What's the point?

A discussion on all aspects of Theravāda Buddhism
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nrose619
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What's the point?

Post by nrose619 »

I try being generous and kind and I just get stepped on by people. What's the point in being kind when people will just cut you down? Is there even a meaning to our existence? Sorry for the rant I just had a bad day and could really use some good advice. :cry:
"A silver bird
flies over the autumn lake.
When it has passed,
the lake's surface does not try
to hold on to the image of the bird."
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DNS
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Re: What's the point?

Post by DNS »

Sorry to hear of the bad day. This will pass. It is the intention that counts. There are some people who act like jerks or actually are jerks. Just remember you had the best of intentions and move on from there.
daverupa
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Re: What's the point?

Post by daverupa »

Do not underestimate equanimity in these sorts of environments; the brahmaviharas are facets of one viewpoint, rather than discreet perspectives to be wielded in turn.

:hug:
  • "And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting oneself one protects others? By the pursuit, development, and cultivation of the four establishments of mindfulness. It is in such a way that by protecting oneself one protects others.

    "And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting others one protects oneself? By patience, harmlessness, goodwill, and sympathy. It is in such a way that by protecting others one protects oneself.

- Sedaka Sutta [SN 47.19]
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cooran
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Re: What's the point?

Post by cooran »

nrose619 wrote:I try being generous and kind and I just get stepped on by people. What's the point in being kind when people will just cut you down? Is there even a meaning to our existence? Sorry for the rant I just had a bad day and could really use some good advice. :cry:
I empathise with your feelings, and would be interested to hear if you find anything of assistance in the following link.:
http://Www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/auth ... b1068.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

With metta
Chris
---The trouble is that you think you have time---
---Worry is the Interest, paid in advance, on a debt you may never owe---
---It's not what happens to you in life that is important ~ it's what you do with it ---
SarathW
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Re: What's the point?

Post by SarathW »

Hi Nrose
I had a minor car accident yesterday. (hit behind). I made an appointment with the panel beater and took time off from my work and went to see him just now. He said that he is too busy and did not even look at the car and ask me to come some other time!
Some people do not have feelings for others. I extended my loving kindness to the panel beater.
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”
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Kim OHara
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Re: What's the point?

Post by Kim OHara »

Hi, nrose,
You've had lots of good answers already. here's another which I, at least, think is worth considering:
Everything we do inspires similar responses and actions from other people, so if we are nice to others, they tend to be (a little bit!) nicer to everyone around them, and the ripples spread out :smile: - sometimes returning to us, sometimes not. The same is true if we are nasty to others. :cry:

That can be expressed in terms of kamma and dependent origination if you like but I think we usually understand ideas better if we get rid of the barriers of foreign or technical terminology.

:namaste:
Kim
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cbonanno
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Re: What's the point?

Post by cbonanno »

nrose619 wrote:I try being generous and kind and I just get stepped on by people. What's the point in being kind when people will just cut you down? Is there even a meaning to our existence? Sorry for the rant I just had a bad day and could really use some good advice. :cry:
The only true kindness has no point.

And on the meaning of existence...

mu.
SamKR
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Re: What's the point?

Post by SamKR »

nrose619 wrote:I try being generous and kind and I just get stepped on by people. What's the point in being kind when people will just cut you down?
The point of being generous and kind is:
[...] ' he gives a gift with the thought, 'This is an ornament for the mind, a support for the mind.'
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .than.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
whatever others do in return of your generosity and kindness you can have benefits (even before they react to your generosity and kindness in good or bad way).
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DAWN
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Re: What's the point?

Post by DAWN »

If peoples are affected by greed, hatred and delusion - it's because they suffer to much. :console:
Sabbe dhamma anatta
We are not concurents...
I'am sorry for my english
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Cittasanto
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Re: What's the point?

Post by Cittasanto »

nrose619 wrote:I try being generous and kind and I just get stepped on by people. What's the point in being kind when people will just cut you down? Is there even a meaning to our existence? Sorry for the rant I just had a bad day and could really use some good advice. :cry:
Acts of kindness and skilfulness support and develop wholesome mind states, which gladden the mind. the point of generosity and other acts of punya is to give us something we can be proud of in a way that undermines negative personal images.
Unfortunately others may not act as we may hope regarding these acts and other qualities we develop so equanimity should be developed to balance how the world may react. we don't do these things to show off to others (same as with the precepts) we do these things to show ourselves they are good to do because they support a skilful state of mind which makes it easier to practice.
Blog, Suttas, Aj Chah, Facebook.

He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.
John Stuart Mill
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Annapurna
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Re: What's the point?

Post by Annapurna »

SarathW wrote:Hi Nrose
I had a minor car accident yesterday. (hit behind). I made an appointment with the panel beater and took time off from my work and went to see him just now. He said that he is too busy and did not even look at the car and ask me to come some other time!
Some people do not have feelings for others. I extended my loving kindness to the panel beater.
Sorry to hear that! Hope it will get resolved soon!

However, if I may, it does happen that people are more busy at the moment are than we are!

Sometimes we can't imagine their schedules!

Like, Christmas business is high right now, and I am faced with a simular problem tomorrow.

I have an online shop and many people buy too late, of course, and then I have work days like last SUNDAY:

I worked from 8 -24, except for getting a bite to eat. On a Sunday. When you want to rest. And may need to.

Tomorrow a Lady would like to drop by who contacted me like 3 or 4 weeks ago about a gift.

Now, so close before Christmas, she would like to come by, when I don't even have a show room, and is causing me enourmous stress because I have a feeling what she actually wants is to have a nice cup of tea with me on her free day and chat, and take her time trying everything in front of the mirror, and then buy a small thing.

She wants to get a happy xmas feeling...

And I just don't have the time.

All I have time for is grab a thing, and ship it, and do it again....

and I knew this would happen and asked her before to do this earlier in the year.

*sigh*

All this I just said, so that you don't think things of the man, without knowing his schedule.

He might even have someone in the hospital, etc, pp.

Don't take it personally, he may be a jerk, but he may be not and just struggle...

Ok?

Big hug from me!

Off to work...
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equilibrium
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Re: What's the point?

Post by equilibrium »

nrose619 wrote:I try being generous and kind and I just get stepped on by people. What's the point in being kind when people will just cut you down? Is there even a meaning to our existence? Sorry for the rant I just had a bad day and could really use some good advice. :cry:
Your situation is like this:
Seeing someone in a pool and you notice the person cannot swim, you decide to dive in the pool so to save the person.....but you too could not swim!
SarathW
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Re: What's the point?

Post by SarathW »

Hi Annapurana
I know exactly what you mean. There are so much pressure on small business people now days. We all are in this rat race. I am thinking how to get out of this. Sometimes I think that I should be a monk. But now days, monks are more busy than lay people. There is no jungles they all have been cleared out by human. So I am hanging to this Dhamma raft thinking that it will get me some where one day. I hope I won’t be landed back the same where I started! :D
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”
SarathW
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Re: What's the point?

Post by SarathW »

I am reading a book called The Buddha's Ancient Path by Ven Thera Piyadassi. Page 114 it reads:

A practice of Metta should be on his guard against callous folk who are egocentric. It ofen happens that when a person is gentle and sincere others try to exploit his good qualities for their own ends. This should not be encouraged. If one allows the self-centred to make unfair use of one's metta, kindness and tollarance, that tends to intensify rather than allay the evils and sufferings of society.

"Some serve and consort with one of their own gain,
Hard is it to find disinterested friends
since impure people think only of their own profit,
Walk alone, like the horn of a rhinoceros" Sn75.
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”
RMHayes
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Re: What's the point?

Post by RMHayes »

One possible approach for your consideration would be to be grateful to everyone, without exception.


http://kindredspiritualities.blogspot.c ... ryone.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

metta.
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