my name was Ella i know call myself MAXUK the reason i have changed my name as i am Transgender / Gender queer For the last few years av had mental health problems like voices seeing things and OCD and depression i also have PTSD because of trauma in my past
i am a newish Buddhist even thought i have been here for a number of years i have gone from Buddhism -Christianity-Islam- Christianity-Hinduism- back to Buddhism during this time i lost my step dad to suicide my mum got cancer and lived through it but she has became bitter and i hardly see her in happier news i have became a great aunt/Uncle have had therapy i did see a therapist but because of NHS funding i am only allowed 6 blocks of treatment
i tried to follow meditation and understand Buddhism but am not very well educated i find things hard to understand i feel like am too stupid ( i also have poor self esteem too)to join in on discussions in these types of forums i hope its ok for me to re join
thank you all welcomes and for the video it was very good and helpful 
