PsychedelicSunSet wrote:I have a question regarding the fourth precept, specifically white lies. Are white lies viewed as breaking the fourth precept? For instance, hypothetically say my friend writes a song he's very proud of, and he plays it for me and asks me what I think. Say this song is (in my opinion) truly horrendous. Would it be better to tell him that I enjoyed it, so as to not cause him sadness, or should I tell him that I really hated it, risking hurting his feelings.
my brainstormin on this:
- This question regularly comes up and the usual answers are: Yes, whitelies are lies. Ask any Buddhist teacher, they all tell the same.
- A lie does not become the truth because someones feeling are supposed to be "protected". It stays a lie.
- Fully thought through, no one has any benefit of not telling the truth.
- Best and most helpful friends to me
are those telling the truth. To grow spiritually, I need their honesty.
- I myself am responsible for how I do react to my feelings. If someone tells me an inconvenient truth - hey, it's up to me how to react to that. I may be a bit disappointed (because things ain't the way I want them to be), but, like all feelings, that's temporarily only. Next to that, how could I learn how unpleasant feelings work (and thus overcome them), if they wouldn't be there.
"An important term for meditative absorption is samadhi. We often translate that as concentration, but that can suggest a certain stiffness. Perhaps unification is a better rendition, as samadhi means to bring together. Deep samadhi isn't at all stiff. It's a process of letting go of other things and coming to a unified experience." - Bhikkhu Anālayo