should I marry or be single?
Re: should I marry or be single?
“Life is swept along, short is the life span; no shelters exist for one who has reached old age. Seeing clearly this danger in death, a seeker of peace should drop the world’s bait.” SN 1.3
Re: should I marry or be single?
Sure.SDC wrote: ↑Wed Nov 20, 2019 5:45 pmSure, but if the broader nature of "not going with the program" is unclear, they may just sit and suffer for having lost the ability to surrender. Is that not what depression amounts to? Having the ability to see the broader context but suffering as a result of not knowing what to do with the knowledge?
Hic Rhodus, hic salta!
Re: should I marry or be single?
Or try to force celibacy on themselves out of arrogance thinking (correctly) that sexual desire is for the lesser man. I've seen that a lot on this forums.Digity wrote: ↑Sun Nov 17, 2019 5:56 pm I wonder how many people who become Buddhist or are attracted to Buddhism do so because they feel they've been rejected when it comes to the social aspect of life and find solace in the solitary aspect of Buddhist practice. I think the risk there is you're ignoring the underlying issues that lead to your social rejection, such as low self-esteem, etc. I don't think one's practice is going to be very smooth though if you have those underlying issues.
Re: should I marry or be single?
Perhaps 'aiming high' could also mean seeking out a mate who is moral, kind and won't tear one's heart out? I assume some women might want a guy who treats them well, or is wealth so much more important?binocular wrote: ↑Wed Nov 20, 2019 3:09 pmWhy should that be a problem? Why shouldn't they want that?
Like you say:
For at least some women, this means aiming high when it comes to choice of partner/spouse.Above all, don't ever short change yourself. Being yourself is the only way you can be confident and happy.
To the Buddha-refuge i go; to the Dhamma-refuge i go; to the Sangha-refuge i go.
Re: should I marry or be single?
I have same problems in relationships. In my case, I prefer to be single.
- cappuccino
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Re: should I marry or be single?
Buddha wrote:Of all longings and desires, there is none as strong as sex. Sexual desire has no equal. Fortunately, it is one of a kind. If there were something else like it, no one in the entire world would be able to cultivate the Way.
Re: should I marry or be single?
Is this a vote?
If so, I say single
If so, I say single
Stop thinking and start living!
Re: should I marry or be single?
If you want Nibbana in this very life you should be single.
“Knowing that this body is just like foam,
understanding it has the nature of a mirage,
cutting off Māra’s flower-tipped arrows,
one should go beyond the King of Death’s sight.”
understanding it has the nature of a mirage,
cutting off Māra’s flower-tipped arrows,
one should go beyond the King of Death’s sight.”
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Re: should I marry or be single?
Yes I want in this life. Buddha also had wife and kids and attained nibbana in same life so I am thinking if this is case for me?
I may be slow learner but im at least learning...
Re: should I marry or be single?
confusedlayman wrote: ↑Wed Feb 19, 2020 2:28 amYes I want in this life. Buddha also had wife and kids and attained nibbana in same life so I am thinking if this is case for me?
Buddha also left them behind and became a homeless wanderer.
“Knowing that this body is just like foam,
understanding it has the nature of a mirage,
cutting off Māra’s flower-tipped arrows,
one should go beyond the King of Death’s sight.”
understanding it has the nature of a mirage,
cutting off Māra’s flower-tipped arrows,
one should go beyond the King of Death’s sight.”
Re: should I marry or be single?
Life in Iron Age India 2,500 years ago was very different to life in the western world in 21st century. The romantic idea of a "homeless wanderer" seeking Enlightenment isn't practical in the modern world. The reality is one would probably end up sleeping in shop doorways and under bridges, begging for money on a high street pavement, getting beaten up by aggressive men, and becoming physically ill and mentally disturbed.Ceisiwr wrote: ↑Wed Feb 19, 2020 6:39 amconfusedlayman wrote: ↑Wed Feb 19, 2020 2:28 amYes I want in this life. Buddha also had wife and kids and attained nibbana in same life so I am thinking if this is case for me?
Buddha also left them behind and became a homeless wanderer.
.
Re: should I marry or be single?
Aloka wrote: ↑Wed Feb 19, 2020 9:57 amLife in Iron Age India 2,500 years ago was very different to life in the western world in 21st century. The romantic idea of a "homeless wanderer" seeking Enlightenment isn't practical in the modern world. The reality is one would probably end up sleeping in shop doorways and under bridges, begging for money on a high street pavement, getting beaten up by aggressive men, and becoming physically ill and mentally disturbed.Ceisiwr wrote: ↑Wed Feb 19, 2020 6:39 amconfusedlayman wrote: ↑Wed Feb 19, 2020 2:28 am
Yes I want in this life. Buddha also had wife and kids and attained nibbana in same life so I am thinking if this is case for me?
Buddha also left them behind and became a homeless wanderer.
.
I’m not advocating to literally become homeless and live on the streets, but if someone wants Nibbana they should be single and celibate. If they are a layperson they can live alone, otherwise they can ordain.
“Knowing that this body is just like foam,
understanding it has the nature of a mirage,
cutting off Māra’s flower-tipped arrows,
one should go beyond the King of Death’s sight.”
understanding it has the nature of a mirage,
cutting off Māra’s flower-tipped arrows,
one should go beyond the King of Death’s sight.”
- cappuccino
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Re: should I marry or be single?
he probably was single… contrary to the story later writtenconfusedlayman wrote: Buddha also had wife and kids and attained nibbana in same life
Re: should I marry or be single?
cappuccino wrote: ↑Wed Feb 19, 2020 10:43 pmhe probably was single… contrary to the story later writtenconfusedlayman wrote: Buddha also had wife and kids and attained nibbana in same life
Coming from a wealthy family and in the right caste he would have been married by 29. He probably slept with a lot of women before leaving home too.
“Knowing that this body is just like foam,
understanding it has the nature of a mirage,
cutting off Māra’s flower-tipped arrows,
one should go beyond the King of Death’s sight.”
understanding it has the nature of a mirage,
cutting off Māra’s flower-tipped arrows,
one should go beyond the King of Death’s sight.”
- cappuccino
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- Joined: Thu Feb 11, 2016 1:45 am
- Contact:
Re: should I marry or be single?
of all people… he would be asexualCeisiwr wrote: He probably slept with a lot of women before leaving home too.