Resistance/tightness in practicing loving kindness

[oak1]

When trying to cultivate metta for myself and others, I experience this tightening/resisting in the chest. It is, as if I feel like I and those around me do not deserve to be at peace. Having once read that metta is one of the quickest ways to experience the fruits of practice, I must say that I just get to feel very miserable from it. A believe a friend of mine said it is just a matter of practising, but I would like to hear your opinions as well with regards to how to deal with this.

Thanks and be well

[BasementBuddhist]

I have no solutions to your hindrance. I can only say this: Metta can be hard. A lot of humans are routinely taught from a young age that certian people groups, or even people who are just strangers to us, are to be treated with suspicion and caution. It can even pervade entire cultures. I feel it a lot here in the states. In an environment such as this, the 4 divine abodes can be the opposite of conditioned behavior.

[SarathW]

It is as if I feel like I and those around me do not deserve to be at peace.

Does this include you?

[User156079]

Having once read that metta is one of the quickest ways to experience the fruits of practice

Afaik:
Metta is advised to individuals prone to anger, it is not wise to train it if one has a lot of attachment to sensuality (not sure if this is from Sutta or the early commentary). Being a Samatha meditation it is not always proper time to develop it, in example if the Mind is sluggish it will be difficult. If you have some discomfort and develop aversion to it that will be a hindrance for any type of meditation and make you not want to practise.

I would advice developing Sati(Mindfulness), it will make you more resilient, discerning, concentrated and equanimous. In partiular in regards to the pleasant and unpleasant states (mental and physical discomfort) experienced in any meditation equanimity will be helpful.

A comperhensive practice is the quickest way to experience the fruits of the Teachings. A comperhensive practice will include training in Morality, Discernment and Concentration. Another thing in regard to quickness is the intensity of the faculties of Conviction, Persistence, Concentration, Mindfulness & Discernment (Vitthara Sutta).

Basically the Brahmaviharas, asubha, recollections & mindfulness of death are meant to support the development Factors of Enlightenment as i understand it and Sati being the main thing to be developed.

Another thing is that one's Teacher is a good person to develop Metta towards

[paul]

As attachment is abandoned the social attitude of metta must be developed as its outward expression because loving-kindness is relations without desire. But it's not easy to break down previous attitudes and all sorts of pain can be expected. The notion that the Buddhist path is all peace is a public misconception. Loving-kindness alone is a lesser path for those who don't have the temperament for the path of insight.
As to the technique for metta meditation, there are the following instructions:
" But when he begins, he must know that some persons are the wrong sort at the very beginning and that loving-kindness should be developed towards certain kinds of persons and not towards certain other kinds at first."
[...] " So he should first , as an example, pervade himself with loving-kindness. Next after that, in order to proceed easily, he can recollect such gifts, kind words, etc., as inspire love and endearment, such virtue, learning, etc., as inspire respect and reverence met with in a teacher or his equivalent or a preceptor or his equivalent, developing loving-kindness toward him in the way beginning, "May this good man be happy and free from suffering."---Vism. IX, 3-11.

[Zom]

Having once read that metta is one of the quickest ways to experience the fruits of practice, I must say that I just get to feel very miserable from it.

Metta practice is very delicate. You can easily fool yourself here.

[Lucas Oliveira]

How to Practice Loving Kindness Meditation (Metta)

https://dhammawheel.com/viewtopic.php?f=41&t=27032

[Lucas Oliveira]

Itivuttaka 22 - Metta Sutta
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... ml#iti-022

Itivuttaka 27 - Mettabhavana Sutta
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... ml#iti-027

Metta (Mettanisamsa) Sutta: Good Will
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .than.html

Satti Sutta: The Spear
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .than.html


In the Kalama Sutta he speaks a little about the other Brahmaviharas

Kalama Sutta: To the Kalamas
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .than.html

[Sam Vara]

Loving-kindness alone is a lesser path for those who don't have the temperament for the path of insight.

Could you explain why you think that this is the case? Is this from the suttas, or the commentaries?

[paul]

Metta is a brahma vihara:
"If he fails to attain arahantship (the highest sanctity) here and now, he will be reborn in the brahma-world."
---AN 11:16.

"There is a superior goal [which is arahantship]. And there is an ultimate escape from this whole field of perception."
---AN 3:66

"In the Buddha's teaching these four Divine Abidings, the "greatest of all worldly merit," if practiced alone, without insight into the true nature of existence, can lead to rebirth in the highest heavens."---'The Practice of Loving-Kindness', Nanamoli Thera

[Sam Vara]

Metta is a brahma vihara:
"If he fails to attain arahantship (the highest sanctity) here and now, he will be reborn in the brahma-world."
---AN 11:16.

Yet there are also suttas which treat the Brahma-viharas as a basis for ceto-vimutti. Richard Gombrich devotes a chapter of his book "What the Buddha Thought" to the idea that early Buddhist commentators and practitioners misconstrued brahmanic references, and that loving kindness is in itself as salvific as any other quality of mind.

[JohnK]

...I would like to hear your opinions as well with regards to how to deal with this.

How about the thoughts of a very senior student of Ajahn Chah?
I love this book:
http://www.abhayagiri.org/books/abundan ... measurable

[dharmacorps]

I have had this sensation before and it can take time to work through/with. What helped me was understanding what Metta really means. The mistranslation/misunderstanding of it meaning lovingkindness or love is very confusing. Remember, it means good will or at least that is the closest translation in English-- see Thanissaro. That is much more achievable than working with the idea you have to love everybody. You don't have to love or even like other people. But wishing ill on anybody is pointless. The world would be a much more peaceful place if even people we find quit difficult could find true happiness within. Just make sure you are viewing things correctly and not setting yourself up for failure by having an impossible expectation that you should be loving people.

Also, I recommend before you begin Metta to think thoughts of forgiveness-- people who have harmed you, people you have harmed, yourself and others. Helps to break that tightness and stop the "war" in your head.

[oak1]

It is as if I feel like I and those around me do not deserve to be at peace.

Does this include you?

Yes, it includes me.

If you have some discomfort and develop aversion to it that will be a hindrance for any type of meditation and make you not want to practise.

Quite spot on.

I would advice developing Sati(Mindfulness), it will make you more resilient, discerning, concentrated and equanimous. In partiular in regards to the pleasant and unpleasant states (mental and physical discomfort) experienced in any meditation equanimity will be helpful.

I have practiced breathing meditation for most of my meditation career (some four years). However, I found it always quite unpleasant because breathing was very tense and forced. Right now, mainly practicing with body scan and cultivating gratitude and self-respect which is a lot more fruitful for me. Just recently, I think equanimity - rather than trying to get rid of - has finally seemed to hit home. It is probably a good idea to try cultivating it more indeed. As a matter of fact I recently listened to a Dhamma talk by Ajahn Munindo who explained that the way to cultivate it is to look at other people who are equanimous, recognize it - perhaps feel it, rather than see it - and delight in it. Queen Elizabeth, Ajahn Chah and Aung san suu kyi are people who he mentions. Other suggestions for equanimity development?
Also like the suggestion of generating it towards a teacher.
I was interested in practicing loving kindness because in itivuttaka 27 it was praised so much and also because I feel discursive mediation suits my needs.

But it's not easy to break down previous attitudes and all sorts of pain can be expected. The notion that the Buddhist path is all peace is a public misconception.

So just keep practicing in the way I am?

Next after that, in order to proceed easily, he can recollect such gifts, kind words, etc., as inspire love and endearment, such virtue, learning, etc., as inspire respect and reverence met with in a teacher

This seems useful, thanks.

How about the thoughts of a very senior student of Ajahn Chah?

This looks quite excellent.

Richard Gombrich devotes a chapter of his book "What the Buddha Thought" to the idea that early Buddhist commentators and practitioners misconstrued brahmanic references, and that loving kindness is in itself as salvific as any other quality of mind.

I recall the same, though I must admit I do not have a source.

Remember, it means good will or at least that is the closest translation in English-- see Thanissaro.

Though, I wasn’t aware of this translation and I appreciate you putting it forth, I feel like I have practiced according to its meaning.

Also, I recommend before you begin Metta to think thoughts of forgiveness-- people who have harmed you, people you have harmed, yourself and others. Helps to break that tightness and stop the "war" in your head.

This sounds very promising

Thanks

Metta practice is very delicate. You can easily fool yourself here.

Could you elucidate?

[User156079]

Other suggestions for equanimity development?

Equanimity is of several kinds, the one that you should aim for does not require specific training as it will come natural with cultivation of Wisdom/Discernment which is trained by Satipatthana meditation. I have no experience with Goenka method or the body scan technique personally.
The best method that i do know of is the Mahasi Method of Satipatthana Meditation.
Here are some videos by Ven. Yuttadhammo Bhikkhu on equanimity and i recommend watching them:
Monk Radio: Equanimity 09:08 minutes
Ask A Monk: Equanimity of a Buffalo 09:18 minutes
Monk Radio: Trying to Be Equanimous 00:56 minutes
Rest of the quotes are not mine even tho it says that i wrote it, i think you made some mistakes when making the post.