Married to an alcoholic

Balancing family life and the Dhamma, in pursuit of a happy lay life.
kowachka
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2014 1:15 am

Re: Married to an alcoholic

Post by kowachka » Mon Jul 07, 2014 11:26 pm

TheNoBSBuddhist wrote:
kowachka wrote:Thank you everybody for support and help. Just sharing it with you helped me to see a big picture. I know it sounds crazy that I didn't see it before (or didn't want to see and accept it). But situations like that don't happen over night. I am happy to say that I finally opened to my family member, and now I am working on separation plan. I wish my husband well; and if he will need any support I won't turn him back.

Thank you again!!!
Very pleased to know you managed to engage with a family member, on this....

Does your Husband know?
Is he aware of your 'separation plan'....?

Could you clarify this...?
....and if he will need any support I won't turn him back.
No, my husband doesn't know that I talked to my brother. Honestly, I don't know if I should tell him that.

And he is not aware of my separation plan yet. I think it would be smarter if I already had a safe place just because I am not sure about his reaction.

I don't know yet if I will want to stay married, but I hope we'll stay friends. I do care about him but I know that I have to get out of this chaos. I hope he'll get a professional help and I'll be more that happy to give him support. Wise, not idiot compassion.

Ps. I apologize if my writing sometimes doesn't make any spence, English is not my native language.

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robdog
Posts: 151
Joined: Thu Oct 24, 2013 6:41 pm
Location: Staffordshire, UK

Re: Married to an alcoholic

Post by robdog » Tue Jul 08, 2014 7:44 am

No, my husband doesn't know that I talked to my brother. Honestly, I don't know if I should tell him that.

And he is not aware of my separation plan yet. I think it would be smarter if I already had a safe place just because I am not sure about his reaction.

I don't know yet if I will want to stay married, but I hope we'll stay friends. I do care about him but I know that I have to get out of this chaos. I hope he'll get a professional help and I'll be more that happy to give him support. Wise, not idiot compassion.

Ps. I apologize if my writing sometimes doesn't make any spence, English is not my native language.[/quote]



Sounds like a good plan of action to me. You have to at some stage put yourself first, especially if you do not feel safe around him. I wish you all the very best and i also wish your husband all the best and i hope he can overcome his demons.

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TheNoBSBuddhist
Posts: 1614
Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2014 4:06 pm
Location: Loch Lomond, via the High AND Low road....

Re: Married to an alcoholic

Post by TheNoBSBuddhist » Tue Jul 08, 2014 8:00 am

kowachka wrote: No, my husband doesn't know that I talked to my brother. Honestly, I don't know if I should tell him that.
No. For the present, you are right to keep this to yourself.
And he is not aware of my separation plan yet. I think it would be smarter if I already had a safe place just because I am not sure about his reaction.
Very smart. you are doing precisely the right thing: Thinking of your well-being and putting yourself first.
I don't know yet if I will want to stay married, but I hope we'll stay friends. I do care about him but I know that I have to get out of this chaos. I hope he'll get a professional help and I'll be more that happy to give him support. Wise, not idiot compassion.
Now you're talking!
DO contact Al-Anon, as well. They support many many people in your situation; you will speak to many others who have 'been there' and can offer you precisely everything you need to help yourself - and him - with Wisdom.
Ps. I apologize if my writing sometimes doesn't make any spence, English is not my native language.
There is nothing whatsoever incorrect with your language. It was my own understanding I wanted to clarify.
Your use of language has defined your dilemma, and brought you to us.
How wonderful!

:hug:

Keep in touch - let us know how things go, and be brave.
Have faith in the Courage of your convictions, and lean on people. They will help you.

:smile:
:namaste:

You will not be punished FOR your 'emotions'; you will be punished BY your 'emotions'.



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Pay attention, simplify, and (Meditation instruction in a nutshell) "Mind - the Gap."
‘Absit invidia verbo’ - may ill-will be absent from the word. And mindful of that, if I don't respond, this may be why....

kowachka
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2014 1:15 am

Re: Married to an alcoholic

Post by kowachka » Wed Jul 09, 2014 10:29 pm

Thank you! I defiantly will be keeping in touch. I am sure ill be around reading the forum.

Thank you and take care!

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