Spanking Children in Buddhism

Buddhist ethical conduct including the Five Precepts (Pañcasikkhāpada), and Eightfold Ethical Conduct (Aṭṭhasīla).
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SDC
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Re: Spanking Children in Buddhism

Post by SDC » Sun Jul 16, 2017 12:27 pm

binocular wrote:
SDC wrote:a misbehaving child
What is that even, a "misbehaving child"?

Children behave in line with the expectations of the parents, or they don't. But to automatically elevate the expectations of the parents to the level of Objective Morality And The Greatest Good, so that the child's failure to behave in line with those expectations could rightly be called "misbehaving" ...

Just because one person is older, bigger, stronger, richer than the other person, doesn't automatically mean that they are also the absolute moral and cognitive authority over the other person.
Exactly. Misbehaving essentially means "you're not doing what I want you to do" and it is a mix of wanting them to learn to listen and wanting them to just listen so you don't have to keep trying to get them to listen. And that is why, for me, the battle is remembering that they don't always understand, can't adjust as quickly and that is why, to break the trajectory, I resort to humor most of the time. I think that a person who hits, especially a young child is some who a) doesn't know how to speak to their child, b) actually thinks they're supposed to be in full control of a situation that is always volatile.

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Re: Spanking Children in Buddhism

Post by Santi253 » Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:20 pm

binocular wrote:
SDC wrote:a misbehaving child
What is that even, a "misbehaving child"?

Children behave in line with the expectations of the parents, or they don't. But to automatically elevate the expectations of the parents to the level of Objective Morality And The Greatest Good, so that the child's failure to behave in line with those expectations could rightly be called "misbehaving" ...

Just because one person is older, bigger, stronger, richer than the other person, doesn't automatically mean that they are also the absolute moral and cognitive authority over the other person.
What did the Buddha teach about how people, including children, should behave?
Non-violence is the greatest virtue, cowardice the greatest vice. - Mahatma Gandhi

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binocular
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Re: Spanking Children in Buddhism

Post by binocular » Sun Jul 16, 2017 2:07 pm

Santi253 wrote:What did the Buddha teach about how people, including children, should behave?
In the Pali canon, he didn't teach shoulds per se. He only taught shoulds inasmuch they pertain to the Goal; that is, in the form of "If you want to attain the Goal, then this is what you should do."
In Buddhism, there is no notion of absolute or objective morality that everyone would have to abide by regardless of their goals in life, their socio-economic status, their race, their gender, etc..

EDIT:
The Buddha's Shoulds
Last edited by binocular on Sun Jul 16, 2017 5:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Aloka
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Re: Spanking Children in Buddhism

Post by Aloka » Sun Jul 16, 2017 2:43 pm

Spanking is causing harm to others as in the first precept - and in some cases it can definately be a form of violence. In general Its bad parenting if you have to resort to bullying your children physically.

I also think it's rather creepy when men want to physically dominate and spank young girls (or boys) - because there's always the chance that they could secretly start getting off on it sexually. The same could also apply if they were watching their wife doing it....and yes, unfortunately these things do happen.

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Re: Spanking Children in Buddhism

Post by Santi253 » Tue Jul 18, 2017 12:57 pm

Aloka wrote: I also think it's rather creepy when men want to physically dominate and spank young girls (or boys) - because there's always the chance that they could secretly start getting off on it sexually.
That is disgusting. As an actual father, I would never think like that.
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Aloka
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Re: Spanking Children in Buddhism

Post by Aloka » Tue Jul 18, 2017 4:03 pm

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52 COUNTRIES BAN SPANKING

http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/pa ... -spanking/
Doctor Gilles Lazimi, who drove the anti-spanking campaign for the Foundation for Childhood in France, feels that his country has made a critical step forward for children's rights. "This law is a very strong symbolic act to make parents understand just how all violence can be harmful for the child," he told the Telegraph. "Above all, it removes the notion of a threshold: there is no small or big violence. There is violence, full stop."

The new legislation aligns France with most countries in Europe, who have adopted similar rulings.
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Aloka
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Re: Spanking Children in Buddhism

Post by Aloka » Tue Jul 18, 2017 4:55 pm

Santi253 wrote:
Aloka wrote: I also think it's rather creepy when men want to physically dominate and spank young girls (or boys) - because there's always the chance that they could secretly start getting off on it sexually.
That is disgusting. As an actual father, I would never think like that.
Spanking childen in general is a form of violence and is particularly disgusting to me.

I don't think I've anything further to add here, its clearly a waste of my time.

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Dhammarakkhito
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Re: Spanking Children in Buddhism

Post by Dhammarakkhito » Fri Jul 21, 2017 11:13 pm

i feel like you don't even need buddhism to answer this question. if the child is old enough to understand reason, use reason; if they aren't old enough to understand reason, they won't know why you're hitting them.
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Re: Spanking Children in Buddhism

Post by mario92 » Thu Jul 27, 2017 1:19 pm

I had became ill or sick by spanking my dogs or cat, they have to leave inside of the house, because they misbehave and are difficult to treat them in a way that they could understand, so i think it is also bad kamma to spank.
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