Schools are teaching kids empathy and self-control.

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binocular
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Re: Schools are teaching kids empathy and self-control.

Post by binocular » Wed Mar 07, 2018 4:42 pm

chownah wrote:
Tue Mar 06, 2018 2:49 pm
I think that there are some parent nowadays who don't do a good job teaching empathy and self control. If schools do not include activities which can help to instill these then how will the children learn them?
In psychotherapy, through self-help books, workshops, seminars etc. It's a huge industry industry already.

If parents aren't teaching their children empathy and self-control, chances are it's because they themselves are lacking in this regard. People can't teach what they themselves don't have.
Every person we save is one less zombie to fight. -- World War Z

befriend
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Re: Schools are teaching kids empathy and self-control.

Post by befriend » Wed Mar 07, 2018 5:32 pm

Do you remember elementary school? how can this be a bad thing? Cyber bullying and bullying and drug use are what spurred this brahma Viharas in the classroom. Practicing compassion is never dangerous. Kids used to make fun of my big ears and I remember Indian sunburns head locks and kids punching each other in the face, I was kicked in the shins. That doesn't happen to me anymore because people learned empathy and concord. Kids need as much empathy as they can get they can be very mean. Seeing as how they don't know anything about how the world functions or where true happiness comes from. It's something to celebrate.
Take care of mindfulness and mindfulness will take care of you.

chownah
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Re: Schools are teaching kids empathy and self-control.

Post by chownah » Thu Mar 08, 2018 2:23 am

binocular wrote:
Wed Mar 07, 2018 4:42 pm
chownah wrote:
Tue Mar 06, 2018 2:49 pm
I think that there are some parent nowadays who don't do a good job teaching empathy and self control. If schools do not include activities which can help to instill these then how will the children learn them?
In psychotherapy, through self-help books, workshops, seminars etc. It's a huge industry industry already.

If parents aren't teaching their children empathy and self-control, chances are it's because they themselves are lacking in this regard. People can't teach what they themselves don't have.
Who will see that a child needs professional help with these issues if not the school or parents? Self-help books, workshops, seminars etc. are all things that adults do after they already have entrenched attitudes.......seems to me that an earlier exposure to experiences and activities which engender better attitudes would be more effective than waiting......so if not the parents or the school then who?
chownah

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Pseudobabble
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Re: Schools are teaching kids empathy and self-control.

Post by Pseudobabble » Thu Mar 08, 2018 6:39 am

chownah wrote:
Thu Mar 08, 2018 2:23 am
......so if not the parents or the school then who?
Empathy and self control aren't things you learn from pamphlets and lectures produced by committees, you learn them through interaction and observation of other humans, so if they aren't going to learn from the parents, children could learn them from:

- Aunts
- Uncles
- Cousins
- Brothers
- Sisters
- Church/Temple Friends
- School Friends
- Family Friends
- TV/Movies
- Books
- People in the street

It's not like there's a deficit of learning material, though parental example and teaching would be by far the quickest and most effective.
"Does Master Gotama have any position at all?"

"A 'position,' Vaccha, is something that a Tathagata has done away with. What a Tathagata sees is this: 'Such is form, such its origination, such its disappearance; such is feeling, such its origination, such its disappearance; such is perception...such are fabrications...such is consciousness, such its origination, such its disappearance.'" - Aggi-Vacchagotta Sutta


'Dust thou art, and unto dust thou shalt return.' - Genesis 3:19

'Some fart freely, some try to hide and silence it. Which one is correct?' - Saegnapha

binocular
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Re: Schools are teaching kids empathy and self-control.

Post by binocular » Thu Mar 08, 2018 7:39 am

chownah wrote:
Thu Mar 08, 2018 2:23 am
Who will see that a child needs professional help with these issues if not the school or parents?
And they do. That's why they have the school psychologist, social worker etc.
Self-help books, workshops, seminars etc. are all things that adults do after they already have entrenched attitudes.......
No, there's actually a lot of books specifically for children about these topics, eg.
https://www.amazon.com/Later-Procrastin ... rastinator
https://www.amazon.com/Dude-Thats-Rude- ... rastinator
click for the suggested books below for more examples. On the back of each such book, there is a specification for which age the book is intended for (e.g. ages 8-13). Such books are not rarely designed for self-study by the child (they have larger letters and lots of pictures and a writing style adapted to children).

I suggest you visit the children's and youth literature section of your public library. I don't know about Thailand, but here, libraries (and librarians) are quite important for children and youths. Many things aren't talked about in school or at home, but there probably are books written about them specifically for children and youths to read. Anything from how to deal with bullies to drug use and of course about sex.
seems to me that an earlier exposure to experiences and activities which engender better attitudes would be more effective than waiting......so if not the parents or the school then who?
My skepticism is specifically about teaching emotional skills in school. Schools are some of the most dangerous places that the child goes to on a regular basis; add to this the pressure to have good grades. I think that in such environments, one can learn things like math or chemistry, but I think that schools are not appropriate places for learning things that require self-reflection. To expect children and youths to psychologically open up to people who could or who already bully them, beat them, or who can pretty much ruin their lives by giving them bad grades -- I think that's just a recipe for the children to become proficient in at least denial as a psychological self-defense mechanism.
Every person we save is one less zombie to fight. -- World War Z

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Pseudobabble
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Re: Schools are teaching kids empathy and self-control.

Post by Pseudobabble » Thu Mar 08, 2018 9:31 am

binocular wrote:
Thu Mar 08, 2018 7:39 am
My skepticism is specifically about teaching emotional skills in school. Schools are some of the most dangerous places that the child goes to on a regular basis; add to this the pressure to have good grades. I think that in such environments, one can learn things like math or chemistry, but I think that schools are not appropriate places for learning things that require self-reflection. To expect children and youths to psychologically open up to people who could or who already bully them, beat them, or who can pretty much ruin their lives by giving them bad grades -- I think that's just a recipe for the children to become proficient in at least denial as a psychological self-defense mechanism.
:goodpost:
"Does Master Gotama have any position at all?"

"A 'position,' Vaccha, is something that a Tathagata has done away with. What a Tathagata sees is this: 'Such is form, such its origination, such its disappearance; such is feeling, such its origination, such its disappearance; such is perception...such are fabrications...such is consciousness, such its origination, such its disappearance.'" - Aggi-Vacchagotta Sutta


'Dust thou art, and unto dust thou shalt return.' - Genesis 3:19

'Some fart freely, some try to hide and silence it. Which one is correct?' - Saegnapha

chownah
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Re: Schools are teaching kids empathy and self-control.

Post by chownah » Sun Mar 11, 2018 2:05 am

Pseudobabble wrote:
Wed Mar 07, 2018 12:42 pm

Why don't you tell us about all the large organisations you have experience of, whose 'cultural values' are authentically and genuinely believed in and upheld by the employees/members of those organisations?
All executives at Johnson & Johnson are annually measured against a 75-year-old essay
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/executiv ... 00701.html
chownah

manas
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Re: Schools are teaching kids empathy and self-control.

Post by manas » Tue Mar 13, 2018 10:24 pm

chownah wrote:
Wed Mar 07, 2018 12:35 pm
chownah wrote:
Tue Mar 06, 2018 2:49 pm
manas wrote:
Tue Mar 06, 2018 2:13 pm
That schools feel they have to undertake this task, doesn't say much for the quality of a lot of parenting nowadays. Empathy doesn't need to be 'taught' as a subject in school, if it is lived and practically demonstrated by the parents from the day a child is born, through his/her childhood and adolescence. It sounds well-intentioned, but seems to be another example of the State taking over what is really a parental role.
I think that there are some parent nowadays who don't do a good job teaching empathy and self control. If schools do not include activities which can help to instill these then how will the children learn them?
chownah
So far no one has answered my question.
chownah
Sorry I didn't answer, I think my very poor eyesight means I can miss such things, also I've had a difficult week. I do see your point, though. I just feel disappointed with the direction that many Western societies are heading, into a sort of 'Brave New World' where the State (and Corporations, the Mass Media, Social Media, etc) seem to be INTRUDING way too much on childrens' lives, often to their detriment. Just look at what social media, especially facebook, has done to an entire generation; low attention span, attracted to the sound-byte, the quick thrill, then move on to the next , and wanting to be 'liked' for their 'virtual selves', being TAUGHT by facebook on how to become narcissistic and insecure...I dislike that notion that the Internet seems to be raising many kids, I hope it isn't true (it isn't in my case) but many parents seem to just give in to this. Parents need to actively resist. Go for walks in the forest with the kids, explore the beauty of Nature, leave the stupid smartphones at home. Life doesn't need to be incessantly recorded and posted online. Learn to simply be, experience, live. I spent a lot of time with my children, playing, exploring, interacting. Neither of them are social media zombies.
Last edited by manas on Tue Mar 13, 2018 10:54 pm, edited 5 times in total.

manas
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Re: Schools are teaching kids empathy and self-control.

Post by manas » Tue Mar 13, 2018 10:38 pm

No_Mind wrote:
Tue Mar 06, 2018 3:05 pm
In an era when a PS4 acts as a nanny and instead of reading books kids play Half-Life .. what is to be expected?

:namaste:
Don't worry, after their confused, socially & emotionally deprived childhoods, they can get therapy as adults, and spend many years in recovery from their crappy unbringing. Their loss, is the phychology profession's gain.

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Re: Schools are teaching kids empathy and self-control.

Post by Dinsdale » Wed Mar 14, 2018 9:44 am

manas wrote:
Tue Mar 13, 2018 10:38 pm
Don't worry, after their confused, socially & emotionally deprived childhoods, they can get therapy as adults, and spend many years in recovery from their crappy unbringing. Their loss, is the phychology profession's gain.
And in some cases, the gain of all those who work in the criminal justice system.
Buddha save me from new-agers!

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