Balancing family life and the Dhamma, in pursuit of a happy lay life.
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When I saw the movie "Watchmen", I was drawn to Dr. Manhattan's detachment from society. Throughout the movie, he grew increasingly distant from his family, but there was a deep sense of understanding that drew me to him. It was sad, but I guess when the time comes, it comes. My parents are leaning toward a divorce, my dad drinks excessively, my mom is tired of his behavior, I no longer talk to me dad even though we all live together, and I am 117 days drug and alcohol free. I am in a 12 step program, and I am on step 4, and I am beginning to realize a deep spiritual surge, a pull, toward nirvana. I have not reached nirvana, although I am very awake. My mom is one of the only people in my family that I like being around. I avoid my dad because he never talks to me when he's sober, so I feel like he only wants to talk to me when he's drunk. I have detached myself from the painful relationship with him. It is up and down with him. Hot, cold. Here, there. I know his patterns and I gave up on him about a month ago. I. I. I. This is my ego, and I don't know what to do. If life continues toward what I see in the future, I just might get rid of everything and become a monk after my mom passes away. I don't have inordinately contrasting ups and downs anymore, so now mountains are molehills.
Om Mani Padme Hum
Om Mani Padme Hum
As you appear to have learned, on a social level, its important to have Buddhist morals/ethics guide your life rather than any sense of loyalty to dysfunctional family. When you are established in right conduct, you will only relate with family members with right conduct. When we become mature adults, we often must act like parents towards our own parents. Fortunately, your mother is not a challenge but harmonious.
Yes, I feel the same way, yet sometimes I feel guilty for abandonning attachment to family.
It is not necessarily abandoning attachment but relating to people & family in the right way; for both yourself & for them. In time, it could be possible your example of conduct leads to your father changing his way of relating. Best wishes.