Structuring lay life

Balancing family life and the Dhamma, in pursuit of a happy lay life.
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Virgo
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Re: Structuring lay life

Post by Virgo »

Laypeople can also practice meditation in retreat to gain firm insight.

Kevin
User1249x
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Re: Structuring lay life

Post by User1249x »

Virgo wrote: Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:48 am Laypeople can also practice meditation in retreat to gain firm insight.

Kevin
even home retreat nowadays
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Dhammarakkhito
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Re: Structuring lay life

Post by Dhammarakkhito »

dylan u told me to just take the dukkaṭa and ordain, why different for u
"Just as the ocean has a single taste — that of salt — in the same way, this Dhamma-Vinaya has a single taste: that of release."
— Ud 5.5

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Dhammarakkhito
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Re: Structuring lay life

Post by Dhammarakkhito »

see my post 'lay people should still try' lot of good stuff there. if you are lay look to citta as an example, keeps the eight precepts the ten precepts etc
"Just as the ocean has a single taste — that of salt — in the same way, this Dhamma-Vinaya has a single taste: that of release."
— Ud 5.5

https://www.facebook.com/noblebuddhadha ... 34/?type=3

http://seeingthroughthenet.net/
https://sites.google.com/site/santipada ... allytaught
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dylanj
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Re: Structuring lay life

Post by dylanj »

Dhammarakkhito wrote: Wed Feb 21, 2018 4:28 am dylan u told me to just take the dukkaṭa and ordain, why different for u
I don't think I said that, because the dukkaṭa is for the monk ordaining you, not you, & to ask that of them seems not quite right. I believe what I said is that if I were a preceptor I'd take the dukkaṭa myself & ordain you.
Born, become, arisen – made, prepared, short-lived
Bonded by decay and death – a nest for sickness, perishable
Produced by seeking nutriment – not fit to take delight in


Departure from this is peaceful – beyond reasoning and enduring
Unborn, unarisen – free from sorrow and stain
Ceasing of all factors of suffering – stilling of all preparations is bliss
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dylanj
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Re: Structuring lay life

Post by dylanj »

Also, I do not mean to say debt is absolutely the only reason I am not ordaining. Also, the Buddha says not to sit in debt like a stone in water & I think I'd like to work myself to pay it off for the sake of peace of mind, knowing I'm not shirking responsibility or being lazy.
Born, become, arisen – made, prepared, short-lived
Bonded by decay and death – a nest for sickness, perishable
Produced by seeking nutriment – not fit to take delight in


Departure from this is peaceful – beyond reasoning and enduring
Unborn, unarisen – free from sorrow and stain
Ceasing of all factors of suffering – stilling of all preparations is bliss
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Dhammarakkhito
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Re: Structuring lay life

Post by Dhammarakkhito »

it feels like that says i am lazy and irresponsible, but i'm not im just poor, unskilled and have a greater debt
"Just as the ocean has a single taste — that of salt — in the same way, this Dhamma-Vinaya has a single taste: that of release."
— Ud 5.5

https://www.facebook.com/noblebuddhadha ... 34/?type=3

http://seeingthroughthenet.net/
https://sites.google.com/site/santipada ... allytaught
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Crazy cloud
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Re: Structuring lay life

Post by Crazy cloud »

Sam Vara wrote: Tue Feb 20, 2018 11:16 pm
SDC wrote: Tue Feb 20, 2018 11:05 pm Do we short ourselves an opportunity to discover Dhamma if we settle for the five precepts instead of eight?

Thoughts?
I'd be permanently shorting myself of Mrs. Vara if I went for the eight. :shock:
... and she might become very happy, and that's a bit .. bit ..!?!... ;)

Joke aside :anjali:

Asked my wife how about me ordaining, and she went still before saying in a calm kind way: Well, I would know that you always be fine then ...

When it comes to op, I really don't see so much obstacles to make a useful structure for developing practice in lay life, and have done it myself, and it works. What I believe is the "real" obstacle, is that laypeople think they can be successful in both worlds.


:)
If you didn't care
What happened to me
And I didn't care for you

We would zig-zag our way
Through the boredom and pain
Occasionally glancing up through the rain

Wondering which of the
Buggers to blame
And watching for pigs on the wing
- Roger Waters
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Re: Structuring lay life

Post by User1249x »

dylanj wrote: Wed Feb 21, 2018 4:41 am
Dhammarakkhito wrote: Wed Feb 21, 2018 4:28 am dylan u told me to just take the dukkaṭa and ordain, why different for u
I don't think I said that, because the dukkaṭa is for the monk ordaining you, not you, & to ask that of them seems not quite right. I believe what I said is that if I were a preceptor I'd take the dukkaṭa myself & ordain you.
If preceptor does not know what is the offense for the preceptor? I don't want it that badly as it is now tbh with you but that is me so i would not transgress in this way nor would i ask the preceptor to ordain if he knew
Last edited by User1249x on Wed Feb 21, 2018 2:03 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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dylanj
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Re: Structuring lay life

Post by dylanj »

Dhammarakkhito wrote: Wed Feb 21, 2018 5:50 am it feels like that says i am lazy and irresponsible, but i'm not im just poor, unskilled and have a greater debt
not what i meant, applied specifically to me because i can barely get myself to work
Born, become, arisen – made, prepared, short-lived
Bonded by decay and death – a nest for sickness, perishable
Produced by seeking nutriment – not fit to take delight in


Departure from this is peaceful – beyond reasoning and enduring
Unborn, unarisen – free from sorrow and stain
Ceasing of all factors of suffering – stilling of all preparations is bliss
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dylanj
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Re: Structuring lay life

Post by dylanj »

User1249x wrote: Wed Feb 21, 2018 6:47 am
dylanj wrote: Wed Feb 21, 2018 4:41 am
Dhammarakkhito wrote: Wed Feb 21, 2018 4:28 am dylan u told me to just take the dukkaṭa and ordain, why different for u
I don't think I said that, because the dukkaṭa is for the monk ordaining you, not you, & to ask that of them seems not quite right. I believe what I said is that if I were a preceptor I'd take the dukkaṭa myself & ordain you.
If preceptor does not know what is the offense for the preceptor? I don't want it that badly as it is now tbh with you but that is me so i would not transgress in this way nor would i ask to the preceptor to ordain if he knew i would not accept ordination probably.
not sure but when you're being ordained, whether you have debt is one of 10 questions so they have to know or you would have to lie
Born, become, arisen – made, prepared, short-lived
Bonded by decay and death – a nest for sickness, perishable
Produced by seeking nutriment – not fit to take delight in


Departure from this is peaceful – beyond reasoning and enduring
Unborn, unarisen – free from sorrow and stain
Ceasing of all factors of suffering – stilling of all preparations is bliss
User1249x
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Re: Structuring lay life

Post by User1249x »

i misread your post sorry, tired already
actually in hindsight i would probably be inclined to accept on account that the ordination is to stand if we confess
User1249x wrote: Wed Feb 21, 2018 6:53 am if he knew i would not accept ordination probably.
binocular
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Re: Structuring lay life

Post by binocular »

SDC wrote: Tue Feb 20, 2018 11:05 pmHow do we best structure lay life to get the most out of our practice? How close is too close when it comes to emulating monastics? Do we short ourselves an opportunity to discover Dhamma if we settle for the five precepts instead of eight?
I don't think it's about "emulating monastics" (although I suppose that some people who are relatively well off could be doing that). Many lay people are, by circumstances of their birth or some specific mental health issues, forced to live a less or more monastic-like life. Living in poverty and having to make do with few material posessions is an obvious example. But also people who have deficits in the executive functioning have to consciously make up for what they lack in comparison to the rest of the population (meaning that they have to consciously do what to others comes naturally, and avoid everything that interferes with their ability to do so (which can mean avoiding sugar, loud music, etc.)), and all that deliberatedness of their actions and selectiveness can then have some resemblance to the way monastics are.
Hic Rhodus, hic salta!
binocular
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Re: Structuring lay life

Post by binocular »

Sam Vara wrote: Tue Feb 20, 2018 11:16 pm
SDC wrote: Tue Feb 20, 2018 11:05 pm Do we short ourselves an opportunity to discover Dhamma if we settle for the five precepts instead of eight?

Thoughts?
I'd be permanently shorting myself of Mrs. Vara if I went for the eight. :shock:
Male Buddhists should put their wedding ring where their mouth is and marry female Buddhists who have at least as much dedication to the Dhamma as they do. That way, they wouldn't be getting the best of both worlds anymore.
Hic Rhodus, hic salta!
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Crazy cloud
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Re: Structuring lay life

Post by Crazy cloud »

If it should it would ... :tongue:
If you didn't care
What happened to me
And I didn't care for you

We would zig-zag our way
Through the boredom and pain
Occasionally glancing up through the rain

Wondering which of the
Buggers to blame
And watching for pigs on the wing
- Roger Waters
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