Where Did I Go?

General discussion of issues related to Theravada Meditation, e.g. meditation postures, developing a regular sitting practice, skillfully relating to difficulties and hindrances, etc.
walker8476
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Re: Where Did I Go?

Post by walker8476 »

Pondera wrote:But it's not clear that walker is experiencing equanimity in this state. Therefore, it could be anything from Space to Nothingness - or just some high level of insight. Ie. there may be no Buddhist equivalent.

What practice are you using walker ...?

- Pondera
I do two to three, one hour sitting meditations per day, as well as Vipassana during the day.

The sitting meditation involves focusing on the breath to start with, just to settle my mind. Then I find the letting go of thoughts, desire, aversion just sort of happens on its own. The mind then goes very still and calm but I am still fully aware of what is happening and I just let it happen. At this point I am still aware of the self. After a certain amount of time, I am able to let go of the self and what is left is just awareness.
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CedarTree
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Re: Where Did I Go?

Post by CedarTree »

walker8476 wrote:
Pondera wrote:But it's not clear that walker is experiencing equanimity in this state. Therefore, it could be anything from Space to Nothingness - or just some high level of insight. Ie. there may be no Buddhist equivalent.

What practice are you using walker ...?

- Pondera
I do two to three, one hour sitting meditations per day, as well as Vipassana during the day.

The sitting meditation involves focusing on the breath to start with, just to settle my mind. Then I find the letting go of thoughts, desire, aversion just sort of happens on its own. The mind then goes very still and calm but I am still fully aware of what is happening and I just let it happen. At this point I am still aware of the self. After a certain amount of time, I am able to let go of the self and what is left is just awareness.
How do you define this state of awareness.


Practice, Practice, Practice

walker8476
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Re: Where Did I Go?

Post by walker8476 »

CedarTree wrote:
How do you define this state of awareness.
I would define these states of awareness as; peace and tranquility, neither pleasure nor pain, mindful, one-pointedness, bare-awareness and not-self.
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CedarTree
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Re: Where Did I Go?

Post by CedarTree »

walker8476 wrote:
CedarTree wrote:
How do you define this state of awareness.
I would define these states of awareness as; peace and tranquility, neither pleasure nor pain, mindful, one-pointedness, bare-awareness and not-self.
Your well read.

You may have to start spending considerable more time in them to start finding elements of construction within the mind. At this point of the practice if you are there it becomes subtle work.


Practice, Practice, Practice

walker8476
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Re: Where Did I Go?

Post by walker8476 »

CedarTree wrote:You may have to start spending considerable more time in them to start finding elements of construction within the mind. At this point of the practice if you are there it becomes subtle work.
Do you mean investigating these states of awareness in more detail to understand their nature?
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TreeSleeper
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Re: Where Did I Go?

Post by TreeSleeper »

walker8476 wrote:I've been meditating for about ten years now but lately I get to a point where I have a very still mind, no thoughts and no awareness of my body. There's a feeling of losing myself, like there is no me anymore. It's very disconcerting. Just wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences.
Fear is just a defilement. Don't let it take over. The real you is not afraid. The problem isn't losing yourself, the problem is the fear coming up blocking you from making progress.
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CedarTree
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Re: Where Did I Go?

Post by CedarTree »

walker8476 wrote:
CedarTree wrote:You may have to start spending considerable more time in them to start finding elements of construction within the mind. At this point of the practice if you are there it becomes subtle work.
Do you mean investigating these states of awareness in more detail to understand their nature?
Yes, and in general spending much more time in them. You need more familiarity.


Practice, Practice, Practice

walker8476
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Re: Where Did I Go?

Post by walker8476 »

TreeSleeper wrote:Fear is just a defilement. Don't let it take over. The real you is not afraid. The problem isn't losing yourself, the problem is the fear coming up blocking you from making progress.
I agree. I think the disconcerting feeling is fear. I didn't recognise it as fear at the beginning.

Now that I know what it is, I've been more open and allowed the fear to arise and fall away naturally and I'm finding that I no longer have the disconcerting feeling and I can spend more time with the feeling of no-self for longer.
Saengnapha
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Re: Where Did I Go?

Post by Saengnapha »

walker8476 wrote:
TreeSleeper wrote:Fear is just a defilement. Don't let it take over. The real you is not afraid. The problem isn't losing yourself, the problem is the fear coming up blocking you from making progress.
I agree. I think the disconcerting feeling is fear. I didn't recognise it as fear at the beginning.

Now that I know what it is, I've been more open and allowed the fear to arise and fall away naturally and I'm finding that I no longer have the disconcerting feeling and I can spend more time with the feeling of no-self for longer.
Walker, my feeling, and I can be wrong, is that you are fabricating a state of mind, stillness and a loss of self. Anything that arises, be it a concept or phenomenon, is to be seen as empty of self and impermanent. You are still observing all of this taking place but 'toying' with it as something 'meaningful'. It is just what you have associated in your thinking as being in a 'higher' state. Progress is not landing in or on something. It is not a measurable thing. This is why jhanas, meditative absorptions, can be misleading if there is not the right view accompanying them. They can lead to a form of nihilism. Balance is very important.
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