Can't trust anybody.

A place to discuss casual topics amongst spiritual friends.
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pink_trike
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Re: Can't trust anybody.

Post by pink_trike »

Sleep with dogs, get fleas.
Get baked, get burned.
Sow ghetto, reap ghetto.
Cause and effect.
Are you having fun yet?
Vision is Mind
Mind is Empty
Emptiness is Clear Light
Clear Light is Union
Union is Great Bliss

- Dawa Gyaltsen

---

Disclaimer: I'm a non-religious practitioner of Theravada, Mahayana/Vajrayana, and Tibetan Bon Dzogchen mind-training.
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catmoon
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Re: Can't trust anybody.

Post by catmoon »

Ben wrote:
Individual wrote:It seems more prudent to try to enjoy life and not be overly concerned with discipline or morality.
Hence, the situation you now find yourself in, individual. And this observation is not negative or subjective, but is apparent to Manapa, myself and others here. Through your states of mind and actions, you are creating the situations you find yourself in.

Try practicing Dhamma, including maintaining all of the precepts, and you might actually find your life improve for the better.
Talking about Dhamma without practicing it - its like someone reciting or discussing a doctor's prescription without actually taking the medicine. Its meaningless.
And until you start taking the medicine of Dhamma - you won't get any better.

Ben

Agreed. There could hardly be a more clear-cut case of direct cause and effect.

It might be worth noting that your friend is following the same path, and because he is not overly concerned about morality, sees no problem in lying to you and swiping your weed and enjoying it. Look down the path you are on, and you will see your friend. Is that where you want to go?
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tiltbillings
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Re: Can't trust anybody.

Post by tiltbillings »

Oh, what a bunch of spoil-sports.
>> Do you see a man wise [enlightened/ariya] in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.<< -- Proverbs 26:12

This being is bound to samsara, kamma is his means for going beyond. -- SN I, 38.

“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” HPatDH p.723
Individual
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Re: Can't trust anybody.

Post by Individual »

Ben wrote:
Individual wrote:It seems more prudent to try to enjoy life and not be overly concerned with discipline or morality.
Hence, the situation you now find yourself in, individual. And this observation is not negative or subjective, but is apparent to Manapa, myself and others here. Through your states of mind and actions, you are creating the situations you find yourself in.

Try practicing Dhamma, including maintaining all of the precepts, and you might actually find your life improve for the better.
Avoiding killing bugs, abstaining from caffeinated soda, and from pornography, is not going to improve one's life by any measure.

I am improving my life in an appropriate way.
Ben wrote: Talking about Dhamma without practicing it - its like someone reciting or discussing a doctor's prescription without actually taking the medicine. Its meaningless.
And until you start taking the medicine of Dhamma - you won't get any better.
I agree, though I think we might disagree on the meaning of "dhamma".

In any case, tonight I have broken ties. I've explained this to my friends in the past as "hibernation" (I hope it catches on culturally!), a Buddhist might call it a "retreat"... where I will cut off all contact with everyone I know (which is only a few people presently) except my mom and my dog. The result is that I have a clearer perspective on things, on what matters to me most, and I am more self-confident and motivated. As I felt in the past, today I feel like a heavy burden has been lifted from me, like chains have been removed, a debt has been paid off, or I have been released from prison: Freedom, to do whatever I wish without unwanted outside criticism.

I have some videogames I'd like to finish first (and a new one coming out which I've already pre-ordered), but soon I'd like to get to work on the project of re-constructing my life which I wanted to work on in the past: A strict daily schedule of exercise and learning, and with a good diet and good hygiene. In only a couple of weeks, I have to register for college, for classes in the Spring, to get that Radiology Tech. degree... For now, that's my only real concern and I can't even imagine what I might do beyond that -- live happily ever after, maybe? I don't need anyone to be happy, except perhaps at least a dog.
The best things in life aren't things.

The Diamond Sutra
Individual
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Re: Can't trust anybody.

Post by Individual »

catmoon wrote:
Ben wrote:
Individual wrote:It seems more prudent to try to enjoy life and not be overly concerned with discipline or morality.
Hence, the situation you now find yourself in, individual. And this observation is not negative or subjective, but is apparent to Manapa, myself and others here. Through your states of mind and actions, you are creating the situations you find yourself in.

Try practicing Dhamma, including maintaining all of the precepts, and you might actually find your life improve for the better.
Talking about Dhamma without practicing it - its like someone reciting or discussing a doctor's prescription without actually taking the medicine. Its meaningless.
And until you start taking the medicine of Dhamma - you won't get any better.

Ben

Agreed. There could hardly be a more clear-cut case of direct cause and effect.

It might be worth noting that your friend is following the same path, and because he is not overly concerned about morality, sees no problem in lying to you and swiping your weed and enjoying it. Look down the path you are on, and you will see your friend. Is that where you want to go?
Who knows more about my life and my mind, you or me?

I know the path I've walked in my life and it's been marked by laziness and cowardice, which both supported eachother. At a young age, kids picked on me which made me sad, which made me unconcerned with schoolwork or personal hygiene, which made me even more of a target, which made me feel worse... I became an "adult" if you could call it that, but still remained laziness and afraid as ever.

If, when I was young, I was to stand up for myself, I would have never had to rebuild confidence in myself or lost dignity. If I ever stuck to those exercise plans and stayed in shape, and took care of myself, I would not have been a target. It's not been immorality that's been my problem at all and the notion that simply being a nice person will magically make you happy is a delusion. There are lots of nice people who are exploited all the time... A person has to be not simply kind and moral, but strong and wise to understand when force or violence or intimidation is necessary, not being swayed by either anger and pride, or pity and fear. I am not a person who needs a lesson in morality, because I am not a brute. If I ever become such a person -- like those who have harmed me -- then, that is something I should worry about, but not here and now.
The best things in life aren't things.

The Diamond Sutra
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Ben
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Re: Can't trust anybody.

Post by Ben »

Individual
Whenever it is that you get holidays from College - try a residential meditation retreat.
I can recommend one that doesn't cost you any money - unless you want to give a donation at the end of it.
It might actually change your perspective and your life.
Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global ReliefUNHCR

e: [email protected]..
Individual
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Re: Can't trust anybody.

Post by Individual »

Ben wrote:Individual
Whenever it is that you get holidays from College - try a residential meditation retreat.
I can recommend one that doesn't cost you any money - unless you want to give a donation at the end of it.
It might actually change your perspective and your life.
Ben
I am out of school for now and I would like to go on a Goenka retreat, but they are so far away, both in the time they occur and the location I would have to drive to. Would you know of anything closer?

It would likely change my perspective on things for the better.

I've considered camping out in the woods on my own with some water and sandwiches for a week, during the summer or spring.
The best things in life aren't things.

The Diamond Sutra
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Ben
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Re: Can't trust anybody.

Post by Ben »

I wouldn't recommend going out on your own in the bush.
It'll be much better to be in a structured environment. Not only will you get the benefit of instruction and be supported with accommodation, shelter and meals, but you also get the benefit of mutual support from the other co-retreatants and the assistant teachers and management.

From what I understand, you live in Maryland, right?
Your closest retreat centre (if you want to do a Goenka-style 10-day retreat) is:

Mid-Atlantic Vipassana Association: http://www.midatlantic.us.dhamma.org/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Shelburne Falls, Massachusetts: http://www.dhamma.org/en/schedules/schdhara.shtml" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Southeast Vipassana Center, Georgia: http://www.dhamma.org/en/schedules/schpatapa.shtml" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

My suggestion to you Individual is to book yourself on a course - regardless of where it is - and then do what you need to do to get the money to go - and just go.
I think nothing of travelling to 1,500km to Blackheath (several hours west of Sydney) or to Kaukapakapa, in New Zealand to attend a course/retreat. In fact, the vast majority of my co-retreatants on the long course I did two years ago in NZ were froom Europe, Asia and North America. And I'm not talking about people who have a lot of money. We just believe the experience is incredibly precious and will sacrifice other things in our lives for it.

Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global ReliefUNHCR

e: [email protected]..
Individual
Posts: 1970
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2009 2:19 am

Re: Can't trust anybody.

Post by Individual »

Ben wrote:I wouldn't recommend going out on your own in the bush.
It'll be much better to be in a structured environment. Not only will you get the benefit of instruction and be supported with accommodation, shelter and meals, but you also get the benefit of mutual support from the other co-retreatants and the assistant teachers and management.

From what I understand, you live in Maryland, right?
Your closest retreat centre (if you want to do a Goenka-style 10-day retreat) is:

Mid-Atlantic Vipassana Association: http://www.midatlantic.us.dhamma.org/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Shelburne Falls, Massachusetts: http://www.dhamma.org/en/schedules/schdhara.shtml" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Southeast Vipassana Center, Georgia: http://www.dhamma.org/en/schedules/schpatapa.shtml" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

My suggestion to you Individual is to book yourself on a course - regardless of where it is - and then do what you need to do to get the money to go - and just go.
I think nothing of travelling to 1,500km to Blackheath (several hours west of Sydney) or to Kaukapakapa, in New Zealand to attend a course/retreat. In fact, the vast majority of my co-retreatants on the long course I did two years ago in NZ were froom Europe, Asia and North America. And I'm not talking about people who have a lot of money. We just believe the experience is incredibly precious and will sacrifice other things in our lives for it.

Ben
All of those are too far away.

However, I'm not too far from Washington D.C. or Baltimore. A while ago, it was suggested that I ask some Baltimore Wat if I could just stay there... I never got around to it...
The best things in life aren't things.

The Diamond Sutra
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catmoon
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Re: Can't trust anybody.

Post by catmoon »

Individual wrote:
Who knows more about my life and my mind, you or me?
What an interesting question. Let's look at that.

First off, if you are talking about general knowledge and details, then of course you know more.

But, if you are talking about this specific situation and difficulty with your friend, the question is open.

Have you considered the possibility that we might be very alike, you and I?

Perhaps there once was a young man very much in your shoes. A young, audacious and intelligent fellow, perhaps a little worried about his laziness, not quite understanding where it came from. A fellow of some independence, disinclined to seek help with difficulties, keen to find his own solutions. And perhaps that young man, who for a moment stood in your shoes, went on to keep those iffy friends, in one case, and went to discard them in another, and to keep them in a third, and discard them again in a fourth, many times, as decades passed.

And when that young man grew old, having seen the results of both choices over and over, he might even have had the nerve to try and tell someone what he had learned. He might even have seen that it was a risky business, but worth the risk.
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Annapurna
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Re: Can't trust anybody.

Post by Annapurna »

Individual wrote: Negative self-judgments are not useful. It seems more prudent to try to enjoy life and not be overly concerned with discipline or morality.
Doesn't seem prudent for a Buddhist to crave pleasure, -in case you read my posts.
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Annapurna
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Re: Can't trust anybody.

Post by Annapurna »

Ben wrote:
Individual wrote:It seems more prudent to try to enjoy life and not be overly concerned with discipline or morality.
Hence, the situation you now find yourself in, individual. And this observation is not negative or subjective, but is apparent to Manapa, myself and others here. Through your states of mind and actions, you are creating the situations you find yourself in.

Try practicing Dhamma, including maintaining all of the precepts, and you might actually find your life improve for the better.
Talking about Dhamma without practicing it - its like someone reciting or discussing a doctor's prescription without actually taking the medicine. Its meaningless.
And until you start taking the medicine of Dhamma - you won't get any better.

Ben
:goodpost:
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Annapurna
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Re: Can't trust anybody.

Post by Annapurna »

Individual wrote:
Ben wrote:
Try practicing Dhamma, including maintaining all of the precepts, and you might actually find your life improve for the better.
Avoiding killing bugs, abstaining from caffeinated soda, and from pornography, is not going to improve one's life by any measure.

I am improving my life in an appropriate way.
What....?

Individual, do you truly see the luminous dhamma?

Are you seeking the path of least resistance and pleasure, or wisdom?

Do you use excuses, such as "too far", if given sound advice where you can find a free retreat?

There are agencies for arranged lifts, so do you search the web for those, instead of posting articles that can't improve you present dilemmas?

Do you order new games instead of paying off your debts first?

Do you complain about bad friends, instead of making a cut and becoming a better individual, that attracts better friends?

Do you pity yourself about how others wrong you, and maintain situations which allow them to abuse you? You are co-responsible.

Which benefit does all the attention you are getting here from others in your topics bring you if you don't follow their advice?

Will they continue to reply to you, if they realize that is a waste of time, just like a spoon will never taste the soup?

Is my compassion like the roar of a lion or a tender meow?

-A
PeterB
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Re: Can't trust anybody.

Post by PeterB »

Apparantly we might Individual, know more bout your mind than you do. :smile: Its called objectivity.

I have a question for you. You must have known the reaction you would get to your post. You were asking a group of Buddhists for sympathy because you had some illegal drugs stolen from you. So why did you post it ?
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Cittasanto
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Re: Can't trust anybody.

Post by Cittasanto »

Individual wrote:
Manapa wrote: what is better mindfulness or lack of mindfulness?
discipline or lack of discipline?
wholesomeness or lack of wholesomeness?
Negative self-judgments are not useful. It seems more prudent to try to enjoy life and not be overly concerned with discipline or morality.
who is talking about negative self judgements?
obviously your method isn't working oterwise his thread would not of been stated!
abit of background about me here before I run to visit my mum in hospial and jump on a flight!
Prison twice for violen crimes while under the influence of Alchohol and other drugs, rehab once, Mental hospital twice becase of a mood disorder which doesnt affect my day to day life (to any great degree anymore) due to my practice, which the doctors thought would not work for 6months without medcation.

it is more prudent to be disciplined and enjoy life than o tae the easy option
Man - I am ill doctor
Doctor - here is some medication
M -Thanks so h I'llread about thisstff on line
D - how will that help you
M - becaue I'll know he theory of what it does
D - but it is the use that will help you
M - SO YOU SAY.
Blog, Suttas, Aj Chah, Facebook.

He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.
John Stuart Mill
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