There is the concept of dedication of merit to the deceased, but it is debatable whether these are actually "received" by anyone, or whether it's simply a better, more productive way to respond to death than to wallow and grieve.
Strictly speaking, the deceased are not appropriate subjects of metta. I remember Ben speaking about this recently... and hopefully he can point us in the direction of an appropriate resource.
And finally, something for you...Snp 3.8 - Salla Sutta: The Arrow http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .irel.html
All the best.
"Do not force others, including children, by any means whatsoever, to adopt your views, whether by authority, threat, money, propaganda, or even education." - Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh
"The uprooting of identity is seen by the noble ones as pleasurable; but this contradicts what the whole world sees." (Snp 3.12)
“One to whom it might occur, ‘I’m a woman’ or ‘I’m a man’. Or ‘I’m anything at all’— Is fit for Mara to address.” (SN 5.2)