burn his hand or his arm or some other part of his body, so that he might incur death or deadly suffering because of that?”

“Yes, venerable sir.”

“So too, householder, a noble disciple considers thus: ‘Sensual pleasures have been compared to a grass torch by the Blessed One; they provide much suffering and much despair, while the danger in them is great.’ Having seen this thus as it actually is with proper wisdom…clinging to the material things of the world utterly ceases without remainder.

“Householder, suppose there were a charcoal pit deeper than a man’s height full of glowing coals without flame or smoke. Then a man came who wanted to live and not to die, who wanted pleasure and recoiled from pain, and two strong men seized him by both arms and dragged him towards that charcoal pit. What do you think, householder? Would that man twist his body this way and that?”

“Yes, venerable sir. Why is that? Because that man knows that if he falls into that charcoal pit, he will incur death or deadly suffering because of that.”

“So too, householder, a noble disciple considers thus: ‘Sensual pleasures have been compared to a charcoal pit by the Blessed One; they provide much suffering and much despair, while the danger in them is great.’ Having seen this thus as it actually is with proper wisdom…clinging to the material things of the world utterly ceases without remainder.

“Householder, suppose a man dreamt about lovely parks, lovely groves, lovely meadows, and lovely lakes, and on waking he saw nothing of it. So too, householder, a noble disciple considers thus: ‘Sensual pleasures have been compared to a dream by the Blessed One; they provide much suffering and much despair, while the danger in them is great.’ Having seen this thus as it actually is with proper wisdom…clinging to the material things of the world utterly ceases without remainder.

“Householder, suppose a man borrowed goods on loan —a fancy carriage and fine-jewelled earrings—and preceded and surrounded by those borrowed goods he went to the marketplace. Then people, seeing him, would say: ‘Sirs, that is a rich man! That is how the rich enjoy their wealth!’ Then the owners, whenever they saw him, would take back their things. What do you think, householder? Would that be enough for that man to become dejected?”

“Yes, venerable sir. Why is that? Because the owners took back their things.”

“So too, householder, a noble disciple considers thus: ‘Sensual pleasures have been compared to borrowed goods by the Blessed One; they provide much suffering and much despair, while the danger in them is great.’ Having seen this thus as it actually is with proper wisdom…clinging to material things of the world utterly ceases without remainder.

“Householder, suppose there were a dense grove not far from some village or town, within which there was a tree laden with fruit but none of its fruit had fallen to the ground. Then a man came needing fruit, seeking fruit, wandering in search of fruit, and he entered the grove and saw the tree laden with fruit. Thereupon he thought: ‘This tree is laden with fruit but none of its fruit has fallen to the ground. I know how to climb a tree, so let me climb this tree, eat as much fruit as I want, and fill my bag.’ And he did so. Then a second man came needing fruit, seeking fruit, wandering in search of fruit, and taking a sharp axe, he too entered the grove and saw that tree laden with fruit. Thereupon he thought: ‘This tree is laden with fruit but none of its fruit has fallen to the ground. I do not know how to climb a tree, so let me cut this tree down at its root, eat as much fruit as I want, and fill my bag.’ And he did so. What do you think, householder? If that first man who had climbed the tree doesn’t come down quickly, when the tree falls, wouldn’t he break his hand or his foot or some other part of his body, so that he might incur death or deadly suffering because of that?”

“Yes, venerable sir.”

“So too, householder, a noble disciple considers thus: ‘Sensual pleasures have been compared to fruits on a tree by the Blessed One; they provide much suffering and much despair, while the danger in them is great.’ Having seen this thus as it actually is with proper wisdom, he avoids the equanimity that is diversified, based on diversity, and develops the equanimity that is unified, based on unity, where clinging to the material things of the world utterly ceases without remainder".


MN 54 https://suttacentral.net/mn54/en/bodhi
All that is subject to arising is subject to termination, all formations are non-permanent. And that which is impermanent is suffering. Regarding what is impermanent and prone to suffering, one cannot say: "This is mine, I am this, this is my self".

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