Employers can fire workers they find too sexy

A place to discuss casual topics amongst spiritual friends.
User avatar
Annapurna
Posts: 2639
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:04 pm
Location: Germany
Contact:

Re: Employers can fire workers they find too sexy

Post by Annapurna »

I think that a marriage/partnership is something serious and something that others should respect. It's also something the Buddha taught, that we keep suffering from our loved one. Jealousy is the fear to lose yoir loved one and a horrible feeling.

If we love somebody, we should have compassion and try to spare him or her this type of suffering. This fear may not be justified!

But it's very real for our loved one, and IF we truly care about the other one's well being and want to reduce his or her suffering, we do all we can.

It's nit that hard to do something for a loved one.

It's hard to do something that hurts him or her.

That's what love is about:

First you, then me.
User avatar
Cittasanto
Posts: 6646
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:31 pm
Location: Ellan Vannin
Contact:

Re: Employers can fire workers they find too sexy

Post by Cittasanto »

poto wrote:Am I the only one just who had a 90's flashback?

I'm too sexy for my job, too sexy for my job...



Great... now that song is gonna be stuck in my had all day. :tongue:
no and I always laugh at 1:40
but I was thinking of a completely different song
Blog, Suttas, Aj Chah, Facebook.

He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.
John Stuart Mill
User avatar
Modus.Ponens
Posts: 3853
Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:38 am
Location: Gallifrey

Re: Employers can fire workers they find too sexy

Post by Modus.Ponens »

Thank god we still have our constitution in Portugal. In it it says that nobody can be fired without a serious justification. This example of firing somebody because the wife is jealus borders the bananas republics' way of doing things. :soap:
'This is peace, this is exquisite — the resolution of all fabrications; the relinquishment of all acquisitions; the ending of craving; dispassion; cessation; Unbinding.' - Jhana Sutta
User avatar
Ben
Posts: 18438
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 12:49 am
Location: kanamaluka

Re: Employers can fire workers they find too sexy

Post by Ben »

Dan74 wrote:I guess she could've worn a burkha from the start, so it was all clearly her fault for being attractive.
Indeed, Dan. Our lustful thoughts, or those of our spouse, is ALWAYS the responsibility of the person they are attracted to.
And to think we've been deluding ourselves thinking that we're responsible for our own craving, aversion and ignorance!
I got it now, its someone else's fault!
kind regards,

Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global ReliefUNHCR

e: [email protected]..
User avatar
Annapurna
Posts: 2639
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:04 pm
Location: Germany
Contact:

Re: Employers can fire workers they find too sexy

Post by Annapurna »

I must say I find the remark about "banana republic" pretty offensive.

Are we not talking about a private problem here, between a married couple?

And is a marriage really worth less to you than a job?

Isn't a new job much easier found than a new beloved, -and what's up with their children, if they are raising a family?

Should we not feel compassion for the woman, who found out, that her husband is around a temptation all day long, distracting him from his job, with a high responsibility for other people's well being?

Would you want to pay your hard-earned money for dental treatments & oral surgery to a man, who is distracted by a cleavage and not able to do his best for you?

Wouldn't you be outraged and desperate if he absentmindedly caused you life-long suffering, due to medical malpractice?

It's happened before...!!

And if you gentlemen could be so kind and clarify something that puzzles me:

I have the feeling you trivialize and mock the "jealousy" of the woman, her fear of loss. Is that so?

If yes, why?

Thank you.
User avatar
tiltbillings
Posts: 23046
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 9:25 am

Re: Employers can fire workers they find too sexy

Post by tiltbillings »

Annapurna wrote:I
Would you want to pay your hard-earned money for dental treatments & oral surgery to a man, who is distracted by a cleavage and not able to do his best for you?
That is why I go to a female dentist; her cleavage gives me something to think about during my root canals.
>> Do you see a man wise [enlightened/ariya] in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.<< -- Proverbs 26:12

This being is bound to samsara, kamma is his means for going beyond. -- SN I, 38.

“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” HPatDH p.723
User avatar
Alobha
Posts: 565
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 8:27 pm
Location: Germany

Re: Employers can fire workers they find too sexy

Post by Alobha »

Annapurna wrote: Would you want to pay your hard-earned money for dental treatments & oral surgery to a man, who is distracted by a cleavage and not able to do his best for you?
You're assuming that he might do bad work because he is distracted. Maybe he enjoys working with pretty women so much that he is working in a happier and more concentrated state of mind because he likes so much to be at work? Nobody knows.
I have the feeling you trivialize and mock the "jealousy" of the woman, her fear of loss. Is that so?
While I find the jealousy of the woman understandable, it is horrible that this is the cause for a person to get fired and possibly face poverty and hunger. Does the wife want to forbid her husband from speaking and looking at any other woman? jealousy issues are not dealt by this way and not by controlling one's partner but by changing the inner attitude and putting trust in the partner and the relationship. Where was the compassion of the wife for the female worker when she seemed to press the husband to fire the woman? There wasn't any. Just jealousy and ill-will. The wife could've also tried to befriend the female worker to make sure that she isn't a threat etc. But sending her on the threat and not caring at all seemed easier I guess. One just can't help but make fun of this ridiculous behaviour.
User avatar
Aloka
Posts: 7797
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2009 2:51 pm

Re: Employers can fire workers they find too sexy

Post by Aloka »

tiltbillings wrote:
Annapurna wrote:I
Would you want to pay your hard-earned money for dental treatments & oral surgery to a man, who is distracted by a cleavage and not able to do his best for you?
That is why I go to a female dentist; her cleavage gives me something to think about during my root canals.

:clap:
User avatar
Annapurna
Posts: 2639
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:04 pm
Location: Germany
Contact:

Re: Employers can fire workers they find too sexy

Post by Annapurna »

Alobha wrote:
Annapurna wrote: Would you want to pay your hard-earned money for dental treatments & oral surgery to a man, who is distracted by a cleavage and not able to do his best for you?
You're assuming that he might do bad work because he is distracted. Maybe he enjoys working with pretty women so much that he is working in a happier and more concentrated state of mind because he likes so much to be at work? Nobody knows.
I have the feeling you trivialize and mock the "jealousy" of the woman, her fear of loss. Is that so?
While I find the jealousy of the woman understandable, it is horrible that this is the cause for a person to get fired and possibly face poverty and hunger. Does the wife want to forbid her husband from speaking and looking at any other woman? jealousy issues are not dealt by this way and not by controlling one's partner but by changing the inner attitude and putting trust in the partner and the relationship. Where was the compassion of the wife for the female worker when she seemed to press the husband to fire the woman? There wasn't any. Just jealousy and ill-will. The wife could've also tried to befriend the female worker to make sure that she isn't a threat etc. But sending her on the threat and not caring at all seemed easier I guess. One just can't help but make fun of this ridiculous behaviour.
You're assuming that he might do bad work because he is distracted. Maybe he enjoys working with pretty women so much that he is working in a happier and more concentrated state of mind because he likes so much to be at work? Nobody knows.
No, I am not assuming, I have clicked the link and read the whole article, -have you?

In this link you could have read:
At trial, Knight testified he had complained to Nelson on several occasions that her clothing was too tight, revealing and “distracting.”
So he did not enjoy it, he complained several times and she wouldn't oblige.
I wouldn't have been so patient with her. She'd gotten a written warning from me, after which you can fire an employee here, who doesn't perform as requested.
While I find the jealousy of the woman understandable, it is horrible that this is the cause for a person to get fired and possibly face poverty and hunger.
Well, it's not like she had not been warned!

Should have obliged! Wouldn't have had to cry later!

And isn't she entitled to unemployment money...?
And if she so attractive, Im am sure another doctor will be happy to employ her.

The wife has probably a harder time to find peace of mind with the bomb-shell around, or perhaps finding a new husband...a new father for the kids....
Does the wife want to forbid her husband from speaking and looking at any other woman?
I don't know, perhaps she is a nice and decent lady who is just realist enough to see a danger for her marriage when there is one!
jealousy issues are not dealt by this way and not by controlling one's partner but by changing the inner attitude and putting trust in the partner and the relationship.
True, I totally agree! However, trust is as fragile as glass....

And here, trust, has already been broken, when he stepped over the line:
he also began exchanging text messages with Nelson. Most of these were work-related and harmless, according to testimony. But others were more suggestive, including one in which Knight asked Nelson how often she had an orgasm. She never answered the text.
His wife found the messages. .

I can imagine that she was devastated. And NO PROMISE IN THE WORLD can remove her worries as well as the tempation being removed!
Where was the compassion of the wife for the female worker when she seemed to press the husband to fire the woman? There wasn't any. Just jealousy and ill-will.
Why is it "ill will" when you try to save your marriage and for your children the father? Is a marriage worthless, nowadays?

Does a wife have to silently watch and endure it, when her husband is being led into temptation by a siren, who doesn't even oblige to his request she dress in a decent manner?

I think that's ill will from the assistant, very ill will....
The wife could've also tried to befriend the female worker to make sure that she isn't a threat etc.
Those are unrealistic notions, my dear. Usually a practice is brimming with business, at least here they are, with mandatory health care.
A doctor's wife could not appear in a practice and try to sound some girl out, leave alone befriendong staff, that would be a little out there, lol...

My father was a doctor and my mother would have never gone to his practice to sound some girl out, she was the bosses wife and she would have disgraced herself by doing so.
But sending her on the threat and not caring at all seemed easier I guess. One just can't help but make fun of this ridiculous behaviour.
Make fun of it?

Perhaps it's not so funny anymore when you picture in your mind, that your mother had been in the wife's situation and tried to defend her family against a third party.

Who didn't care about her bosses wish for appropriate cloths, as any boss can ask for.

What comes around goes around--!

Karma. Got back what she gave--not caring!

Hope she learned!

And--let's assume we are so evolved, as practising Buddhists, that we are way above "ridiculous behaviour..."

(Btw, earlier you said:
"While I find the jealousy of the woman understandable").

Do we not still have compassion and patience with animals, scared of loss?

Why then not with a human being?

Was she not our mother before, in countless previous lives....?
User avatar
tiltbillings
Posts: 23046
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 9:25 am

Re: Employers can fire workers they find too sexy

Post by tiltbillings »

The wife needs to grow up.
>> Do you see a man wise [enlightened/ariya] in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.<< -- Proverbs 26:12

This being is bound to samsara, kamma is his means for going beyond. -- SN I, 38.

“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” HPatDH p.723
User avatar
Annapurna
Posts: 2639
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:04 pm
Location: Germany
Contact:

Re: Employers can fire workers they find too sexy

Post by Annapurna »

Goodness.
User avatar
Sambojjhanga
Posts: 109
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2012 3:51 pm
Location: San Diego, California, USA

Re: Employers can fire workers they find too sexy

Post by Sambojjhanga »

I'm curious as to those who think that the correct decision here was made.

Do you not see the problem with the Dentist sending the employee sexually suggestive texts? Does this not somewhat indicate to you that the story that the woman who was fired was simply wearing too tight dresses and refused to stop is at least not the full story?

My point here is that when you are a so-called "job creator" and have such power over other's lives, their very income, then you must be VERY CAREFUL as to how you deal with this.

Yes, the woman shouldn't have worn too-tight dresses and the guy shouldn't have asked her if she ever orgasmed. But to cause someone to lose their income over THIS (assuming the woman's work was up to par), is really a travesty.

We are in a very serious economic downturn in this country, actually, the entire world. Good jobs are hard to come by. I think this was a terrible decision by the state Supreme Court.
Sabba rasam dhammaraso jinati
The flavor of the dhamma exceeds all other flavors
User avatar
yawares
Posts: 1531
Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2012 3:23 pm

Re: Employers can fire workers they find too sexy

Post by yawares »

Dear Members,

I don't worry about the pretty girl that was fired...she can find a new good job anyday...better than get killed/hurt/confronted by jealous/crazy wife. There were doctor's wife/dentist's wife that showed up at the clinic and told a lady patient that she was the doctor's wife/dentist's wife...a true story indeed.......BELIEVE IT OR NOT !!!

Have you ever heard of the news about....dentist Clara Harris guilty of murder for running her cheating husband over with a Mercedes-Benz sentenced her to 20 years in prison ???? Such a big news..dentist wife ran over her (dentist) husband!!!

Please click: http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/02/ ... 54202.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

I think this world will be a very nice place to live if all people observe the Buddha's 5 Precepts :anjali:
yawares
User avatar
Sambojjhanga
Posts: 109
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2012 3:51 pm
Location: San Diego, California, USA

Re: Employers can fire workers they find too sexy

Post by Sambojjhanga »

yawares wrote:
I think this world will be a very nice place to live if all people observe the Buddha's 5 Precepts :anjali:
yawares
This I agree with most fully!

Metta

:anjali:
Sabba rasam dhammaraso jinati
The flavor of the dhamma exceeds all other flavors
User avatar
Annapurna
Posts: 2639
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:04 pm
Location: Germany
Contact:

Re: Employers can fire workers they find too sexy

Post by Annapurna »

Sambojjhanga wrote:I'm curious as to those who think that the correct decision here was made.

Do you not see the problem with the Dentist sending the employee sexually suggestive texts? Does this not somewhat indicate to you that the story that the woman who was fired was simply wearing too tight dresses and refused to stop is at least not the full story?

My point here is that when you are a so-called "job creator" and have such power over other's lives, their very income, then you must be VERY CAREFUL as to how you deal with this.

Yes, the woman shouldn't have worn too-tight dresses and the guy shouldn't have asked her if she ever orgasmed. But to cause someone to lose their income over THIS (assuming the woman's work was up to par), is really a travesty.

We are in a very serious economic downturn in this country, actually, the entire world. Good jobs are hard to come by. I think this was a terrible decision by the state Supreme Court.
Do you not see the problem with the Dentist sending the employee sexually suggestive texts?
I do. But they came after his futile appeals to dress less provocatetively, if we are to believe these attempts took place.
If yes, his restance was slowly but surely getting undermined...
Does this not somewhat indicate to you that the story that the woman who was fired was simply wearing too tight dresses and refused to stop is at least not the full story?
It could be it was different, but we can only judge it by what those involved testified.

I tend to believe the dentist, because a friend of mine told me the exact same story many moons ago, when he complained about a female colleague, who was sitting across the table and bending forrward a lot with half naked breasts. He also complained, asking her to wear less provocative cloths, as he wanted to work here and not struggle with an erection half of the day, but she refused to.

The end of the story was that he was allowed to sit elsewhere, where he didn't see her half exposed breasts each time he looked up from the screen.

The denrist would have sat even closer to the assistant when treating a patient.
My point here is that when you are a so-called "job creator" and have such power over other's lives, their very income, then you must be VERY CAREFUL as to how you deal with this.
I'm rather confident that most medical academics are fully aware of their responsibilties, especially towards their patients, I personally, like most women, also know, that men are men, whatever the thin veneer of a job there may be.

Adam is still easily tempted by Eve.
Yes, the woman shouldn't have worn too-tight dresses and the guy shouldn't have asked her if she ever orgasmed.
Not to be nitpicking, I think he asked something slightly different, which was a sad evidence of his thoughts geoing into the wrong direction.

And if it is so, that she wore too tight close, and didn't oblige to his requests to protect all involved from what happened later, she is fully respinsible for losing her jon and I am sorry, some won't listen and have to learn the hard way.

I'm sure she will never dress that way again.
But to cause someone to lose their income over THIS (assuming the woman's work was up to par), is really a travesty.

We are in a very serious economic downturn in this country, actually, the entire world. Good jobs are hard to come by. I think this was a terrible decision by the state Supreme Court.
Well, we should all know that..... And should value holding a good job....

I am for instance self-employed and my bosses are all my customers. If I don't keep them happy, I lose them, and thus my income, it's that simple.
It's a wild world and we better get used to it. Don't play nice and you might cry later.

There must be a reason why the Supreme court decided this way.

We only read a short summary, but they had a lot more information and evidence.

Often, character witnesses are called to testify.

Lets assume she WAS wearing very sexy cloths, and other assistants and patients would have testified to this.

Lets assume he is otherwise known as having an excellent reputation...there you go.

Know your place and whom you challenge.
Post Reply