Uncle wants to move in...

Balancing family life and the Dhamma, in pursuit of a happy lay life.
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Uncle wants to move in...

Post by TLCD96 » Wed May 08, 2019 6:56 pm

Hi everyone,

Recently it seems that my uncle has lost his house, so now he's planning on moving in with my dad, my sister, and myself for a couple of months. None of us feel too good about it. My sister and I suspect that it's because my dad would feel bad about saying no.

My uncle has a history with drugs and going to jail, and whenever he's been here for a holiday he gets drunk and becomes more obnoxious than he already is. So he's not really the person I'd want to live with. Besides that, my family is already somewhat dysfunctional and the house just doesn't have much space.

I also have some anxiety about my personal belongings and space; my bedroom doesn't have a real door and has the first floor bathroom, so in the past my uncle has just barged in while I'm sleeping to use the bathroom. I also have some expensive things like a computer, books, cameras, that I'm worried about him messing with.

While I'm all for being kind and compassionate, I have difficulties with people of this sort of character. They make me uncomfortable and living with one seems like it's going to be a nightmare, not just for me but for the whole household.

Wondering how I should approach this issue?
All of us are bound by birth, aging, and death.

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Re: Uncle wants to move in...

Post by DNS » Wed May 08, 2019 7:33 pm

Why not move out, if you can afford to do so? What do you do for a living? If you could do that, you'd have your own place and not have to deal with the drama. It's a great freedom, if you can afford it, that is.

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Re: Uncle wants to move in...

Post by dharmacorps » Wed May 08, 2019 8:12 pm

You could try to hide your property. You could tell your father you don't feel safe around him and state your boundaries. You could mention if your personal space or property is violated you will call the police. If your family situation is too dysfunctional for that kind of communication to make a difference, maybe it is time to move if you can.

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Re: Uncle wants to move in...

Post by Pseudobabble » Thu May 16, 2019 8:28 am

Before you sleep, put pins on the floor by your door.
"Does Master Gotama have any position at all?"

"A 'position,' Vaccha, is something that a Tathagata has done away with. What a Tathagata sees is this: 'Such is form, such its origination, such its disappearance; such is feeling, such its origination, such its disappearance; such is perception...such are fabrications...such is consciousness, such its origination, such its disappearance.'" - Aggi-Vacchagotta Sutta

'Dust thou art, and unto dust thou shalt return.' - Genesis 3:19

'Some fart freely, some try to hide and silence it. Which one is correct?' - Saegnapha

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