You mention heart and colors, chakras, etc. When i start i don't have anything, no visuals no senses just black sitting and if i read instructions and should have to go and sit in a meditation position then i come sarcastic, dry and aware of me doing something no different than idk piling hay on a grass field.
You mentioned you broke mentally and discovered this method of yours,
That's what it is what i search. I need also to break mentally otherwise you are selling fishes instead of teaching how to fish. Anyone who could break mentally too can learn his/her own system.
Market is flooded, few wants to have sensations from connections or contact derived cultivation, like letting touch body inappropriately and then cultivating the feeligns what comes out of it to learn these feelings. Idk like randomly during an official talk i decide to pull down my pants(not dare to do it so what i have to do to muster enough courage override shame? etc), these kind of sensations i cultivate it lives up the name 'sensations'.
In short contact derived sensations, not what i am already contacted/prepared/had!
Anxiety comes out if i need to meet someone who i haven't seen a long time, i can't get away with the anxiety that easy, im noob so i actually need go through the events and gain intelligence and awareness.
What i want to point out is that there is a world layer its thicker than individual or solo practice in your own familiar secure spaces waht is for reflection mostly after fuking up a important life deciding meeting.
*not sure how to do practice without being initiated to said practice.