Casual tinder sex?

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confusedlayman
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Casual tinder sex?

Post by confusedlayman » Mon Nov 11, 2019 10:16 pm

Hey guys,

Having casual sex on tinder dating with consent is against any precepts that will hinder my progress to low stage of enlightment. (Stream entry)
non-agitation is highest peace
living unaffected by other cause and condition to suffering is true bliss
not associating with stupid people is immediate peace
- CL (confused layman)

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retrofuturist
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by retrofuturist » Mon Nov 11, 2019 10:21 pm

Greetings,

It's not just precept non-compliance that hinders development... anything that inflames greed and lust is unwholesome (i.e. bad kamma).

Metta,
Paul. :)
"The uprooting of identity is seen by the noble ones as pleasurable; but this contradicts what the whole world sees." (Snp 3.12)

"It is natural that one who knows and sees things as they really are is disenchanted and dispassionate." (AN 10.2)

“Truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.” (Flannery O'Connor)

SarathW
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by SarathW » Mon Nov 11, 2019 11:09 pm

As far as I understand looking for a sex partner is not abreaking the precepts. This is no different to indulge in any other entertainment.
Provided they observe Uposata at least once a month. :tongue:
Perhaps as Paul said, it may be unwholesome if mindfulness is not exercised.
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”

dharmacorps
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by dharmacorps » Tue Nov 12, 2019 12:16 am

I agree, confusedlayman. You seem to be making a statement most here will agree with. Was there a question you would like to ask?

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SDC
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by SDC » Tue Nov 12, 2019 2:37 am

confusedlayman wrote:
Mon Nov 11, 2019 10:16 pm
Hey guys,

Having casual sex on tinder dating with consent is against any precepts that will hinder my progress to low stage of enlightment. (Stream entry)
If two people are consenting to have sex through a dating app, it is not by default sexual misconduct. It is no different than consenting to have sex after meeting at a club or the library.

Retro makes a very good point, don't be so concerned on whether or not you are violating a precept. Be more concerned about what the act is rooted in. Sometimes you might find that the act of trying to find whether or not there are loopholes in what constitutes a violation of the precepts, is actually just as unwholesome as what you're trying to circumvent or avoid.

confusedlayman
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by confusedlayman » Tue Nov 12, 2019 2:47 am

SDC wrote:
Tue Nov 12, 2019 2:37 am
confusedlayman wrote:
Mon Nov 11, 2019 10:16 pm
Hey guys,

Having casual sex on tinder dating with consent is against any precepts that will hinder my progress to low stage of enlightment. (Stream entry)
If two people are consenting to have sex through a dating app, it is not by default sexual misconduct. It is no different than consenting to have sex after meeting at a club or the library.

Retro makes a very good point, don't be so concerned on whether or not you are violating a precept. Be more concerned about what the act is rooted in. Sometimes you might find that the act of trying to find whether or not there are loopholes in what constitutes a violation of the precepts, is actually just as unwholesome as what you're trying to circumvent or avoid.
hi, but greed and lust based on seeing body as amazing . isn't it ignorance view?
non-agitation is highest peace
living unaffected by other cause and condition to suffering is true bliss
not associating with stupid people is immediate peace
- CL (confused layman)

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SDC
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by SDC » Tue Nov 12, 2019 2:54 am

confusedlayman wrote:
Tue Nov 12, 2019 2:47 am
SDC wrote:
Tue Nov 12, 2019 2:37 am
confusedlayman wrote:
Mon Nov 11, 2019 10:16 pm
Hey guys,

Having casual sex on tinder dating with consent is against any precepts that will hinder my progress to low stage of enlightment. (Stream entry)
If two people are consenting to have sex through a dating app, it is not by default sexual misconduct. It is no different than consenting to have sex after meeting at a club or the library.

Retro makes a very good point, don't be so concerned on whether or not you are violating a precept. Be more concerned about what the act is rooted in. Sometimes you might find that the act of trying to find whether or not there are loopholes in what constitutes a violation of the precepts, is actually just as unwholesome as what you're trying to circumvent or avoid.
hi, but greed and lust based on seeing body as amazing . isn't it ignorance view?
Of course it is rooted in ignorance, but the five precepts are about developing resistance to a certain degree of physical action. Having consensual sex is not by default a violation of the precepts.

confusedlayman
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by confusedlayman » Tue Nov 12, 2019 2:57 am

SDC wrote:
Tue Nov 12, 2019 2:54 am
confusedlayman wrote:
Tue Nov 12, 2019 2:47 am
SDC wrote:
Tue Nov 12, 2019 2:37 am


If two people are consenting to have sex through a dating app, it is not by default sexual misconduct. It is no different than consenting to have sex after meeting at a club or the library.

Retro makes a very good point, don't be so concerned on whether or not you are violating a precept. Be more concerned about what the act is rooted in. Sometimes you might find that the act of trying to find whether or not there are loopholes in what constitutes a violation of the precepts, is actually just as unwholesome as what you're trying to circumvent or avoid.
hi, but greed and lust based on seeing body as amazing . isn't it ignorance view?
Of course it is rooted in ignorance, but the five precepts are about developing resistance to a certain degree of physical action. Having consensual sex is not by default a violation of the precepts.
thanks for clearing doubt
non-agitation is highest peace
living unaffected by other cause and condition to suffering is true bliss
not associating with stupid people is immediate peace
- CL (confused layman)

confusedlayman
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by confusedlayman » Tue Nov 12, 2019 2:57 am

confusedlayman wrote:
Tue Nov 12, 2019 2:57 am
SDC wrote:
Tue Nov 12, 2019 2:54 am
confusedlayman wrote:
Tue Nov 12, 2019 2:47 am


hi, but greed and lust based on seeing body as amazing . isn't it ignorance view?
Of course it is rooted in ignorance, but the five precepts are about developing resistance to a certain degree of physical action. Having consensual sex is not by default a violation of the precepts.
thanks for clearing doubt
what is adultery or why prostitution is breaking precept?
non-agitation is highest peace
living unaffected by other cause and condition to suffering is true bliss
not associating with stupid people is immediate peace
- CL (confused layman)

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Alīno
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by Alīno » Tue Nov 12, 2019 3:06 am

Just dont suffer about it...

Also be aware that its not so easy to find someone on Tinder. There was statistics and 10% of alfa males get 90% of females on tinder. So if you are not alfa male you have potential access only to the low 10% of females..
.
You need to know that girls are submerged by "likes" and messages, so what telling you that she will answer your message and not one of these 10 guys who waiting for the same thing? Also be aware that girls are sick of males who need only sex... So if you think that your value on the sex-market is about 5/10, then you should know that you have no any chance with 5/10 girls as you. Why? Because guys are so frustrated that to get sex, that they "like" those female who under-rated...So why a girl will choose some random 5/10 while she have access to many 7/10?
Tinder is a whole science, very intresting but if you are not careful you can rapidly be frustrated. But it's good because you have opportunity to be desenchanted with male female relationship...

Past year I tried, as experience, Tinder and I get zero result, while I does fitness and was realy good shaped And in real life I get only best girls because of my good past kamma... So I can suggest you to try Tinder, but keep your sati well established, detach yourself from the result, because after one or two mounth of ignorance by females you will understand what word "frustration" is means... I had friends who had nothing for years, and while you look them they have all what a girl need: good job, good body, etc So be careful, don't suffer about it...
Last edited by Alīno on Tue Nov 12, 2019 3:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Ajahn Jayasaro : They stop practicing ...

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SDC
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by SDC » Tue Nov 12, 2019 3:09 am

confusedlayman wrote:
Tue Nov 12, 2019 2:57 am
what is adultery or why prostitution is breaking precept?
Adultery is more than just sex. It is dishonesty. That is probably why.

Paying for sex is probably not a violation of the precepts, but since prostitution is dangerous in most cases, it is not only foolish but is degenerative to both parties.

Again, looking for loopholes in the precepts can be almost as bad as the deliberate breaking of them. The whole point is to change the direction of action. There is no Buddhist God keeping score for you.

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retrofuturist
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by retrofuturist » Tue Nov 12, 2019 3:36 am

Greetings,
confusedlayman wrote:
Tue Nov 12, 2019 2:57 am
what is adultery or why prostitution is breaking precept?
It's actually not a violation of the precepts, as worded.

That doesn't make it a good thing to do though...

Metta,
Paul. :)
"The uprooting of identity is seen by the noble ones as pleasurable; but this contradicts what the whole world sees." (Snp 3.12)

"It is natural that one who knows and sees things as they really are is disenchanted and dispassionate." (AN 10.2)

“Truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.” (Flannery O'Connor)

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DooDoot
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by DooDoot » Tue Nov 12, 2019 7:14 am

confusedlayman wrote:
Tue Nov 12, 2019 2:57 am
what is adultery or why prostitution is breaking precept?
If you have/had good parents who lovingly & sacrificially worked for & looked after you; you would know, for your parents to maintain their marriage so they could maintain their family & preserve their wealth, they did not engage in adultery & prostitution. If you did not have good parents, you would be wandering around living on streets, living like a wild animal, in an animal realm, where you would prey on/exploit other people and other people would prey on/exploit you.

The 3rd precept does not exist in isolation from the other teachings, such as the right view "there is the gift, sacrifice & good deeds of mothers & fathers who create this human world & even a Brahma world".

You must consider what the world would be like if everyone engaged in adultery & prostitution. The human realm would not last long.
MN 117 wrote:And what, bhikkhus, is wrong view? ‘There is nothing given, nothing offered, nothing sacrificed; no fruit or result of good and bad actions; no this world, no other world; no mother, no father; no beings who are reborn spontaneously; no good and virtuous recluses and brahmins in the world who have realised for themselves by direct knowledge and declare this world and the other world.’ This is wrong view.

And what, bhikkhus, is right view that is affected by the taints, partaking of merit, ripening in the acquisitions? ‘There is what is given and what is offered and what is sacrificed; there is fruit and result of good and bad actions; there is this world and the other world; there is mother and father; there are beings who are reborn spontaneously; there are in the world good and virtuous recluses and brahmins who have realised for themselves by direct knowledge and declare this world and the other world.’ This is right view affected by taints, partaking of merit, ripening in the acquisitions.

https://suttacentral.net/mn117/en/bodhi
Living with Brahma are those families where, within the home, mother and father are respected by their children.... For what reason? 'Brahma,' bhikkhus, is a term for mother and father. Because mother and father are very helpful to their children, they take care of them and bring them up and teach them about the world.

https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .irel.html
Bhikkhus, these two bright principles protect the world. What are the two? Shame and fear of wrongdoing. If, bhikkhus, these two bright principles did not protect the world, there would not be discerned respect for mother or maternal aunt or maternal uncle's wife or a teacher's wife or the wives of other honored persons, and the world would have fallen into promiscuity, as with goats, sheep, chickens, pigs, dogs and jackals :pig: . But as these two bright principles protect the world, there is discerned respect for mother... and the wives of other honored persons."

https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .irel.html
There is always an official executioner. If you try to take his place, It is like trying to be a master carpenter and cutting wood. If you try to cut wood like a master carpenter, you will only hurt your hand.

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santa100
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by santa100 » Tue Nov 12, 2019 2:49 pm

confusedlayman wrote:Having casual sex on tinder dating with consent is against any precepts that will hinder my progress to low stage of enlightment.
While consensual sex doesn't technically break the 3rd precept, notice the Five precepts is the bare minimum, not the highest bar. One'd need to do a lot more to advance on the Path. And matter of fact, promiscuity does carry an inherent risk in hindering one's progress: STDs. Some, like herpes, once you've picked it up, you've gotten it for life because there's no cure! Good luck with trying to sit still and get into the jhanas with all the pains and itches during those herpes outbreak episodes.

binocular
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Re: Casual tinder sex?

Post by binocular » Wed Nov 13, 2019 3:41 pm

confusedlayman wrote:
Mon Nov 11, 2019 10:16 pm
Having casual sex on tinder dating with consent is against any precepts that will hinder my progress to low stage of enlightment. (Stream entry)
Just read your signature:
non-agitation is highest peace
living unaffected by other cause and condition to suffering is true bliss
not associating with stupid people is immediate peace
Lust makes people stupid. Not associating with stupid people is immediate peace.

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