Husband and responsibility

Balancing family life and the Dhamma, in pursuit of a happy lay life.
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D1W1
Posts: 466
Joined: Sat May 30, 2015 5:52 am

Husband and responsibility

Post by D1W1 » Wed May 15, 2019 3:22 am

Hi guys,

Traditionally, it's believed that a husband has to fulfill all household needs and/or daily expenses. I can find nothing about this in sigalovada sutta or other sutta. In today's world, things are different, life expects more from us. It's more common to see both husbands and wives are the breadwinners in the house than in the old days.

Therefore, can we assume a husband that is not a sole breadwinner in a house/family does not fulfill his responsibility as a husband? We know Buddha did not live in modern world but we practice Buddhism somehow.

Any thoughts will be appreciated.

Edit: typography

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SDC
Posts: 4896
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2009 11:08 pm

Re: Husband and responsibility

Post by SDC » Wed May 15, 2019 4:35 pm

Context is everything.

It would not have made much sense for the Buddha to describe how to balance duties of any other household structure other than the one that was in place at that time. Let's not forget, he was not trying to "change the world", he was offering householders the best way to practice then and there.

If you take that general intention to bring balance to whatever structure you have, then you can apply that at any point in history. If time brings about changes in the family unit then the best thing a household practitioner can do is find a balance of duties within that unit, whatever it is. Otherwise people would be fighting to return conditions to that of Northern India - to no avail - and have no time to practice.

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DooDoot
Posts: 5588
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Re: Husband and responsibility

Post by DooDoot » Wed May 15, 2019 9:38 pm

D1W1 wrote:
Wed May 15, 2019 3:22 am
Traditionally, it's believed that a husband has to fulfill all household needs and/or daily expenses. I can find nothing about this in sigalovada sutta or other sutta.
Sigalovada Sutta
In five ways, young householder, should a wife as the West be ministered to by a husband:

(i) by being courteous to her,
(ii) by not despising her,
(iii) by being faithful to her,
(iv) by handing over authority to her,
(v) by providing her with adornments.

The wife thus ministered to as the West by her husband shows her compassion to her husband in five ways:

(i) she performs her duties well,
(ii) she is hospitable to relations and attendants
(iii) she is faithful,
(iv) she protects what he brings,
(v) she is skilled and industrious in discharging her duties.

https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .nara.html
:candle:
D1W1 wrote:
Wed May 15, 2019 3:22 am
In today's world, things are different, life expects more from us. It's more common to see both husbands and wives are the breadwinners in the house than in the old days.
Yes. Corporate social engineering for the growth of consumerism & finance industry profit.
D1W1 wrote:
Wed May 15, 2019 3:22 am
Therefore, can we assume a husband that is not a sole breadwinner in a house/family does not fulfill his responsibility as a husband?
No. Worldly life is difficult, economically. However, if husband & wife have children, young children should probably should be looked after properly. In Buddha's time, extended family, such as aunties & grandparents could help bring up the children.

:smile:
There is always an official executioner. If you try to take his place, It is like trying to be a master carpenter and cutting wood. If you try to cut wood like a master carpenter, you will only hurt your hand.

https://soundcloud.com/doodoot/paticcasamuppada
https://soundcloud.com/doodoot/anapanasati

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