Page 5 of 5

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 3:30 am
by Guy
To be fair, it says more than just the fact that they like the way each other look. It points out that there is nothing more distracting and captivating. Which is good to know. If you can lessen sexual craving, or cut it off completely, then you've achieved a great deal.

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 4:09 am
by BubbaBuddhist
Maybe it's just me, but I think this is pretty obvious. Not one of Lord Buddha's more profound observations. Men and women (and women/women and men/men) have been ferociously attracted to each other forever. it's a no-brainer. This is one of those things you observe yourself. Hence the problems the posters are having controlling their desires to click-and-spank. Did you really need to read this in a book? I still say, unplug the computer and go for a walk. No need to quote suttas. Walk away. Get a hobby. Do something practical. Stop talking about it and take positive action. :soap:

J

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 4:19 am
by Ben
Hi Jon,
Bubbabuddhist wrote:Maybe it's just me, but I think this is pretty obvious. Not one of Lord Buddha's more profound observations. Men and women (and women/women and men/men) have been ferociously attracted to each other forever. it's a no-brainer. This is one of those things you observe yourself. Hence the problems the posters are having controlling their desires to click-and-spank. Did you really need to read this in a book? I still say, unplug the computer and go for a walk. No need to quote suttas. Walk away. Get a hobby. Do something practical. Stop talking about it and take positive action. :soap:

J
And yes, to talk about masturbation is a form of masturbation in itself.
But for many of us, its a necessary first step - to talk openly about something that one has some difficulty managing.
Your suggestion of getting a hobby, going for a walk or doing some positive action is excellent. Personally, I've found a good way to 'handle' (excuse the pun) my lust is to meditate.
kind regards

Ben

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 4:41 am
by ground
Sensual pleasures and dukkha go hand in hand. I think one has to meditate this over and over again until one feels this truth from the depth of one's heart. This is the antidot to any kind of sensual addiction. One has to feel disgust with one's ignorant habits that caused one's wandering in samsara from beginningless time and firmly decide "No. I am going to stop that now. This life is the most precious and very rare opportunity. If I am not going to stop that now this misery will be going on for ever and ever". The only and most excellent supports to stop ignorant habits are the three juwels.

Kind regards

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 6:39 pm
by Aloka
The only and most excellent supports to stop ignorant habits are the three juwels.
....and hands that just firmly unplug the computer or TV rather than fondle genitals, might also be a good start. :P



.

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 7:15 pm
by ground
Aloka wrote:
The only and most excellent supports to stop ignorant habits are the three juwels.
....and hands that just firmly unplug the computer or TV rather than fondle genitals, might also be a good start. :P



.
Without knowing "why" and without having cultivated the faith of conviction that's probably pretty useless, i.e. bound to fail in all cases of sensual addiction.

Kind regards

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 9:36 pm
by Aloka
.

Is it ? Well how is it that I know guys who are atheists who've given up watching porn just because they see it for what it is.


.

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 2:18 am
by ground
Aloka wrote:.

Is it ? Well how is it that I know guys who are atheists who've given up watching porn just because they see it for what it is.


.
I do not understand why you are referring to "atheists" in this context.
Anyway, what do they think it is?

Kind regards

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 3:38 am
by Vepacitta
Well, whenever you boys are having a bout with the temptation to engage in onanism - just think of the words in my avatar (too small to read in the pic), which are:

"Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten ... so please ... think of the kittens!"

(Maybe that poster should be hung in every serious practitioner's bedroom :thinking: )

A public service message from Mt. Meru,

V.

NB - On a more serious note - for a monk or nun - porn or onanism (I like that word better) is a no-no. As for a lay-person - I guess it depends. The best porn is really inside one's own head - imo - and as to onanism - well - stream enterers can enjoy sensual pleasures - it's the other 3 levels that abstain - no pun intended - but yes - truly abstain from all sensual lusts. I think there's a balance here for us 'regular' folk is my point - another pun comes to mind here but I will forbear.

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 4:34 am
by Aloka
TMingyur wrote:
I do not understand why you are referring to "atheists" in this context.
Anyway, what do they think it is?
I meant men who don't have any religious beliefs/are not Buddhists.

They think that the porn industry is very corrupt and riddled with crime and drugs. They realise that the sex isn't spontaneous and that it's staged with a cameraman and a director and that the participants get paid and so on and so forth.

Quite frankly I don't understand why this subject gets so much prominence in a Buddhist group....I guess it's probably because most of you are men - and many men have little control over their sexual lust.


Kind wishes,

Aloka :)

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 4:52 am
by ground
Aloka wrote:
TMingyur wrote:
I do not understand why you are referring to "atheists" in this context.
Anyway, what do they think it is?
I meant men who don't have any religious beliefs/are not Buddhists.

They think that the porn industry is very corrupt and riddled with crime and drugs. They realise that the sex isn't spontaneous and that it's staged with a cameraman and a director and that the participants get paid and so on and so forth.
They may be right with their assessment. However this will not lead them to liberation. Why? Because they may have reasons to abstain from this specific sensual pleasure but not do so in other cases of sensual pleasures. And this is the context here: Sensual addiction and dukkha. This topic here is just one example.

Aloka wrote: Quite frankly I don't understand why this subject gets so much prominence in a Buddhist group....I guess it's probably because most of you are men - and many men have little control over their sexual lust.
You may be right as to the karmic effects manifesting in human beings of masculine gender. But this exactly is good reason for this prominence ... and one should not forget that it is exemplary ... "just" examplary ...

Hit by even a small poisoned arrow the poison spreads in the whole body!

Kind regards

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 4:57 am
by beeblebrox
Aloka wrote:Quite frankly I don't understand why this subject gets so much prominence in a Buddhist group....I guess it's probably because most of you are men - and many men have little control over their sexual lust.
Obviously many feel like it's a problem. They're being honest with themselves. (Isn't that a part of practice?) They're sincere about investigating this issue... so that they can resolve it for themselves. What's so hard to understand?

If it's not relevant to your own practice... and if you don't have any issues with it... then why make these posts at all? Some of your comments (like above) aren't really helpful.

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 9:46 am
by Aloka
.

Well considering I made a silly harmless joke : "Handcuffs and whips at dawn ?" to someone who in a discussion was starting to harass me rather like the Spanish Inquisition, ...who then on reading that, advised me: ''This is a family site'' ....I'm wondering if so much talk about porn addiction is good for the family either ?

Some of your comments (like above) aren't really helpful.

Oh please, Beeblebox,... a doubled up quote with Tenzin there... maybe its all unnecessarily heavy and you're taking things way too seriously ? - but hey, why not gang up on me now, with outrage about me being 'unhelpful' to you, guys?

Don't worry, I'll leave you to it ! :D

Bye for now.... I sincerely hope you all achieve your aims in life. :meditate:

.

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 10:11 am
by bodom
I think this thread has run its course.

:anjali: