Porn Free for 90 Days

Exploring Theravāda's connections to other paths - what can we learn from other traditions, religions and philosophies?
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reflection
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by reflection » Tue Apr 10, 2012 6:02 pm

I would say those all factors can contribute for certain people. However I think those factors are not the core problem . The real problem is lust - at least for me, I can't speak for everybody. And so it is not just porn, but an addiction to sexuality in general.

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Alex123
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by Alex123 » Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:01 pm

tiltbillings wrote:
reflection wrote:That's for each individual to determine for him/herself.
Well, I am not the arbiter of what is a healthy response to sex, but I seen have a far bit of unhealthy responses to sex.
And I don't think renunciation is unskillful/unhealthy at all; especially if you take in mind that renunciation is not the same as suppresion.
The issue is not suppression, it is repression. Repressed sexuality can give rise to very negative views of sex, of women (if one is male) and so forth. And it is easy enough to run through a list of "renunciates" who have acted badly sexually because they have not really come to grips with their own sexuality. One thing that would constitute, in part, a healthy response to sex is being comfortable with one's sexual feelings, even if they are uncomfortable.

What do you suggest that one should do? Indulge in pornography?
"Life is a struggle. Life will throw curveballs at you, it will humble you, it will attempt to break you down. And just when you think things are starting to look up, life will smack you back down with ruthless indifference..."

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ground
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by ground » Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:19 pm

Wow ... that's an inference :lol:

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Alex123
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by Alex123 » Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:36 pm

Buddha has often talked about benefits of sense restraint (it is one of requirements for better progress), and I am a bit puzzled why some Buddhists would criticize it.
"Life is a struggle. Life will throw curveballs at you, it will humble you, it will attempt to break you down. And just when you think things are starting to look up, life will smack you back down with ruthless indifference..."

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ground
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by ground » Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:44 pm

Alex123 wrote:Buddha has often talked about benefits of sense restraint (it is one of requirements for better progress), and I am a bit puzzled why some Buddhists would criticize it.
Lack of faith due to lack of suffering?

Kind regards

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ground
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by ground » Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:46 pm

... And what is the supporting condition for faith? 'Suffering' should be the reply.

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .bodh.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

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Alex123
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by Alex123 » Tue Apr 10, 2012 8:17 pm

ground wrote:
... And what is the supporting condition for faith? 'Suffering' should be the reply.

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .bodh.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
And it also requires wisdom. All of is suffer to greater or lesser degree.

When it comes to suffering I see three types of responses:
1) Deny it. But this doesn't fix it.
2) Idealize it, "suffering makes us better!", which doesn't actually fix it either.
Or, the best:
3) Extinguish it. Here is the value of Dhamma.

Lust can be terrible. Some people can become so desperate that they can cut their wrists, hang themselves or do something much worse. Trying to extinguish it is safer for the person and others.
"Life is a struggle. Life will throw curveballs at you, it will humble you, it will attempt to break you down. And just when you think things are starting to look up, life will smack you back down with ruthless indifference..."

Justsit
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by Justsit » Tue Apr 10, 2012 9:10 pm

Do you think lust is worse than any other type of suffering? Desperate people kill themselves and perform horrible deeds due to depression, anger, and other emotions - should all powerful emotions be extinguished, then?

There is a fourth option, which requires, as you say, wisdom, and great discipline - just observe the emotion, and it will self-liberate.

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Alex123
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by Alex123 » Tue Apr 10, 2012 9:17 pm

Justsit wrote:Do you think lust is worse than any other type of suffering?
Often other emotions are based on lust. In any case I was using lust as an example.
Justsit wrote: Desperate people kill themselves and perform horrible deeds due to depression, anger, and other emotions - should all powerful emotions be extinguished, then?
It is your call. Do you want to experience depression, anger, anxiety, fear, etc?
Justsit wrote: There is a fourth option, which requires, as you say, wisdom, and great discipline - just observe the emotion, and it will self-liberate.
This is included in 3rd option.
"Life is a struggle. Life will throw curveballs at you, it will humble you, it will attempt to break you down. And just when you think things are starting to look up, life will smack you back down with ruthless indifference..."

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ground
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by ground » Wed Apr 11, 2012 2:57 am

ground wrote:
Alex123 wrote:Buddha has often talked about benefits of sense restraint (it is one of requirements for better progress), and I am a bit puzzled why some Buddhists would criticize it.
Lack of faith due to lack of suffering?

Kind regards
Also sense restraint should be accompanied by joy. If it isn't then it is of no use in the context of liberation. The Buddha did take into account how human khandhas function.
"And what are the six kinds of renunciation joy? The joy that arises when — experiencing the inconstancy of those very forms, their change, fading, & cessation — one sees with right discernment as it actually is that all forms, past or present, are inconstant, stressful, subject to change: That is called renunciation joy. (Similarly with sounds, smells, tastes, tactile sensations, & ideas.)

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .than.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

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Ben
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by Ben » Wed Apr 11, 2012 3:33 am

Time to get back on topic, folks!
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global ReliefUNHCR

e: ben.dhammawheel@gmail.com..

dhamma_newb
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by dhamma_newb » Fri Apr 13, 2012 12:31 pm

52 days and I relapsed. I don't think I can do this alone and I think I need professional help. I am sorry to all those that I have let down.
The watched mind brings happiness.
Dhp 36

I am larger and better than I thought. I did not know I held so much goodness.
Walt Whitman

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Ben
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by Ben » Fri Apr 13, 2012 12:46 pm

Relax Don, you haven't let anyone down! 52 days is a pretty awesome effort.
We all fall down and then get up again, fall down and get up.
Be easy on yourself.
With metta,

Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global ReliefUNHCR

e: ben.dhammawheel@gmail.com..

Sarva
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by Sarva » Fri Apr 13, 2012 1:11 pm

Ben wrote:Relax Don, you haven't let anyone down! 52 days is a pretty awesome effort.
We all fall down and then get up again, fall down and get up.
Be easy on yourself.
With metta,

Ben
Well said, Ben
Keep positive Don! :toast:
“Both formerly & now, it is only stress that I describe, and the cessation of stress.” — SN 22:86

David2
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Re: Porn Free for 90 Days

Post by David2 » Fri Apr 13, 2012 2:48 pm

dhamma_newb wrote:52 days and I relapsed. I don't think I can do this alone and I think I need professional help. I am sorry to all those that I have let down.
Beating yourself up can be a lot worse than watching porn.
So, whatever you do, don't beat yourself up.
Just keep living your life with best intentions, noone can live it perfectly according to the Dhamma unless one is an arahant.

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