I was reading Ajahns Pasanno and Amaro's book Broad View, Boundless Heart and came across this passage which struck me (emphasized at bottom). I see this tendency in myself and others, and these words are a helpful reminder of the sequential order of development.
A Foundation for One’s Practice
Cultivating the brahmaviharas means bringing these qualities (metta,
karuna, mudita, and upekkha) into consciousness. It is like exercising
muscles that have not been used. As you develop these qualities, you have
to consider whether your mind is getting clearer or more confused.The
correct practice of the brahmaviharas always leads to increased clarity
and joy. That is the nature of these qualities of mind.
The whole point of the Buddha’s teachings is to cultivate mental
qualities in order to gain happiness of mind. And the brahmaviharas—a
prime source for creating happiness—can thus lay the foundation for the
entire practice. Most of the terms the Buddha uses regarding the developing
of practice are those that describe states of well being.We see this
in a sequence he sets out to illustrate the development of the mind.
Anavajjasukha is the state of mind resulting from abiding by the
moral precepts—the happiness of blamelessness or harmlessness, the
happiness of non-remorse.
Abhyasekhasukha is the happiness that ensues from training in sense
restraint—the composure one finds when one is not bent on gratification
or excitement of the senses.
Pamojja means the delight that results from being free of the five hindrances
that hinder meditation (sensual desire, ill will, sleepiness or
drowsiness, restlessness, and skeptical doubt). Pamojja also refers to the
happiness that meditative states of tranquility can bring—an unalloyed
kind of happiness. It also includes the delight that arises from skilful
reflection on the true nature of things. Pamojja leads to piti (joy). Piti
leads to passadhi (the state of tranquility).When there is tranquility, sukha
(happiness) arises, and because of sukha, samadhi arises. Samadhi is the
firm meditative state of mind.The Buddha says in many discourses that
the happy mind is easily concentrated.
We see that happiness brings about samadhi, whereas usually we approach
it the other way round.We often think, “If only I could get my
meditation together, then I would be happy,”whereas it should be:“How
do I gain true happiness so that my heart could be at ease?” It is a very
important truth that the Buddha points to in this sequence of shades of
happiness culminating in samadhi.