Talks by Brahm about Divorce

Balancing family life and the Dhamma, in pursuit of a happy lay life.
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grasshopper
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Talks by Brahm about Divorce

Post by grasshopper » Thu Jun 22, 2017 1:00 pm

Hi All,

Two of my colleagues, married to each other, are considering separation and divorce. Both of them are good friends of mine. Needless to say, I am really torn! It is the guy who has initiated this. I have had long one-on-one chats with both of them; and of course, I have suggested them to seek professional counseling. From what I can see and understand, neither of them are angry with each other or has betrayed the trust. Just that the guy no longer feels this is the right relationship for him. They have been together for 12 years or so, married for 7-ish.

Are there any good talks, ideally by Ajahn Brahm (but those of others are welcome!) that I could suggest them to listen to? They are not Buddhist but would be willing to listen.

Many thanks in advance.

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ryanM
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Re: Talks by Brahm about Divorce

Post by ryanM » Thu Jun 22, 2017 1:53 pm



I guess I liked this talk enough to remember it.
sabbe dhammā nālaṃ abhinivesāya

"nothing whatsoever should be clung to"

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retrofuturist
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Re: Talks by Brahm about Divorce

Post by retrofuturist » Fri Jun 23, 2017 4:35 am

Greetings,
grasshopper wrote:Are there any good talks, ideally by Ajahn Brahm (but those of others are welcome!) that I could suggest them to listen to? They are not Buddhist but would be willing to listen.
I'd be really wary of meddling in this space. Honestly, if someone has come to this decision, that's a pretty significant step in and of itself, and I'm sure they have their reasons why they're following this path...

Metta,
Paul. :)
"Do not force others, including children, by any means whatsoever, to adopt your views, whether by authority, threat, money, propaganda, or even education." - Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh

"The uprooting of identity is seen by the noble ones as pleasurable; but this contradicts what the whole world sees." (Snp 3.12)

"One discerns wrong view as wrong view, and right view as right view. This is one's right view." (MN 117)

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Mkoll
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Re: Talks by Brahm about Divorce

Post by Mkoll » Fri Jun 23, 2017 4:45 am

While not from Ajahn Brahm or even a talk, On Love by Ajahn Jayasaro is an excellent read for anyone in or interested in romantic relationships, and it's quite short.
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa

grasshopper
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Location: Auckland, New Zealand

Re: Talks by Brahm about Divorce

Post by grasshopper » Fri Jun 23, 2017 12:07 pm

Many thanks for your responses!
I'd be really wary of meddling in this space. Honestly, if someone has come to this decision, that's a pretty significant step in and of itself, and I'm sure they have their reasons why they're following this path...
I am not trying to meddle in it. The girl came to my office crying...and I was torn seeing her like that - completely emotionally devastated! As I know both of them reasonably well, I had to have a chat with them. I am no relationship-guru hence why I suggested them to seek professional counseling.

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Pseudobabble
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Re: Talks by Brahm about Divorce

Post by Pseudobabble » Fri Jun 30, 2017 8:27 am

I'd have to second Retro. There is no reason not to be kind, but it is hard to know what is in other people's minds and hearts, and you can easily make things worse by trying to make them better.

Let people experience the results of their decisions. Beings are heir to their kamma and all that.
"Does Master Gotama have any position at all?"

"A 'position,' Vaccha, is something that a Tathagata has done away with. What a Tathagata sees is this: 'Such is form, such its origination, such its disappearance; such is feeling, such its origination, such its disappearance; such is perception...such are fabrications...such is consciousness, such its origination, such its disappearance.'" - Aggi-Vacchagotta Sutta


'Dust thou art, and unto dust thou shalt return.' - Genesis 3:19

'Some fart freely, some try to hide and silence it. Which one is correct?' - Saegnapha

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