Whether it can or cannot, following the lead of the Vinaya I'd suggest that it should not be endorsed or encouraged.
retrofuturist wrote:Greetings Thaibebop,
Please speak to your wife about your thoughts, and if you're both Buddhist, have the courage collectively to seek guidance from a local bhikkhu whom you trust.
santa100 wrote:Even on a logical and practical standpoint, suicide should be ranked at the very bottom of the list. There's a potential only unique to human beings to be able to help oneself and to help many other sentient beings. So cutting off a human life would mean cutting of that unique potential for the benefit to oneself and to many others..
Thaibebop wrote:I am in a very vulnerable and morbid time, right now. So, I am not sure of my wording or thinking, but I know my family would be better off without me, however, I cannot live with out them. All my wife has too is go home and all of our money problems are solved. My kids have food, clothes, a home and they no longer have to depend on me. I am failing as a father and husband. If they leave, I can't handle that, so why not check out. In the end it would be better for all, less suffering for my wife and children.
cooran wrote:Hello thaibebop,
Your current view of how things are is most likely distorted. Things do not stay the same, everything changes - so the bad times will pass and you WILL be happy again. Do not leave your wife and children alone. Children need a father their whole life long.
Please call and talk toll-free to someone here:
For Suicide Prevention & Emotional Crisis - When You Feel You Can't Go On
From a buddhist perspective, suicide by ordinary unenlightened worldlings is likely to have very bad rebirth results.
Here is a previous thread:
Suicide and Euthanasia according to Theravada
with metta and karuna,
Goofaholix wrote:Thaibebop wrote:I am in a very vulnerable and morbid time, right now. So, I am not sure of my wording or thinking, but I know my family would be better off without me, however, I cannot live with out them. All my wife has too is go home and all of our money problems are solved. My kids have food, clothes, a home and they no longer have to depend on me. I am failing as a father and husband. If they leave, I can't handle that, so why not check out. In the end it would be better for all, less suffering for my wife and children.
I'm guessing your wife is Thai and you are saying that all your money problems would be solved if your family moves back to Thailand, is that correct?
Can you not move there with them?
I don't believe suicide is ever an answer to life's problems, perhaps with the exception of terminal illness to prevent unnecessary suffering, even if you think you are helping others.
I hope you find the courage to think this through and find a good solution.
DarwidHalim wrote:Sometimes, we think we have done something very very wrong, but actually if we cool down and look the things from broader perspective, there is no something called right or wrong.
This reality doesn't have identity. This reality is free from any right and wrong idea. If we think this is right, that is just our mind thinking this is right. If we think this is wrong, this is also just our mind thinking this is wrong.
By knowing that right or wrong are from this mind, not from reality, what is the point to blame this and that?
People say some time your life is up, sometime your life is down. However, only deluded people think And see their life in that way.
Right from the start, there is already no up and no down. Just our perspective.
This human life is difficult to get, extremely difficult.
Please see this story. Hopefully it can give you some insight:
(There is nothing right or wrong, or joyful or suffering, just depend on how we look this reality)
One day in late summer, an old farmer was working in his field with his old sick horse. The farmer felt compassion for the horse and desired to lift its burden. So he left his horse loose to go the mountains and live out the rest of its life.
Soon after, neighbors from the nearby village visited, offering their condolences and said, "What a shame. Now your only horse is gone. How unfortunate you are!. You must be very sad. How will you live, work the land, and prosper?" The farmer replied: "Who knows? We shall see".
Two days later the old horse came back now rejuvenated after meandering in the mountainsides while eating the wild grasses. He came back with twelve new younger and healthy horses which followed the old horse into the corral.
Word got out in the village of the old farmer's good fortune and it wasn't long before people stopped by to congratulate the farmer on his good luck. "How fortunate you are!" they exclaimed. You must be very happy!" Again, the farmer softly said, "Who knows? We shall see."
At daybreak on the next morning, the farmer's only son set off to attempt to train the new wild horses, but the farmer's son was thrown to the ground and broke his leg. One by one villagers arrived during the day to bemoan the farmer's latest misfortune. "Oh, what a tragedy! Your son won't be able to help you farm with a broken leg. You'll have to do all the work yourself, How will you survive? You must be very sad". they said. Calmly going about his usual business the farmer answered, "Who knows? We shall see"
Several days later a war broke out. The Emperor's men arrived in the village demanding that young men come with them to be conscripted into the Emperor's army. As it happened the farmer's son was deemed unfit because of his broken leg. "What very good fortune you have!!" the villagers exclaimed as their own young sons were marched away. "You must be very happy." "Who knows? We shall see!", replied the old farmer as he headed off to work his field alone.
As time went on the broken leg healed but the son was left with a slight limp. Again the neighbors came to pay their condolences. "Oh what bad luck. Too bad for you"! But the old farmer simply replied; "Who knows? We shall see."
As it turned out the other young village boys had died in the war and the old farmer and his son were the only able bodied men capable of working the village lands. The old farmer became wealthy and was very generous to the villagers. They said: "Oh how fortunate we are, you must be very happy", to which the old farmer replied, "Who knows? We shall see!"
Khalil Bodhi wrote:As a father and a husband I can tell you that suicide is the worst of all possible options. Please avail yourself of the hotline Cooran provided and you can PM me if you just need to talk. May you be free from grief and pain!
Dan74 wrote:Many of us have thoughts like these, in the difficult times.
Please consider how it would impact your children and your wife emotionally if you did that.
If you've messed up and you realize it now, this is the chance to work hard and set it right. Sometimes we need help to do that. Now may be just such a time and like others have said, it is wise to ask for help when help is needed.
To quit is the easiest of all. I doubt it would improve anything. Suicide tends to mess up everyone around the person who does it. It is usually a selfish and cruel act - ask any of the family of suicides. Instead think of a small thing you can do better. Something realistic. Write it down. The next day, do it. Think of another thing. This is how a change often starts - from small steps.
Nothing is set in stone. This situation will also change. You too have got what it takes to turn it around. If you really want to.
May you be well!!!
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