Hi Tilt and Justsit,
tiltbillings wrote:danieLion wrote:
I find what I'm doing here very humanizing and humanistic. I can't control other people's perceptions, and I'm not sure what you think I think "in my favor" is here (putting a "human face" on anything digital is rather difficult)? I'm not ignoring AA at all and the links I've recently provided here explicate well, and in humanizing and humanistic terms, how this particular (not "the) alternative works and what it has to offer.
Kindly,
dL
I am suggesting that you should have ignored AA. And, just for the record, what you do and how you do it, can have a lot to do with other people's perceptions. What you are coming across as lacking here, significantly, is empathy. Rather than links and links and links you might have done better to talk about what you are advocating in personal terms, with a very few considered links You have not done yourself any favors in this discussion. Nothing more I need to say here.
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Justsit wrote:
As Tilt suggested, perhaps you might have named your thread, "How SMART recovery works for me" or some such, and avoided the direct confrontational approach, as evidenced by the bolded area in your initial post( bold mine).
Language has such nuance, and it often doesn't translate on screen.
Tilt: I see what you're saying. I agree that my behavior can influence (but not control) the perceptions of others. Nonetheless, I'm not responsible for their perceptions. To think that, I'd have to assume the validity of the irrational belief that, as Albert Ellis (echoing the Buddha) put it, human misery is invariably caused and is forced on us by outside people and events instead of the rational belief that our disturbances are largely caused by the VIEW that we take of unfortunate conditions. I can also see what you mean by saying that my presentation indicates a lack of empathy and that this is at odds with
my goal, which
is to educate. Thank you for pointing that out. I do take exception with the idea that I
should have ignored AA because (1) I'd be musterbating (as Ellis would) say if I were to believe that and (2) it's hard to ignore what was once a big part of my life and still has a deep impact on me. However, I'll reflect on this, as I respect you immensely and value your judgment and wisdom.
I somewhat anticipated something like this misunderstanding of my behavior as de-humanizing and/or un-empathetic, so right after my initial post more than a week ago--long before the misperceptions and questionable accusations about my behavior and purposed arose--I started wrting a very personal and human account of my experiences leading up to and including my membership in AA titled, for now, "Faking It: My Story of Becoming a Born Again Christian in Alcoholics Anonymous." The problem is, there's nothing in it about Buddhism, so I don't know if it's even appropriate for Dhammawheel? Do you think it'd be okay to post a link to it's installments in this thread when they're ready? It goes to humanization, but not much to Buddhism.
I don't know when it'll be ready and I do not see myself having time for any more blogging or foruming for at least a week, maybe more. Perhaps the time away will give me some ideas?
Justsit:
Yes, perhaps that would've been better. It alos would've have been better if I'd not used the word "criticize."
My primary intention and main aim is to educate, to which confrontation, in retrospect, would better have served as a subsidiary role. I absolutely agree with you about language online. I still have a lot to work on in that regard. But I've got in trouble here for deleting stuff before, so I'll just leave it as it is.
Kindly,
dL