Hello Forum Members,
My question today has to do with raising children. In my special case, the child is not mine, but i have in some sense inherited/adopted her as mine.
She is 12 years old now. She was 9 when i came into her life. Obviously before i showed up on the scene, a lot of things/behaviors that have become part of her nature were firmly rooted and nurtured. However, I believe that wise action with child rearing says that we must take an active role in teaching good habits. Kindness, etc.....
I had heard a teaching recently that made the point by saying that a child may see fire and think it is a toy. We cannot let the child run into the fire, for the damage they will obviously experience. In the same way, I think that when a child is displaying unkind, malicious, unloving, anger-filled, and negative emotions/actions, we are to try and help the grow in their understanding and implementation of the opposite action (kindness, compassion, good will, forgiveness).
However, it is very hard to change these negative patterns. Anyone know of some good resources or scriptures that talk about the disciplining of children in dhamma?
thank you
Wise Action with disciplining the child.
Re: Wise Action with disciplining the child.
hi rucontent,
try Barbara Colaroso, she has a no nonsense approach and alot of helpful practical tips.
don't give up,
jason
try Barbara Colaroso, she has a no nonsense approach and alot of helpful practical tips.
don't give up,
jason
Re: Wise Action with disciplining the child.
There is this from the Siglovda Sutta:
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .nara.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;"In five ways, young householder, the parents thus ministered to as the East by their children, show their compassion:
(i) they restrain them from evil,
(ii) they encourage them to do good,
(iii) they train them for a profession,
(iv) they arrange a suitable marriage,
(v) at the proper time they hand over their inheritance to them.
Liberation is the inevitable fruit of the path and is bound to blossom forth when there is steady and persistent practice. The only requirements for reaching the final goal are two: to start and to continue. If these requirements are met there is no doubt the goal will be attained. This is the Dhamma, the undeviating law.
- BB
- BB
Re: Wise Action with disciplining the child.
I found this book very helpful as well:
http://www.amazon.com/Everyday-Blessing ... 0786883146" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting
In the rush, rush, rush of too-much-to-do-and-no-time-to-do-it, the all-important, nurturing aspects of parenthood can easily disappear. Jon Kabat-Zinn, author of Wherever You Go, There You Are and Myla Kabat-Zinn have collaborated on Everyday Blessings, a book that approaches parenting from the Zen Buddhist position of moment-to-moment awareness. It's a beautiful presentation and a thoughtful approach to mindful meditation that will help you slow down, enrich your life as a parent, and nourish the internal life of your children.
http://www.amazon.com/Everyday-Blessing ... 0786883146" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Liberation is the inevitable fruit of the path and is bound to blossom forth when there is steady and persistent practice. The only requirements for reaching the final goal are two: to start and to continue. If these requirements are met there is no doubt the goal will be attained. This is the Dhamma, the undeviating law.
- BB
- BB
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Re: Wise Action with disciplining the child.
Try looking at admonishment, and at how the Buddha taught.rucontent wrote:Hello Forum Members,
My question today has to do with raising children. In my special case, the child is not mine, but i have in some sense inherited/adopted her as mine.
She is 12 years old now. She was 9 when i came into her life. Obviously before i showed up on the scene, a lot of things/behaviors that have become part of her nature were firmly rooted and nurtured. However, I believe that wise action with child rearing says that we must take an active role in teaching good habits. Kindness, etc.....
I had heard a teaching recently that made the point by saying that a child may see fire and think it is a toy. We cannot let the child run into the fire, for the damage they will obviously experience. In the same way, I think that when a child is displaying unkind, malicious, unloving, anger-filled, and negative emotions/actions, we are to try and help the grow in their understanding and implementation of the opposite action (kindness, compassion, good will, forgiveness).
However, it is very hard to change these negative patterns. Anyone know of some good resources or scriptures that talk about the disciplining of children in dhamma?
thank you
Blog, Suttas, Aj Chah, Facebook.
He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.
John Stuart Mill
He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.
John Stuart Mill