SamKR wrote:blows my mind how many dhamma-followers consider a sincere advice as an insult.
sometimes me too.
blows my mind how people on forums back each other up when someone is insulted. imagine we were in the work place, i would be one hundred percent in the right, if we were co workers and our boss was nearby they would say that you two need to lay off. mike would probably be written up after i told him i was insulted and he kept going. when someone says they don't want your advice and that it is insulting in respectful real life social situations, it's never appropriate too offer further advice, nor too fall into the classic "clique" mentality and walk up next too the supposed insult creator and offer them back up that is further negative and insulting too the recipient.
but this isn't the real world, is it?
ah too have a green name and be able too give "sincere advice" as much as you want! in real life i'm management at my work and am NEVER allowed too talk to people like you two are talking too me! probably why i don't have a complex that leads me too attempt too talk too people like that on a forum, i've been well trained too withhold possibly insulting words and too apologize immediately if anyone feels insulted. if someone insults me i'm not even allowed too reply other than doing what i've done here "i find that insulting, etc"! after that i would have too either let it go or take it up with my boss or HR.
but here, i have no recourse, i could "report" this, but i won't. there is no point at all! unless a mod is blatantly using cuss words or otherwise going too far, they have utter power (at least on every forum i've ever seen). interesting the dissimilarity too real life. i'm the equivalent too a "mod" at my work, mid management, so the administrators and other higher ups are around just like they are here. but in real life it's all politeness and tact, being so careful too never insult anyone or else receive a talking too from the boss. or get a call from HR. in fact my employees that are below me have much more freedom in this area than i do and the same goes for my boss, he has too use even more tact than i do! i imagine if this was a site where the users had too pay too use it this would not be the case. then i would be a valued customer instead of just a newb too be treated like garbage. if i complained about this specific conversation on this hypothetical site, a customer telling an employee that they are feeling insulted, and the employee just keeps going, i would be whisked away too a land of apologies and possibly free stuff and the employee would get a stern talking too from the boss.
as it is though, i have zero value here. if i study hard and answer lots of questions with great skill, then i would be valued on this forum and people would back me up. maybe even mods and administrators. but i would have too work up too that. work. for free. just so i can get respect on a forum? no thanks.
i suppose in the future i will just ignore such posts, although that's quite difficult. almost like hazing. you have too just "take it" or else face further ridicule, until you become "one of them" and then you can defend yourself and speak your mind.
i suppose i'll try too stick around and be silent when i feel insulted until i become "one of them". or i'll get fed up and go live in reality where, unless you're joining a fraternity or something, you don't have too deal with this kind of juvenile nonsense.
The time would not pass. Somebody was playing with the clocks, and not only the electronic clocks but the wind-up kind too. The second hand on my watch would twitch once, and a year would pass, and then it would twitch again.
There was nothing I could do about it. As an Earthling I had to believe whatever clocks said -and calendars.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five