Parents and Going Forth

Discussion of ordination, the Vinaya and monastic life. How and where to ordain? Bhikkhuni ordination etc.
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Re: Parents and Going Forth

Post by Goofaholix » Wed Nov 02, 2011 2:25 am

retrofuturist wrote:I didn't say there was. I was thinking about how supporters would support a monk, when there is no known lay Theravada presence to support that. As for the issue you raise here, though...

5. Should any bhikkhu lie down together (in the same dwelling) with an unordained person for more than two or three consecutive nights, it is to be confessed.

6. Should any bhikkhu lie down together (in the same dwelling) with a woman, it is to be confessed.

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My understanding is that same dwelling is considered to be under the same roof but without seperate doors, so an apartment building wouldn't count if in seperate apartments for example.

Why should he have to sleep under the same roof in order to look after his parents? a sleepout, a neighbouring flat, a caravan, a garage all would be considered luxury for a forst monk.

If they are so sick they need constant monitoring at night then they should be in a hospital or similar don't you think?
“Peace is within oneself to be found in the same place as agitation and suffering. It is not found in a forest or on a hilltop, nor is it given by a teacher. Where you experience suffering, you can also find freedom from suffering. Trying to run away from suffering is actually to run toward it.” ― Ajahn Chah

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Re: Parents and Going Forth

Post by Bankei » Wed Nov 02, 2011 2:37 am

in Thailand it seems parents and family are still an integral part of the life of a monk. Monks go home to look after family members and even just to see family members.

In my family there is an uncle who is the Abbot of a Wat in Bangkok. Every Songkran he comes from Bangkok to his mother's house with the whole family and stays several days. During this period monks are invited for lunch from the Wat across the road into the house for lunch, but he doesn't join them, just sits separately. Its like his little holiday period.

Another young monk at my local wat arranges his sister to come everyday and he hands over extra food to her for the family.

Once I went to someone's house and there was a monk staying there. He was looking after the old grandfather who was dying and was planning to stay until the death.


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Re: Parents and Going Forth

Post by mikenz66 » Wed Nov 02, 2011 3:36 am

Hi Retro,
Thank you for clarifying the various issues.
retrofuturist wrote:Greetings Mike,
mikenz66 wrote:Why all this theoretical stuff?
Because the issue may well become a reality for me one day, so I would like to know.
retrofuturist wrote:
mikenz66 wrote:Goofaholix and others are talking about is how it would work in Asia.
All well and good, but Jack did not define the topic in such a narrow ethnocentric fashion.
Which is why I explained that in Asia a bhikkhu might, for practical reasons, have to look after parents if there was no other support for them, whereas in my country (I may be over-generalizing about "The West") they would generally get at least some basic care from our social welfare system:
mikenz66 wrote:In the West there is generally tax-supported care, so there is less of a pressing issue...
If the Bhikkhu was from somewhere were there was neither lay support, government support, or community support of some kind, then there would be some difficult decisions about whether one could actually continue as a bhikkhu. But no-one said that this would be easy, or that there is a "right to be a bhikkhu".
retrofuturist wrote: Indeed, but it would still be an issue to be addressed. As per Jack's question, "Also say your parents, or one of them were taken ill or had an accident or died, would ones renouncment of attachment extend as far as to ignore these things?"
OK, so there are actually two issues:
1. The practicalities of care.
  • This has been discussed, somewhat, above.
2. The issue of whether, if the practicalities are not a problem, should one dissociate from one's parents?
  • I would say that is a matter for the individual.

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