Casual tinder sex?

Balancing family life and the Dhamma, in pursuit of a happy lay life.
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Bhikkhu Pesala
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by Bhikkhu Pesala » Wed Nov 13, 2019 6:28 pm

With casual sex via a dating app, how do you know that the person is not married or in a long term relationship? If they are, they probably won't mention it. Even if there is consent, if they are in a long-term relationship, the third precept is broken. In my opinion, ignorance is no defence in this case.

How do you know that the person is above the age of consent? According to Buddhism, a woman who is under the protection of her relatives is included in those with whom one should not have sexual relations. The age of consent varies according to local laws, but the Dhamma takes precedence over local laws. I suggest as a rule of thumb: “Would this young person’s parents (guardians) consent if they knew that we were having sexual relations?”

In the case of prostitution how can you be sure that the prostitute is consenting? Prostitutes are often the victims of human trafficking, and are forced into the business. For all I know, they may even do business via dating apps.

If pregnancy results from casual sex, what will you do? Having an abortion, urging someone else to, condoning it, or speaking in praise of it, is breaking the first precept.

Tinder is used to start a fire; a small fire soon grows into a large one; and a large fire destroys entire communities.
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SarathW
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by SarathW » Wed Nov 13, 2019 7:11 pm

:goodpost: Bhante.
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”

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DNS
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by DNS » Wed Nov 13, 2019 7:19 pm

Bhikkhu Pesala wrote:
Wed Nov 13, 2019 6:28 pm
Tinder is used to start a fire; a small fire soon grows into a large one; and a large fire destroys entire communities.
That's right, I guess they have the right business name for what they do. Fire Sermon

confusedlayman
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by confusedlayman » Wed Nov 13, 2019 7:46 pm

binocular wrote:
Wed Nov 13, 2019 3:41 pm
confusedlayman wrote:
Mon Nov 11, 2019 10:16 pm
Having casual sex on tinder dating with consent is against any precepts that will hinder my progress to low stage of enlightment. (Stream entry)
Just read your signature:
non-agitation is highest peace
living unaffected by other cause and condition to suffering is true bliss
not associating with stupid people is immediate peace
Lust makes people stupid. Not associating with stupid people is immediate peace.
but casual means not powerful but it can turn powerful I got it
non-agitation is highest peace
living unaffected by other cause and condition to suffering is true bliss
not associating with stupid people is immediate peace
- CL (confused layman)

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Akashad
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by Akashad » Thu Nov 14, 2019 9:29 am

not to mention Std or Hiv.

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Alīno
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by Alīno » Thu Nov 14, 2019 3:51 pm

Akashad wrote:
Thu Nov 14, 2019 9:29 am
not to mention Std or Hiv.
I have i friend, she was a "liberated woman". Today she can not even masturbate because she got some illness that itching and burning shes genital organ. She is quite young, so she's freedom has prison, suffering and stigmatisation during the rest of she's humain life as result... :tantrum: :toilet:
Ajahn Nanadassano (before ordaining) : Venerable Ajahn, what is the bigest error that buddhist do in their practice?
Ajahn Jayasaro : They stop practicing ...

2600htz
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by 2600htz » Sat Nov 16, 2019 6:01 pm

Hello:

Its not breaking the precept, but how much unwholesomeness its bringing to your table?.

And the answer is uff i don´t know. I mean, everyone agrees its an action rooted in lust, a mind with craving. Not something to be developed.
But if a person is looking casual sex on tinder and you convince him that is not good, he probably will go home and masturbate watching porn.
So that person should also avoid that. Lets say that person is capable of abstaining from both these things. Maybe that mind with lust will go to food, and that person is going to delight in over eating.

Im not saying that it would not be beneficial to abandon casual sex, but i guess that if the fire its burning in several places, you have to be strategic and try to find balance within the big picture.

Regards.

Dinsdale
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by Dinsdale » Sat Nov 16, 2019 6:38 pm

The thoughts of an English gentlemen might be relevant here: :tongue:
https://www.quotes.net/quote/34871

PS I wish I knew what "tinder" is. Something to do with that new-fangled world-wide-web? :jumping:
Buddha save me from new-agers!

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Aloka
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by Aloka » Sat Nov 16, 2019 10:28 pm

Alīno wrote:
Thu Nov 14, 2019 3:51 pm

I have i friend, she was a "liberated woman". Today she can not even masturbate because she got some illness that itching and burning shes genital organ. She is quite young, so she's freedom has prison, suffering and stigmatisation during the rest of she's humain life as result...

I doubt your friend would be happy to know that you are discussing her genitals on the internet, Alino. Perhaps It would be a lot more helpful if you suggested that she goes to see a doctor to get a prescription for some medication.


.

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Alīno
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by Alīno » Sun Nov 17, 2019 3:26 am

Aloka wrote:
Sat Nov 16, 2019 10:28 pm
Alīno wrote:
Thu Nov 14, 2019 3:51 pm

I have i friend, she was a "liberated woman". Today she can not even masturbate because she got some illness that itching and burning shes genital organ. She is quite young, so she's freedom has prison, suffering and stigmatisation during the rest of she's humain life as result...

I doubt your friend would be happy to know that you are discussing her genitals on the internet, Alino. Perhaps It would be a lot more helpful if you suggested that she goes to see a doctor to get a prescription for some medication.


.
She is amazing person and have no taboo. I don't write her name or nothing to identify her, so even if some one who knows her will read it, will never mind that iam speaking about her...
It's just a body as it is, with its problems and it's organs, 4 elements, so knowing her I think she will be happy if her case will prevent someone to avoid the same error...

But yes i understand you and it's true that we should be carefull on the web... :spy: :anjali:
Ajahn Nanadassano (before ordaining) : Venerable Ajahn, what is the bigest error that buddhist do in their practice?
Ajahn Jayasaro : They stop practicing ...

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