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about 3rd precept

Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2019 1:43 pm
by garibaldi16
im unmarried single man and ive been trying to follow 3rd precept prefectly for years and its been challenging.
once the precept is broken i feel grief sadness so i stopped daily sitting and wait couple of days before resuming daily sitting. the q is it ok not to wait couple of days ?

Re: about 3rd precept

Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2019 2:57 pm
by santa100
garibaldi16 wrote:once the precept is broken i feel grief sadness so i stopped daily sitting and wait couple of days before resuming daily sitting.
It'll take lots of effort and time to perfect the precepts, especially the 3rd. Afterall, it's our most basic fundamental nature, and they didn't call our realm Kama-loka(Sensuous-world) for no reason. So, like babies who are trying to learn to walk, we will trip and fall, and trip and fall many times until we can stand up straight and walk steadily and confidently. So don't let negative emotions prevent you from immediately get back to the training. Every time you fall, immediately try to get back up and keep moving forward.

Re: about 3rd precept

Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2019 3:10 pm
by Sam Vara
First, check you really have broken it. As a single man there are no restrictions on sex with other willing partners who are not specifically proscribed, nor on masturbation.

Re: about 3rd precept

Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2019 5:25 pm
by sentinel
Sam Vara wrote:
Mon Dec 16, 2019 3:10 pm
First, check you really have broken it. As a single man there are no restrictions on sex with other willing partners who are not specifically proscribed, nor on masturbation.
Correction , not any willing partners , not with someone wife that willing or engaged female .

Re: about 3rd precept

Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2019 7:58 pm
by Sam Vara
sentinel wrote:
Mon Dec 16, 2019 5:25 pm
Sam Vara wrote:
Mon Dec 16, 2019 3:10 pm
First, check you really have broken it. As a single man there are no restrictions on sex with other willing partners who are not specifically proscribed, nor on masturbation.
Correction , not any willing partners , not with someone wife that willing or engaged female .
Yes, as I said above: "who are not specifically proscribed". Those who are married or engaged clearly are.

Re: about 3rd precept

Posted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 4:16 am
by Buckwheat
If investigation shows you have broken a precept then meditation is doubly important.

Re: about 3rd precept

Posted: Fri Dec 27, 2019 10:47 pm
by confusedlayman
its a controvorsial precept but best thing is no arising of lustful thought if u are scared

Re: about 3rd precept

Posted: Sat Dec 28, 2019 2:58 pm
by seeker242
What do you take the 3rd precept to be about?

Re: about 3rd precept

Posted: Tue Jan 07, 2020 11:24 am
by garibaldi1689
seeker242 wrote:
Sat Dec 28, 2019 2:58 pm
What do you take the 3rd precept to be about?
abstain from any sexual activities

Re: about 3rd precept

Posted: Tue Jan 07, 2020 12:38 pm
by seeker242
garibaldi1689 wrote:
Tue Jan 07, 2020 11:24 am
seeker242 wrote:
Sat Dec 28, 2019 2:58 pm
What do you take the 3rd precept to be about?
abstain from any sexual activities
For laypeople, the 3rd precept is about abstaining from misconduct in sexual activity. Not about abstaining from all sexual activity. The Buddha did not ask that of laypeople.

Re: about 3rd precept

Posted: Tue Jan 07, 2020 12:43 pm
by Sam Vara
garibaldi1689 wrote:
Tue Jan 07, 2020 11:24 am
seeker242 wrote:
Sat Dec 28, 2019 2:58 pm
What do you take the 3rd precept to be about?
abstain from any sexual activities
Are you talking about the third of the standard five precepts for lay people (kāmesu micchācārā etc...) or the third precept of the eight (abrahmacariyā veramani etc...)?

The former is not usually taken to mean that all sexual activity is disallowed.

Re: about 3rd precept

Posted: Thu Jan 09, 2020 7:38 pm
by Dorian
By the way, I have a question about the third precept as well. What does 'those protected by their parents' (one is not allowed to have sexual relationship with such people) mean? Does it mean that your partner should have reached the age of consent (which is obvious, I guess)?

Re: about 3rd precept

Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2020 11:22 am
by buddho99
From what I understand: your partner does need to have reached the age of consent but it is not what "those protected by their parents" mean. In many countries, a young woman (man also, maybe? not sure) who is living with her parents might not have their blessing to have have sexual relations with other people, because she is not married or they plan to marry her to someone in the future or another cultural/religion reason.

Re: about 3rd precept

Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2020 1:40 pm
by confusedlayman
Having consent sex except ur wife is only allowed for sotapanna or 5 precept layman.

if u not married and have any kids of sexual activity with any women, then u broke the precept and might go lower realm if u dont take necassary action. if u are sotapanna, u have x after marrage or remain celebate... if u break 5 precept u are not stream enterer for sure.. even sotapanna wont watch porn or masturbrate.. because masturbration is seeing another girl (mental prostitution) ... if u r unmarried sotapnna, u are naturrally abstain from all sexual activity ...

Re: about 3rd precept

Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2020 2:06 pm
by Ceisiwr
garibaldi1689 wrote:
Tue Jan 07, 2020 11:24 am
seeker242 wrote:
Sat Dec 28, 2019 2:58 pm
What do you take the 3rd precept to be about?
abstain from any sexual activities
It doesn’t have to be celibacy. It’s noble if you want to take that on, but the basic precept is to avoid sexual relations with:
1) a woman who is under the protection of elders or other authorities charged with her care, e.g., a girl being cared for by parents, by an older brother or sister, by other relatives, or by the family as a whole; (2) a woman who is prohibited by convention, that is, close relatives forbidden under family tradition, nuns and other women vowed to observe celibacy as a spiritual discipline, and those forbidden as partners under the law of the land; and (3) a woman who is married or engaged to another man, even one bound to another man only by a temporary agreement. In the case of women, for those who are married any man other than a husband is an illicit partner. For all women a man forbidden by tradition or under religious rules is prohibited as a partner. For both men and women any violent, forced, or coercive union, whether by physical compulsion or psychological pressure, can be regarded as a transgression of the precept even when the partner is not otherwise illicit. But a man or woman who is widowed or divorced can freely remarry according to choice.

The texts mention four factors which must be present for a breach of the precept to be incurred: (1) an illicit partner, as defined above; (2) the thought or volition of engaging in sexual union with that person; (3) the act of engaging in union; and (4) the acceptance of the union. This last factor is added for the purpose of excluding from violation those who are unwillingly forced into improper sexual relations.
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/aut ... el282.html