Future Bhikkhu wrote:
I was interested in hearing why you do not ordain. I know that many of you are well versed and practiced but if you know that life is full of suffering, why do you not strive to end that suffering with the most effective way possible? All opinons are valid.
What a thread!
I have gone from being a casual Buddhist to a dyed-in-the-wool Buddhist (i.e. studying and practising Buddhism to the best of my ability for 10 long years with strong ordaining intentions) to a completely non-Buddhist agnostic who meditates; dunno know where to next though, lol.
The ritualistic stuff is something I can tolerate though I am not a fan...but I can not
tolerate office-politics in monasteries carried out by monks and anagarikas. I have seen it first-hand in Asian and Western monasteries both, to the point that, unfortunately, no special reverance arises in me towards these institutions and the people in them as a whole
anymore (individually, yes). This is in stark contrast to what my mind felt towards these places and people before (no offense intended if you are a nice monk or a nun). One day when I woke up, I realised that I am no longer in love with Buddhism - the sparks and the magic, simply gone out of the window. How can I marry myself to monkhood when I am not in love with Buddhism? But the Buddhism-less life has become so very freeing for me - like a rock lifted off my head - and my meditation is better and I am more content.
In case you wonder, then what am I doing in a Buddhist Forum? I am attracted spiritualism.... I have always been.....and even though this Forum says it is a Buddhist one I have noted there are secret agents of spiritualism here who drop beautiful gems of spiritual wisdom attributed to no organised religion; and I love collecting them!