Feminism for men

A place to bring a contemplative / Dharmic perspective and opinions to current events and politics.
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lyndon taylor
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Re: Feminism for men

Post by lyndon taylor » Tue Jan 02, 2018 11:00 am

Turmeric wrote:
Tue Jan 02, 2018 10:54 am
lyndon taylor wrote:
Tue Jan 02, 2018 10:12 am
Even if there are a lot of men raped in Prison, the rapists are always men, when's the last time you heard of a woman rapist, not that they don't exist, but seriously!!
"Myra Hindley and Ian Brady were responsible for the “Moors murders” occurring in the Manchester area of Britain in the mid 1960’s. Together these two monsters were responsible for the kidnapping, sexual abuse, torture and murder of three children under the age of twelve and two teenagers, aged 16 and 17. A key found in Myra’s possession led to incriminating evidence stored at a left-luggage depot at Manchester Central Station. The evidence included a tape recording of one of the murder victims screaming as Hindley and Brady raped and tortured her."
So you have to go back to the 60s to find a female rapist??
18 years ago I made one of the most important decisions of my life and entered a local Cambodian Buddhist Temple as a temple boy and, for only 3 weeks, an actual Therevada Buddhist monk. I am not a scholar, great meditator, or authority on Buddhism, but Buddhism is something I love from the Bottom of my heart. It has taught me sobriety, morality, peace, and very importantly that my suffering is optional, and doesn't have to run my life. I hope to give back what little I can to the Buddhist community, sincerely former monk John

http://trickleupeconomictheory.blogspot.com/

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manas
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Re: Feminism for men

Post by manas » Tue Jan 02, 2018 4:17 pm

Rather than encouraging men to take up the feminist mantle, how about, let's get men educated about how to father their sons better, so they can better model respectful behaviors towards women and girls - in other words, not remain overgrown boys, but grow into true men of integrity?

Here's a great book that deals with this: https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Boys-Thi ... 1607746026

:anjali:
Last edited by manas on Tue Jan 02, 2018 4:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Knowing this body is like a clay jar,
securing this mind like a fort,
attack Mara with the spear of discernment,
then guard what's won without settling there,
without laying claim.

- Dhp 40

Justsit
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Re: Feminism for men

Post by Justsit » Tue Jan 02, 2018 4:25 pm

manas wrote:
Tue Jan 02, 2018 4:17 pm
Rather than encouraging men to take up the feminist mantle, how about, let's get men educated about how to father their sons better, so they can better model respectful behaviors towards women and girls - in other words, not remain overgrown boys, but grow into true men of integrity?

Here's a great book that deals with this.
:goodpost:

Do you have info on the book you mentioned?

ETA Ah, link just appeared, thanks.

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manas
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Re: Feminism for men

Post by manas » Tue Jan 02, 2018 4:38 pm

Justsit wrote:
Tue Jan 02, 2018 4:25 pm
manas wrote:
Tue Jan 02, 2018 4:17 pm
Rather than encouraging men to take up the feminist mantle, how about, let's get men educated about how to father their sons better, so they can better model respectful behaviors towards women and girls - in other words, not remain overgrown boys, but grow into true men of integrity?

Here's a great book that deals with this.
:goodpost:

Do you have info on the book you mentioned?

ETA Ah, link just appeared, thanks.
No, but I read another book by this author entitled 'Manhood', which I found most helpful and informative, and upon this basis, I'd say his reputation for being able to help men better themselves, is deserved. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/661283.Manhood

My point, and I suspect Biddulph would concur, is that the problem isn't men, it's a lack of true manhood. I'll leave it at that, and simply recommend folks give it a try.

:anjali:
Knowing this body is like a clay jar,
securing this mind like a fort,
attack Mara with the spear of discernment,
then guard what's won without settling there,
without laying claim.

- Dhp 40

befriend
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Re: Feminism for men

Post by befriend » Tue Jan 02, 2018 5:38 pm

My late teacher Cynthia thatcher was a profoundly patient and loving Dhamma teacher who wrote an abhidhammic book based on the Bahiya sutta called just seeing. She was a student of Ajahn sobin s namto and helped clear up points on the Dhamma for me I emailed her almost everyday for about three years she taught me even when she had an illness. She was a woman but said even if there was no nibbana she still would practice it because it has helped her so much. Google dipa ma if you want a crash back to reality of the potential for Dhamma propagation and progress from a lay woman whom achieved at least the first two stages of sainthood without ordaining. Munindra ji instructed her in Mahasi style vipassana and in 5 days she attained stream entry.
Take care of mindfulness and mindfulness will take care of you.

Turmeric
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Re: Feminism for men

Post by Turmeric » Tue Jan 02, 2018 11:56 pm

manas wrote:
Tue Jan 02, 2018 4:17 pm
Rather than encouraging men to take up the feminist mantle, how about, let's get men educated about how to father their sons better, so they can better model respectful behaviors towards women and girls - in other words, not remain overgrown boys, but grow into true men of integrity?

Here's a great book that deals with this: https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Boys-Thi ... 1607746026

:anjali:
Be prepared to also teach them why they keep getting friend-zoned, and walked all over, because their fathers taught them to pander to women, and act weird. It's a girl that picks her nose and farts, not an extraterrestrial.

Seriously though, what we really need to teach people is to not be like the feminist in this video below.

Gender isn't real, but my gender that doesn't actually exist is being oppressed by the other gender that doesn't actually exist - Feminism.


Justsit
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Re: Feminism for men

Post by Justsit » Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:55 am

Turmeric wrote:
Tue Jan 02, 2018 11:56 pm
Be prepared to also teach them why they keep getting friend-zoned, and walked all over, because their fathers taught them to pander to women, and act weird.
Then perhaps the fathers need to step up and start doing a better job, as the author in books Manas referred to elucidates.

Women want to be treated with courtesy and respect, the same as men do. This isn't really rocket science. Treat others the way you want to be treated; if others don't do the same in return, move on.

Turmeric
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Re: Feminism for men

Post by Turmeric » Wed Jan 03, 2018 1:03 am

Justsit wrote:
Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:55 am
Turmeric wrote:
Tue Jan 02, 2018 11:56 pm
Be prepared to also teach them why they keep getting friend-zoned, and walked all over, because their fathers taught them to pander to women, and act weird.
Then perhaps the fathers need to step up and start doing a better job, as the author in books Manas referred to elucidates.

Women want to be treated with courtesy and respect, the same as men do. This isn't really rocket science. Treat others the way you want to be treated; if others don't do the same in return, move on.
You missed the point of my post. If anyone acts like the author of that book suggests, they will definitely stay a virgin forever.

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DooDoot
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Re: Feminism for men

Post by DooDoot » Wed Jan 03, 2018 1:50 am

Turmeric wrote:
Tue Jan 02, 2018 11:56 pm
Be prepared to also teach them why they keep getting friend-zoned, and walked all over, because their fathers taught them to pander to women, and act weird. It's a girl that picks her nose and farts, not an extraterrestrial.
What is it that you actually want from women & how do these wants towards women relate to Buddhist conduct? Thanks
In popular culture, the friend zone is a situation in which one member of a friendship wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. It is generally considered to be an undesirable situation for the rejected person.

Turmeric
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Re: Feminism for men

Post by Turmeric » Wed Jan 03, 2018 2:20 am

DooDoot wrote:
Wed Jan 03, 2018 1:50 am
Turmeric wrote:
Tue Jan 02, 2018 11:56 pm
Be prepared to also teach them why they keep getting friend-zoned, and walked all over, because their fathers taught them to pander to women, and act weird. It's a girl that picks her nose and farts, not an extraterrestrial.
What is it that you actually want from women & how do these wants towards women relate to Buddhist conduct? Thanks
In popular culture, the friend zone is a situation in which one member of a friendship wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. It is generally considered to be an undesirable situation for the rejected person.

The same wants that everyone else has, men and women both. To get laid. But this isn't about me. The subject was about feminism, then branched off into raising boys. Basically though, the point is, women aren't oppressed in western society, feminists are just complainers, don't turn your sons into pandering white knights, and most importantly, don't be a male feminist.

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DooDoot
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Re: Feminism for men

Post by DooDoot » Wed Jan 03, 2018 4:09 am

Turmeric wrote:
Wed Jan 03, 2018 2:20 am
...women aren't oppressed in western society, feminists are just complainers... don't be a male feminist.
OK. I suppose I can agree with the above (but not the other bits). :roll:

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Dhammanando
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Re: Feminism for men

Post by Dhammanando » Wed Jan 03, 2018 6:39 am

Turmeric wrote:
Wed Jan 03, 2018 1:03 am
Be prepared to also teach them why they keep getting friend-zoned, and walked all over, because their fathers taught them to pander to women, and act weird.
What in particular in Biddulph's child-rearing advice would amount to teaching a boy to pander to women and to act weird?
Turmeric wrote:
Wed Jan 03, 2018 1:03 am
You missed the point of my post. If anyone acts like the author of that book suggests, they will definitely stay a virgin forever.
Same question: what learned behaviours would result in a Biddulph-reared boy "definitely stay[ing] a virgin for ever"?

Turmeric
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Re: Feminism for men

Post by Turmeric » Wed Jan 03, 2018 7:45 am

Dhammanando wrote:
Wed Jan 03, 2018 6:39 am
Turmeric wrote:
Wed Jan 03, 2018 1:03 am
Be prepared to also teach them why they keep getting friend-zoned, and walked all over, because their fathers taught them to pander to women, and act weird.
What in particular in Biddulph's child-rearing advice would amount to teaching a boy to pander to women and to act weird?
Turmeric wrote:
Wed Jan 03, 2018 1:03 am
You missed the point of my post. If anyone acts like the author of that book suggests, they will definitely stay a virgin forever.
Same question: what learned behaviours would result in a Biddulph-reared boy "definitely stay[ing] a virgin for ever"?
The parts in chapter 7 where he basically is encouraging teaching kids to be white knights, by calling out the cat callers in class. We have enough heroes. It's gotten to the point where you can be in a club chatting up a girl, then one of these dudes walks up, says hey sir, she's a nice girl, don't be a PLAYBOY! You say ok bro lol, walk away, and he instantly starts macking on the girl. It's so cringe. Then he gets rejected, goes home, and complains about women on his facebook page. These disgruntled men are everywhere, having a hard time, because what the media, their parents, and society taught them, fails in field. This video is a perfect example of what happens to white knights in the real world when they try to pull something like what the psychologist in that book is recommending. Don't teach boys to be like this.



There's another part in that chapter where he complains about women being portrayed as eye candy and sex objects in magazines. Mannnnn, I wouldn't be caught dead saying something like that to a girl. It's fake, not authentic, and it's going to make the girl shut off her sexuality to you, because she feels like you're going to judge her. She likes to look at men as eye candy, and we like to look at them as eye candy. When you are open about it, she will be open about it too.

But anyways. There are some good things in the book, and some things I don't like. It's better than a lot of the stuff out there at least.

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lyndon taylor
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Re: Feminism for men

Post by lyndon taylor » Wed Jan 03, 2018 8:50 am

So you incorporate Buddhism into your pick up routine for women???
18 years ago I made one of the most important decisions of my life and entered a local Cambodian Buddhist Temple as a temple boy and, for only 3 weeks, an actual Therevada Buddhist monk. I am not a scholar, great meditator, or authority on Buddhism, but Buddhism is something I love from the Bottom of my heart. It has taught me sobriety, morality, peace, and very importantly that my suffering is optional, and doesn't have to run my life. I hope to give back what little I can to the Buddhist community, sincerely former monk John

http://trickleupeconomictheory.blogspot.com/

binocular
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Re: Feminism for men

Post by binocular » Wed Jan 03, 2018 9:39 am

Turmeric wrote:
Wed Jan 03, 2018 1:03 am
You missed the point of my post. If anyone acts like the author of that book suggests, they will definitely stay a virgin forever.
I think such books are not to be taken literally. I think many such books are giving a socially palatable discourse, but the whole point is to be able to read between the lines, and learn to virtue-signal.

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