Is lay lifelong celibacy possible?

Buddhist ethical conduct including the Five Precepts (Pañcasikkhāpada), and Eightfold Ethical Conduct (Aṭṭhasīla).
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Shaswata_Panja
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Is lay lifelong celibacy possible?

Post by Shaswata_Panja » Thu Dec 11, 2014 6:18 am

Is it possible? that is a vow to not masturbate or see porn or engage in sex, but still pursuing career and making money...I want to gun for it till death..any advice?

santa100
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Re: Is lay lifelong celibacy possible?

Post by santa100 » Thu Dec 11, 2014 5:08 pm

Sure, DN 29 mentioned the spiritual community during the Buddha's time that includes celibate laypeople, ones described as "householders of the white robe, holy livers". Not easy but there sure are folks like that..

identification
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Re: Is lay lifelong celibacy possible?

Post by identification » Thu Dec 11, 2014 5:22 pm

Shaswata_Panja wrote:Is it possible? that is a vow to not masturbate or see porn or engage in sex, but still pursuing career and making money...I want to gun for it till death..any advice?
I think so

The buddha taught a meditation to counter lust. It's taught here http://32parts.com/

The peace that comes from samadhi also creates a disinterest in things like sex or masturbation.

Wish you luck :twothumbsup:

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dhammacoustic
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Re: Is lay lifelong celibacy possible?

Post by dhammacoustic » Fri Dec 12, 2014 4:53 pm

Anything is possible.

If you feel that you possess the necessary mental strenght, do it. If you don't know how to handle the snake though, the side-effects will be cruel (as taught in Gnosticism).

:namaste:
Uppādā vā tathagātanaṃ anuppādā vā tathagātanaṃ, ṭhitāva sā dhātu dhammaṭṭhitatā dhammaniyāmatā idappaccayatā. Taṃ tathagāto abhisam­buj­jhati abhisameti. Abhisam­bujjhitvā abhisametvā ācikkhati deseti paññāpeti paṭṭhapeti vivarati vibhajati uttānīkaroti. ‘Passathā’ti cāha; ‘avijjāpaccayā, bhikkhave, saṅkhārā’. Iti kho, bhikkhave, yā tatra tathatā avitathatā anaññathatā idappaccayatā-ayaṃ vuccati, bhikkhave, paṭiccasamup­pādo.
:heart: namō tassa bhagavatō, arahatō, sammā sambuddhassā

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purist_andrew
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Re: Is lay lifelong celibacy possible?

Post by purist_andrew » Tue Jan 20, 2015 4:11 am

Hi, guys. I mostly lurk here but maybe it would be helpful if I chime in at this time.

Shaswata_Panja, I am a Western 30something layperson part time student who is not an advanced or very consistent practitioner of Dharma.

Nonetheless, while I have had intercourse only once in my life, I have given up pornography and masturbation entirely and have now been "clean" over 15 months. I have had time longer than that in the past but slipped back a handful of times.

I don't even have the desire to masturbate more than several occasions a year. When that happens, I just become aware of the sensations of desire and let them pass.

To me the way to do this was a method useful for curtailing other self-defeating and self-destructive behaviors and perhaps other unwholesome habits not in line with Dhamma. I just look at this disadvantages. Here I am trying to practice a world- and samsara-transcending path for release from the ills of existence and in the middle of my meditation I have thoughts and feelings of gratifying a very base urge coming up. It just doesn't fit. It's a sloppy character trait that's not becoming and I'm ashamed of appearing that way to others and want better than it.

Perhaps some of these comments like it being un-becoming are not universally applicable to all practitioners but in my personal experience it was pressing to give it up. I don't mean to judge others just telling what worked for me.

I still notice people of the opposite sex and have daydreams and sensations of lust but I am able to leave it at that.

Some background, I have also cut out illegal drugs/alcohol/smoking/caffeine for years now and am also trying to be more consistent with cleaning up my diet. It's all in line with my desire for purification. And I consider that I was myself a real addict not just a casual user. So it was almost not even optional to give up most of these "vices"; it was pressing for health and sila.

Additionally, as far as pornography, I have created remorse by using it in the past and consider it more immoral than anything. So I abstain.

Hope that helps, maybe I can answer any further questions you might have. Considering where I came from, if I can do it, almost anyone should be able to.

Saoshun
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Re: Is lay lifelong celibacy possible?

Post by Saoshun » Tue Jan 20, 2015 7:20 pm

Unless you can transform it by meditation it will spill over anyway in dreams and stuff like this.
Remember… the Buddha had said that everyone living in this world is crazy, by the phrase, “Sabbē prutajjana ummattakā”; excluding the Arahants, everyone else is crazy. Would you get angry if a mad person scolds? Do we get angry for a crazy thing done by a crazy person? Just think about it! :candle:

paul
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Re: Is lay lifelong celibacy possible?

Post by paul » Tue Jan 20, 2015 11:16 pm

Saoshun wrote:Unless you can transform it by meditation it will spill over anyway in dreams and stuff like this.
I've practiced celibacy for 25 years, from the time of formally becoming a Buddhist. I regard sensual desire as a mental hindrance which can be eliminated and use the 5 methods described in the Vitakka-Santhana Sutta, which have resulted in its gradual reduction to a stage where it has become another mental path which one never enters. There are two truths, conventional and ultimate and sexual activity is part of conventional truth, which is correct on its own level, but as a Buddhist one must cut the ties from conventional truth, understanding it's a delusion.

"When, indeed, bhikkhus, evil unskillful thoughts due to reflection on an adventitious object are eliminated, when they disappear, and the mind stands firm, settles down, becomes unified and concentrated just within (his subject of meditation), through his reflection on an object connected with skill, through his pondering on the disadvantages of unskillful thoughts, his endeavoring to be without attentiveness and reflection as regards those thoughts or through his restraining, subduing, and beating down of the evil mind by the good mind with clenched teeth and tongue pressing on the palate, that bhikkhu is called a master of the paths along which thoughts travel. The thought he wants to think, that, he thinks; the thought he does not want to think, that, he does not think. He has cut down craving, removed the fetter, rightly mastered pride, and made an end of suffering."

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/auth ... el021.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Shaswata_Panja
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Re: Is lay lifelong celibacy possible?

Post by Shaswata_Panja » Thu Jan 22, 2015 6:56 am

paul ji koti koti pranams to you..thank you for being the guiding light ...also purist_andrew ji..same to you

paul
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Re: Is lay lifelong celibacy possible?

Post by paul » Thu Jan 22, 2015 7:28 am

-Extract from " The Manual of Insight", Ledi Sayadaw:

'The Exposition of Insight'
The Two Stages (bhumi)
"Puthujjana-bhumi is the stage of the ordinary or normal being, the worldling (puthujjana); speaking in the sense of ultimate truth, it is nothing but the hallucination of views. All creatures of the ordinary worldly kind live in the world making this ditthi-vipallasa, or erroneous view, their resting place, their main support, their standing ground: “There is in me or in my body something that is permanent, pleasurable, and substantial.”

As to the ariya-bhumi, it is a state of an ariya, a noble and sanctified being, in whom hallucination is eradicated. It is, speaking in the ultimate sense, nothing but this right view, this right apprehension, the right understanding: “There is in me or in my body nothing permanent, pleasurable, and substantial.” As an ariya lives making right view his main footing, this right view may be called the stage of the ariya. Upon the attainment of this right view, a being is said to have transcended the puthujjana-bhumi, and to have set foot on the ariya-bhumi."

-see also 'The Two Truths (sacca).

http://www.bps.lk/olib/wh/wh031-p.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

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