BubbaBuddhist wrote:I've followed this thread with interest, as I do quite a lot of them. I was particularly interested at the notion that sexual interest/performance drops off with age. My father, at age 65, was living with a 30 year old woman and from what I understand their intimate life was both vigorous and frequent. I'm 52, almost 53 and if there's a willing female handy, I'm more capable now than when I was 30. But the biological clock of the males in my family runs slow; according to my doctor I have a physiological age of 37, and I take very good care of myself. I also really enjoy sex and don't see it as harmful, an object of aversion, or a distraction from anything. Nor do I obsess about it one way or the other. It's one of many things I do that I enjoy, like playing the piano, savoring a cup of strong coffee, reading a good book, playing with my cat, watching a great opera. If sex is a hindrance than so are all of these others. I might as well strip the branches of all the leaves and live a bleak existence.
This one thing however, involves another human being so it involves being compassionate, considerate and empathetic. In other words, making a human-to-human connection, which may be what I missed in this discussion. Most of the conversation in this thread has been about the sexual act, not about what it means when two people come together for the purpose of sexual intercourse.
In my opinion it isn't just about procreation or the release of tension. If it isn't fun, affectionate and friendly it ain't worth the trouble. Even dogs can copulate. In the biggest sense of the word, it's very cold outside, and making love is one way to build a cozy fire against the chill and proclaim "Hey--I'm alive, and isn't it grand?"
Unabashed Libertine since the 1970s
My sense is that without a healthy attitude like this, sex cannot be truly transcended. Instead what one would be trying to transcend is all sorts of projections, aversions and fears, never knowing what a healthy sexual relationship is in the first place. An exercise in chasing away ghosts which ultimately futile and will leave the root of sensuality untouched and possible muddied by all sorts of negativity.
And whether at some point your attitude will change or not is just a matter for your practice. Sex, like anything else, should be seen with clarity for what it is. I guess as practice deepens, so does this seeing and this is where a change can take place. Rather than preconceived notions.