Facebook induced suffering

Casual discussion amongst spiritual friends.
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cooran
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Re: Facebook induced suffering

Post by cooran » Wed Jun 06, 2012 8:20 am

Ben wrote:Hi manas

I think its a mistake to characterize all online relationships as inferior to real-world relationships. Very many people live isolated from family members, friends, teachers and sangha members and the internet, and even facebook, can and does facilitate ongoing contact. Thanks to facebook I was able to find friends who I had not seen for 25 to 30 years. There is great potential for facebook and online communications to be of great benefit. The fact that you have personally not experienced those benefits for yourself does not invalidate those benefits.
kind regards,

Ben
Hello Ben, all,

Yes, I agree. Friends and relatives post whatever is happening and we all keep in touch. My son is currently in the U.S. and he only has to make one entry, post one photo and dozens of relllies and friends are updated.

with metta
Chris
---The trouble is that you think you have time---
---Worry is the Interest, paid in advance, on a debt you may never owe---
---It's not what happens to you in life that is important ~ it's what you do with it ---

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poto
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Re: Facebook induced suffering

Post by poto » Thu Jun 07, 2012 4:58 pm

I still steadfastly refuse to use facebook. Mainly because I dislike how they treat their users and sell off people's personal information.

My family keeps trying to get me to use facebook, saying almost all the other family members are on there. On that note, I have 2 aunts who have been very close all their lives, and they are now not speaking to each other over some insults exchanged on facebook. I find that kind of sad, and can't help but to think that had it not been for facebook they might still be talking. I doubt that other mediums of communication would have given rise to the same insults and egos.

I already have at least half a dozen ways people can contact me. People I know can visit me in person, call me on the phone, text me, e-mail me, instant message me, etc. If it's not something important enough to contact me through any of those mediums then I probably don't need to waste me time with it.

:coffee:
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." -- C. S. Lewis

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Sekha
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Re: Facebook induced suffering

Post by Sekha » Fri Jun 08, 2012 2:24 am

Where knowledge ends, religion begins. - B. Disraeli

http://www.buddha-vacana.org" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

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manas
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Re: Facebook induced suffering

Post by manas » Sun Jun 10, 2012 5:59 am

I just read about this in the paper, and thought I should share it here:
The problem with oversharing: why burglars like you using Facebook
Michael Lallo
June 10, 2012

IT SEEMS harmless enough: announcing your holiday plans on Facebook or uploading that dinner party photo to Twitter. But according to cyber safety experts, such posts are a gift to burglars and stalkers.

''Not only are you telling me where you are, you're telling me where you're not,'' says cyber safety consultant and former police officer Susan McLean. ''And I could get that photo, run it through a program and find out exactly where it was taken.''

Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/technology/tec ... z1xMmZzddh" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
To those who do use facebook - please read the article, it is sobering stuff. There was another one about privacy and facebook, too:
Face up to social reality
James Manning
June 10, 2012

Not everyone is pleased with the photographic memory of some popular networking services.

Would you want technology and information powerhouses such as Facebook and Google trawling through your photos and using facial-recognition software to identify you? Well, like it or not, they already do.

You have to opt in to use Google's Find My Face feature, then the next time one of your friends uploads a photo that looks like you (they know it does because of your profile and other pictures), your name will be suggested as a tag.

Facebook, which has a history of introducing unpopular features and asking for permission later, has been automatically using facial recognition for more than a year without many users so much as blinking an eye.

The amount of personal data Facebook is gathering from its 901 million users, who upload 300 million photos a day, is phenomenal.

To curb it - or to take advantage of the opportunity - new applications are being launched to help users manage their online reputations and protect their privacy.

A game of tag

Designed and built in Australia, CeeQ notifies users when their photo is uploaded to Facebook by someone else. Users can then take action, such as tagging or untagging themselves, or requesting the removal of the photo.

Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/digital-life/c ... 2027x.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
That part I bolded, is the real reason why I can't get into facebook. It's not the users I have a problem with, it's the designers and current operators of the site.

:anjali:
Knowing this body is like a clay jar,
securing this mind like a fort,
attack Mara with the spear of discernment,
then guard what's won without settling there,
without laying claim.

- Dhp 40

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Ben
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Re: Facebook induced suffering

Post by Ben » Sun Jun 10, 2012 6:04 am

Designed and built in Australia, CeeQ notifies users when their photo is uploaded to Facebook by someone else. Users can then take action, such as tagging or untagging themselves, or requesting the removal of the photo.
If I am not mistaken, Facebook already has this feature. I get a notification when someone uploads a photo of me and I can untag it - if I so wish.
kind regards,

Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global ReliefUNHCR

e: ben.dhammawheel@gmail.com..

sattva
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Re: Facebook induced suffering

Post by sattva » Sun Jun 10, 2012 7:00 am

I permanently disabled my account a few days ago for several reasons.
1. I was never really comfortable asking someone else to be "my friend" and only did it with a few people.
2. What I share with one person, even a friend, I might not want to share with another friend or a family member.
3. I found most of my friends don't use it.
4. The past is the past. I have no one that I hope to find. I have kept in touch with those that matter to me.
5. It was boring and so was I lol. I had nothing to write about and didn't find what I was reading by others that interesting either!
6. I don't trust my info being out there.

Well, there are my reasons. It may be different for others.
with metta,
sattva/louise

FrancesB
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Re: Facebook induced suffering

Post by FrancesB » Sun Jun 10, 2012 7:09 am

I don't like FB because it feeds one of my strongest difficulties which is envy of one of my friends (lack of mudita). Unfortunately she is also the kind of person who uses FB to feed her ego. It is not a good combination! My solution was to hide her from my news feed, but because I am still a friend I very occasionally (when weak) go and torment myself by looking at her page. Pathetic I know!! Its improving as I don't get upset anymore and able to understand our differences and my reaction. But still.........

I use FB to post social justice, animal welfare and environmental campaigns, which is useful I think, but as I said I have to use self discipline and sometimes I act in an unskillful way.

metta

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rowboat
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Re: Facebook induced suffering

Post by rowboat » Sun Jun 10, 2012 7:40 am

Hello, Sattva. We've not encountered one another before but you've been in my thoughts and I am happy to see you posting here again.
FrancesB wrote:I don't like FB because it feeds one of my strongest difficulties which is envy of one of my friends (lack of mudita). Unfortunately she is also the kind of person who uses FB to feed her ego. It is not a good combination! My solution was to hide her from my news feed, but because I am still a friend I very occasionally (when weak) go and torment myself by looking at her page. Pathetic I know!! Its improving as I don't get upset anymore and able to understand our differences and my reaction. But still.........

I use FB to post social justice, animal welfare and environmental campaigns, which is useful I think, but as I said I have to use self discipline and sometimes I act in an unskillful way.

metta
Hi Frances. I was just looking at this study reported in the Guardian on the negative psychological effects of Facebook:

Facebook's 'dark side': study finds link to socially aggressive narcissism
Psychology paper finds Facebook and other social media offer platform for obsessions with self-image and shallow friendships

Researchers have established a direct link between the number of friends you have on Facebook and the degree to which you are a "socially disruptive" narcissist, confirming the conclusions of many social media sceptics.

People who score highly on the Narcissistic Personality Inventory questionnaire had more friends on Facebook, tagged themselves more often and updated their newsfeeds more regularly.

The research comes amid increasing evidence that young people are becoming increasingly narcissistic, and obsessed with self-image and shallow friendships.

The latest study, published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, also found that narcissists responded more aggressively to derogatory comments made about them on the social networking site's public walls and changed their profile pictures more often.

A number of previous studies have linked narcissism with Facebook use, but this is some of the first evidence of a direct relationship between Facebook friends and the most "toxic" elements of narcissistic personality disorder.


Here is the rest of the article: http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/20 ... narcissism" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Rain soddens what is covered up,
It does not sodden what is open.
Therefore uncover what is covered
That the rain will not sodden it.
Ud 5.5

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Sekha
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Re: Facebook induced suffering

Post by Sekha » Sun Jun 10, 2012 8:07 am

This topic comes up very timely for me, as I just decided a few days ago to stop any activity on my facebook page and stop browsing whatever my "friends" share.

Main reasons are the following:

1. "socialization" is a direct impediment to meditation practice, as the Buddha reminds us in such suttas as this one: http://www.buddha-vacana.org/sutta/angu ... 6-118.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
2. I had a tendency to become narcissist and get overly attached to my image.
3. most of what is shared on the facebook does nothing but feed craving and ignorance.

If I ever want to get news from anyone, I can send them an email.
Where knowledge ends, religion begins. - B. Disraeli

http://www.buddha-vacana.org" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

rucontent
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Re: Facebook induced suffering

Post by rucontent » Sun Jun 10, 2012 8:34 pm

I am very pleased to see all the input from other members! This forum is wonderful. And much like what FB isn't. Now that some time has settled and i have sat with my discontent a bit more. I see that a possible "wise" solution would be to just not use it very much. I have almost everyone's status hidden, and i only get a few updates.....Dalai Lama, Dhamma stuff, Abraham Hicks, Tolle, etc.......

I have quelled my FB suffering, which was linked possibly to envy of seeing other people's post but it was more aversion at our messed up society. However, it is useful for communicating as if it was email. Granted you could email a person, but there is something about it that makes it easier/convenient. For now, my solution has been not to check it that much. But like a deep sankhara, your only a click away from feeding the monster, whether it be aversion to others mundane comments or the mundane responses that feed the very neurosis that keeps us in bondage.

I also happen to be a dj, who is friends with a lot of people who use FB in a shallow way. Constant self promotion, complaining, grand standing, etc.....

I am almost keeping it not to unfriend a lot of people. I frankly am not sure why i keep it. I struggle with it either way. One thing i have noticed is that when i am less connected, I have a tendency to be more creative and do other stuff. In some ways i feel a social pressure to keep it. Pressure is strong word to use but certainly influenced by the usefulness of it, although it is very minimal.

Thanks

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bodom
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Re: Facebook induced suffering

Post by bodom » Sun Jun 10, 2012 9:35 pm

The only Facebook induced suffering I contend with is the continuous barrage of Farmville invites that I have to reject daily! :tongue:

:anjali:
To study is to know the texts,
To practice is to know your defilements,
To attain the goal is to know and let go.

- Ajahn Lee Dhammadharo


With no struggling, no thinking,
the mind, still,
will see cause and effect
vanishing in the Void.
Attached to nothing, letting go:
Know that this is the way
to allay all stress.

- Upasika Kee Nanayan

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Modus.Ponens
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Re: Facebook induced suffering

Post by Modus.Ponens » Mon Jun 11, 2012 1:38 am

bodom wrote:The only Facebook induced suffering I contend with is the continuous barrage of Farmville invites that I have to reject daily! :tongue:

:anjali:
:jumping: You know, you can block the application when you get an invitation. Unless, you are secretly a farmville player! :mrgreen:
"He turns his mind away from those phenomena and, having done so, inclines his mind to the property of deathlessness: 'This is peace, this is exquisite — the resolution of all fabrications; the relinquishment of all acquisitions; the ending of craving; dispassion; cessation; Unbinding.' " - Jhana Sutta

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Ben
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Re: Facebook induced suffering

Post by Ben » Mon Jun 11, 2012 2:28 am

bodom wrote:The only Facebook induced suffering I contend with is the continuous barrage of Farmville invites that I have to reject daily! :tongue:

:anjali:
Oh, how I hear you Bodom!!
with metta,

Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global ReliefUNHCR

e: ben.dhammawheel@gmail.com..

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Ben
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Re: Facebook induced suffering

Post by Ben » Mon Jun 11, 2012 2:30 am

Modus.Ponens wrote:
bodom wrote:The only Facebook induced suffering I contend with is the continuous barrage of Farmville invites that I have to reject daily! :tongue:

:anjali:
:jumping: You know, you can block the application when you get an invitation. Unless, you are secretly a farmville player! :mrgreen:
Thanks MP, I didn't know about that.
kind regards,

Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global ReliefUNHCR

e: ben.dhammawheel@gmail.com..

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Modus.Ponens
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Re: Facebook induced suffering

Post by Modus.Ponens » Mon Jun 11, 2012 4:35 am

Ben wrote:
Modus.Ponens wrote:
:jumping: You know, you can block the application when you get an invitation. Unless, you are secretly a farmville player! :mrgreen:
Thanks MP, I didn't know about that.
kind regards,

Ben
In the left collumn of your facebook homepage, when there is a number in front of the application and games section, you click there. Then, on each invitation, you click in a little cross that appears as you put your mouse arrow over the invitation. In the options you choose to block the application. That way it will stop geting information on you and you'll never hear from it again.
"He turns his mind away from those phenomena and, having done so, inclines his mind to the property of deathlessness: 'This is peace, this is exquisite — the resolution of all fabrications; the relinquishment of all acquisitions; the ending of craving; dispassion; cessation; Unbinding.' " - Jhana Sutta

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