How do the masses understanding their feelings & emotions?

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retrofuturist
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How do the masses understanding their feelings & emotions?

Post by retrofuturist »

Greetings,

Is it normal that people do not take personal accountability for their own feelings and emotions?

I get the sense a lot of people think that these are just things that "happen" to them.

Metta,
Retro. :)
"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
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convivium
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Re: How do the masses understanding their feelings & emotion

Post by convivium »

what are some of the ways that you take personal accountability, or instances in which you would take accountability, for your experience of emotions and feelings? can you think of cases wherein you wouldn't or reasons why you shouldn't?
Just keep breathing in and out like this. Don't be interested in anything else. It doesn't matter even if someone is standing on their head with their ass in the air. Don't pay it any attention. Just stay with the in-breath and the out-breath. Concentrate your awareness on the breath. Just keep doing it. http://www.ajahnchah.org/book/Just_Do_It_1_2.php
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retrofuturist
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Re: How do the masses understanding their feelings & emotion

Post by retrofuturist »

Greetings,
convivium wrote:what are some of the ways that you take personal accountability, or instances in which you would take accountability, for your experience of emotions and feelings? can you think of cases wherein you wouldn't or reasons why you shouldn't?
It's as much about ownership as anything else. Some people seem like leaves in the wind, blown around by external circumstances and internal instability, and seem to just accept that this is how it is and how it shall be.

To me it's very natural that...
Dhammapada wrote:1. Mind precedes all mental states. Mind is their chief; they are all mind-wrought. If with an impure mind a person speaks or acts suffering follows him like the wheel that follows the foot of the ox.
2. Mind precedes all mental states. Mind is their chief; they are all mind-wrought. If with a pure mind a person speaks or acts happiness follows him like his never-departing shadow.
... but it seems like many people in society have an inverse view where "mind" plays no active role in shaping these things.

Metta,
Retro. :)
"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
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convivium
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Re: How do the masses understanding their feelings & emotion

Post by convivium »

do you want to restrict the scope of your question to taking responsibility for suffering or not suffering? to see that "mind precedes mental states" could be taken to mean you've seen dependent origination directly, and are at least a stream enterer (most people haven't seen this). what do you take this phrase to mean?
Just keep breathing in and out like this. Don't be interested in anything else. It doesn't matter even if someone is standing on their head with their ass in the air. Don't pay it any attention. Just stay with the in-breath and the out-breath. Concentrate your awareness on the breath. Just keep doing it. http://www.ajahnchah.org/book/Just_Do_It_1_2.php
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Re: How do the masses understanding their feelings & emotion

Post by danieLion »

retrofuturist wrote:Greetings,

Is it normal that people do not take personal accountability for their own feelings and emotions?

I get the sense a lot of people think that these are just things that "happen" to them.

Metta,
Retro. :)
Accroding to Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy it is the norm for people not to take personal accountability for their own feelings and emotions. REBT postulates that this is intimately related to Irrational Beliefs. Here's the top ten IBs Alber Ellis identified in A Guide To Rational Living (numbers are pages).
1) The idea that you must have love or approval from all the significant people in your life (101).

2) The idea that you absolutely must be thoroughly competent, adequate, and achieving or the idea that you must be competent or talented in some important area (115).

3)The idea that other people absolutely must not act obnoxiously and unfairly, and, that when they do, you should blame and damn them, and see them as bad, wicked, or rotten individuals (127).

4)The idea that you have to see things as being awful, terrible, and catastrophic when you are seriously frustrated or treated unfairly (139).

5)The idea that you must be miserable when you have pressures and difficult experiences; and that you have little ability to control, and cannot change, your disturbed feelings (155).

6)The idea that if something is dangerous or fearsome, you must obsess about it and frantically try to escape from it (163).

7) The idea that you can easily avoid facing many difficulties and self-responsibilities and still lead a highly fulfilling existence (177).

8) The idea that your past remains all-important and because something once strongly influenced your life, it has to keep determining your feelings and behavior today (187).

9) The idea that people and things absolutely must be better than they are and that it is awful and horrible if you cannot change life’s grim facts to suit you (197).

10) The idea that you can achieve maximum happiness by inertia and inaction or by passively and uncommittedly enjoying yourself (207).
danieLion
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Re: How do the masses understanding their feelings & emotion

Post by danieLion »

retrofuturist wrote:
To me it's very natural that...
Dhammapada wrote:1. Mind precedes all mental states. Mind is their chief; they are all mind-wrought. If with an impure mind a person speaks or acts suffering follows him like the wheel that follows the foot of the ox.
2. Mind precedes all mental states. Mind is their chief; they are all mind-wrought. If with a pure mind a person speaks or acts happiness follows him like his never-departing shadow.
Indeed.
And:
[url=http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an04/an04.049.olen.html]AN 4.49[/url]: Vipallasa Sutta: Distortions of the Mind wrote:These four, O Monks, are distortions of perception, distortions of thought distortions of view...

Sensing no change in the changing,
Sensing pleasure in suffering,
Assuming "self" where there's no self,
Sensing the un-lovely as lovely —

Gone astray with wrong views, beings
Mis-perceive with distorted minds.

Bound in the bondage of Mara,
Those people are far from safety.
They're beings that go on flowing:
Going again from death to birth.

But when in the world of darkness
Buddhas arise to make things bright,
They present this profound teaching
Which brings suffering to an end.

When those with wisdom have heard this,
They recuperate their right mind:

They see change in what is changing,
Suffering where there's suffering,
"Non-self" in what is without self,
They see the un-lovely as such.

By this acceptance of right view,
They overcome all suffering.
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Re: How do the masses understanding their feelings & emotion

Post by danieLion »

retrofuturist wrote:...it seems like many people in society have an inverse view where "mind" plays no active role in shaping these things.
Word:
AN 1.48

I don't envision a single thing that is as quick to reverse itself as the mind — so much so that there is no feasible simile for how quick to reverse itself it is.
And:
AN 1.31-40

31. "Monks, I know not of any other single thing so intractable as the untamed mind. The untamed mind is indeed a thing untractable.

32. "Monks, I know not of any other thing so tractable as the tamed mind. The tamed mind is indeed a thing tractable.

33. "Monks, I know not of any other single thing so conducive to great loss as the untamed mind. The untamed mind indeed conduces to great loss.

34. "Monks, I know not of any other single thing so conducive to great profit as the tamed mind. The tamed mind indeed conduces to great profit.

39. "Monks, I know not of any other single thing that brings such woe as the mind that is untamed, uncontrolled, unguarded and unrestrained. Such a mind indeed brings great woe.

40. "Monks, I know not of any other single thing that brings such bliss as the mind that is tamed, controlled, guarded and restrained. Such a mind indeed brings great bliss."
And:
AN 1.21-1.40

21. "I don't envision a single thing that, when undeveloped, is as unpliant as the mind. The mind, when undeveloped, is unpliant."

22. "I don't envision a single thing that, when developed, is as pliant as the mind. The mind, when developed, is pliant."

23. "I don't envision a single thing that, when undeveloped, leads to such great harm as the mind. The mind, when undeveloped leads to great harm."

24. "I don't envision a single thing that, when developed, leads to such great benefit as the mind. The mind, when developed leads to great benefit."

25. "I don't envision a single thing that, when undeveloped & unapparent, leads to such great harm as the mind. The mind, when undeveloped & unapparent leads to great harm."

26. "I don't envision a single thing that, when developed & apparent, leads to such great benefit as the mind. The mind, when developed & apparent, leads to great benefit."

27. "I don't envision a single thing that, when undeveloped & uncultivated, leads to such great harm as the mind. The mind, when undeveloped & uncultivated leads to great harm."

28. "I don't envision a single thing that, when developed & cultivated, leads to such great benefit as the mind. The mind, when developed & cultivated, leads to great benefit."

29. "I don't envision a single thing that, when undeveloped & uncultivated, brings about such suffering & stress as the mind. The mind, when undeveloped & uncultivated, brings about suffering & stress."

30. "I don't envision a single thing that, when developed & cultivated, brings about such happiness as the mind. The mind, when developed & cultivated, brings about happiness."

31. "I don't envision a single thing that, when untamed, leads to such great harm as the mind. The mind, when untamed leads to great harm."

32. "I don't envision a single thing that, when tamed, leads to such great benefit as the mind. The mind, when tamed leads to great benefit."

33. "I don't envision a single thing that, when unguarded, leads to such great harm as the mind. The mind, when unguarded leads to great harm."

34. "I don't envision a single thing that, when guarded, leads to such great benefit as the mind. The mind, when guarded leads to great benefit."

35. "I don't envision a single thing that, when unprotected, leads to such great harm as the mind. The mind, when unprotected leads to great harm."

36. "I don't envision a single thing that, when protected, leads to such great benefit as the mind. The mind, when protected leads to great benefit."

37. "I don't envision a single thing that, when unrestrained, leads to such great harm as the mind. The mind, when unrestrained leads to great harm."

38. "I don't envision a single thing that, when restrained, leads to such great benefit as the mind. The mind, when restrained leads to great benefit."

39. "I don't envision a single thing that — when untamed, unguarded, unprotected, unrestrained — leads to such great harm as the mind. The mind — when untamed, unguarded, unprotected, unrestrained — leads to great harm."

40. "I don't envision a single thing that — when tamed, guarded, protected, restrained — leads to such great benefit as the mind. The mind — when tamed, guarded, protected, restrained — leads to great benefit."
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SDC
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Re: How do the masses understanding their feelings & emotion

Post by SDC »

I do not think it is a matter of people not taking accountability as much as it is that people don't think they have the ability to adjust themselves, and as a result they just weather the storm when it comes.
“Life is swept along, short is the life span; no shelters exist for one who has reached old age. Seeing clearly this danger in death, a seeker of peace should drop the world’s bait.” SN 1.3
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Re: How do the masses understanding their feelings & emotion

Post by m0rl0ck »

Its so nice to be spiritually advanced, isnt it?
“The truth knocks on the door and you say, "Go away, I'm looking for the truth," and so it goes away. Puzzling.” ― Robert M. Pirsig
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Re: How do the masses understanding their feelings & emotion

Post by retrofuturist »

Greetings m0rl0ck,
m0rl0ck wrote:Its so nice to be spiritually advanced, isnt it?
Your "tone" (as much as such things can be discerned by text) suggests that there's smugness or mocking afoot on my part, but that's definitely not the case.

It's genuine bafflement that so many people can be this way, and genuine bafflement on their part that I'm not like that. It's a rather isolating divide when trying to establish meaningful connections with people.

Metta,
Retro. :)
"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
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Re: How do the masses understanding their feelings & emotion

Post by m0rl0ck »

retrofuturist wrote:Greetings m0rl0ck,
m0rl0ck wrote:Its so nice to be spiritually advanced, isnt it?
Your "tone" (as much as such things can be discerned by text) suggests that there's smugness or mocking afoot on my part, but that's definitely not the case.

It's genuine bafflement that so many people can be this way, and genuine bafflement on their part that I'm not like that. It's a rather isolating divide when trying to establish meaningful connections with people.

Metta,
Retro. :)
Yeah, you got me. I was being sarcastic. I sort of know what you mean tho, i can be reactive on occasion, but im less driven than i used to be. Different people are just differently reactive to different things, i dont think you can really generalize as in "masses".
“The truth knocks on the door and you say, "Go away, I'm looking for the truth," and so it goes away. Puzzling.” ― Robert M. Pirsig
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Re: How do the masses understanding their feelings & emotion

Post by DNS »

retrofuturist wrote: Is it normal that people do not take personal accountability for their own feelings and emotions?
It's Barney's (the dinosaur) fault. :tongue:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barney_%26 ... #Criticism

I only slightly mean that as tongue-in-cheek. Everyone was told that they are special. No, no one is special; you have to earn it.

If anything goes wrong, it is someone else's fault in the entitlement world. If you order a hot coffee and spill it on your lap, all of a sudden it is the restaurant's fault. If you are angry all the time, it is because everyone is making you mad, everyone is jerking you around, i.e., it is their fault. There seems to be less personal responsibility for just about everything.
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Re: How do the masses understanding their feelings & emotion

Post by retrofuturist »

Greetings,
m0rl0ck wrote:i dont think you can really generalize as in "masses".
Yeah, I'm just after a broad perspective... people's experiences and perceptions in this space. Whatever people come back with is fine by me.

I have Aspergers which can make it difficult to discern the thought-processes of neurotypicals and how they see the world and engage with it.
David wrote:If anything goes wrong, it is someone else's fault in the entitlement world. If you order a hot coffee and spill it on your lap, all of a sudden it is the restaurant's fault. If you are angry all the time, it is because everyone is making you mad, everyone is jerking you around, i.e., it is their fault. There seems to be less personal responsibility for just about everything.
Yes, and presumably it's even worse in the U.S. where the culture is more litigious.

Metta,
Retro. :)
"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
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m0rl0ck
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Re: How do the masses understanding their feelings & emotion

Post by m0rl0ck »

retrofuturist wrote:
I have Aspergers which can make it difficult to discern the thought-processes of neurotypicals and how they see the world and engage with it.

Metta,
Retro. :)
I score pretty high on that scale too and am sometimes flummoxed at the things people do :)
“The truth knocks on the door and you say, "Go away, I'm looking for the truth," and so it goes away. Puzzling.” ― Robert M. Pirsig
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Re: How do the masses understanding their feelings & emotion

Post by Nyorai »

never seem to me there is any emotion or feeling in them. life is so much lovely :alien:
ImageTo become vegetarian is to step into the stream which leads to nirvana.
If you light a lamp for somebody, it will also brighten your path. He who experiences the unity of life sees his own Self in all beings, and all beings in his own Self.Image
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