Sorry I've been meaning to post for a while but have been busy as well as a little ill.
My advice, do not meditate! haha, take some time off.
Meditation its supposed to be a fun thing, what u are doing is having dislike (craving) to something, and u are pushing it trying to change that aversion into something else. And that will cause a lot of tightness until u finally say ok cant take it anymore and u will change your pattern.
If u take some time off u will begin to see how that pushing was causing tightness, and thats the actual meditation!, seeing how u went from a unwholesome state into a wholesome, and that will provide u with interest into how mind works and meditation in general.
Thanks for this, I was actually given this advice before by a Buddhist several years ago, my only trouble then is I end up forget everything about meditation, mental relaxation etc. and falling asleep every time.
Whats worse when I just try to relax thoughts fly in about meditation itself, or "trying to meditate", it's like a catch 22.
I distinctly remember after the original experience telling myself that I needed to find a place of mental rest and peace everyday, but I did not call it meditation. Ever since I've read some literature and "meditation" it's as if I've armed my mind against me, it's just like when I was a teenager trying to meditate but worse.
So the trouble now is I can't even try to find a place of mental rest and peace as meditation thoughts come flying in!