Hi Christopher,christopher::: wrote:Could you say more about that, adosa? I agree that much is subconscious... Which may explain why this takes so long, the unraveling of self, for most of us....adosa wrote:
Good points. Just for the record I don't mean to make it sound like I view mindfulness as easy. In fact it is one of the hardest practices I've ever attempted to master. My point was that I find myself, rather than simply being aware of ever changing phenomenon, subconsciously thinking I need to intellectualize every aspect. Like there has to be more to the process. I think its a subconscious control issue. The likes of which create more suffering.
I'm not much of an expert on mindfulness as I really tend to flounder around on this part of the path. Not that I tend to be "spacey" or day-dream but it seems like I try to over-analyze or out think myself if that makes sense. I tend to want to be in control of whatever task I undertake and I think it is this aspect of my nature that leads to wanting things to happen quickly. I want to understand the Dhamma and I want to understand it yesterday.
The following quote from your O.P. is what I am trying to describe.
It seems like in my experience I drift in and out of bare awareness. As soon as I seem to be in bare awareness I find myself usually in discursive thoughts. For example I can be pretty steady at mindfulness through the ear consciousness but it is usually mixed with an underlying desire to "get it". Then the analysis and discursive thoughts fill in. Then its back to bare awareness and so on and so on.In ordinary life, if mindfulness, or attention, is directed to any object, it is rarely sustained long enough for the purpose of careful and factual observation. Generally it is followed immediately by emotional reaction, discriminative thought, reflection, or purposeful action
It's very hard to describe but I hope this is making sense. I hope in some way it is useful.
Thanks for the topic as I see from your O.P. and from the follow-up comments that my experiences are common.