Flesh desires along with mindfulness

Balancing family life and the Dhamma, in pursuit of a happy lay life.
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Re: Flesh desires along with mindfulness

Post by rightviewftw » Tue Apr 03, 2018 4:29 am

J.Lee.Nelson wrote:
Tue Apr 03, 2018 1:26 am
Thank you for the reassurance! I have to admit that perhaps it's a bit lazy of me to fall back on sex to make my husband feel loved. I wonder what sorts of other things I could introduce into our love palette? Little surprise love-notes here and there? Picking flowers from the garden and leaving them on his home office desk? Hmmm!
Other women if he wants, will free you up to practice.

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Re: Flesh desires along with mindfulness

Post by Crazy cloud » Tue Apr 03, 2018 4:48 am

Ask your wife if it's okay that you love her best friend also!

If she denies you that freedom, have a conversation about what love is to you both, and from the result you can go on

If you didn't care
What happened to me
And I didn't care for you

We would zig-zag our way
Through the boredom and pain
Occasionally glancing up through the rain

Wondering which of the
Buggers to blame
And watching for pigs on the wing
- Roger Waters

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Re: Flesh desires along with mindfulness

Post by rolling_boulder » Fri Jul 27, 2018 5:17 pm

manas wrote:
Fri Feb 02, 2018 2:41 pm
JamesTheGiant wrote:
Tue Jan 30, 2018 5:53 am
In my experience, being mindful of sensations, noises, smells, etc, during sex is quite yucky. Total lust-killer.
If I want "good" sex, I try to focus on the other person, or the passion, or what I feel for her in my mind. Not the actual sensations, as Goenkaji may teach.
I get the same effect with eating. Being mindful while I eat, can result in feeling a bit nauseated, as the food gets all mashed up in the mouth...it can put me off eating. (Which in my case is an issue, because I'm already chronically underweight.)
Both of these sound like subtle manifestations of aversion posing as "mindfulness."
if you cultivate a certain mode of attention and it gives rise to aversion in this way, it is not wise attention, and you should not cultivate that perception.

Mindfulness does not give rise to aversion. It puts aside aversion and greed with ref. to the world.
The world is swept away. It does not endure...
The world is without shelter, without protector...
The world is without ownership. One has to pass on, leaving everything behind...
The world is insufficient, insatiable, a slave to craving.

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