Jhana4 wrote:TMingyur wrote:
Jhana4 wrote:
I disagree. In 15 min of his time, he gets mind off of sex and freed from thoughts of massage parlors.
until the same dukkha occurs again. C'mon feeding any sensual desire just perpetuates it.
No it does not. Satisfying a craving and then leaving it alone is not the same as stoking a desire into an attachment.
Speaking from a
male perspective: I guess it strongly depends on the way masturbation is done. If it is done detached, not mentally involved, not phantasizing, renouncing any sensual pleasure, like kind of defecating or a surgical operation then masturbation may not be feeding sexual lust. But if mental delight, attachment and intention for delight and thoughts stimulating lust are involved then it will definitely feed the recurrence of lust. Then it is karmical activity entailing recurrence, increasing the weight of dukkha, enhancing habitual pattern.
I doubt that the issue of masturbation can be assessed by a human of the other gender. So my assumption is that the OP is male and I am commenting as one who has a male body.
I would not dare to comment on female masturbation because how could I know anything about it?
Jhana4 wrote:
TMingyur wrote:
Jhana4 wrote:
The alternative methods offered by Theravada are to either cultivate disgust or disenchantment for sex. That works for monks and nuns. That doesn't work well for a lay person who hopes to have a relationship someday.
Of course does it work for lay persons.
If there is fear of losing interest in sexual relationships then that is an instance of dukkha (fear) supporting dukkha (lust).
Kind regards
Most relationships will not last ( or start ) if one partner has cultivated a disgust or a detachment for sex. The original poster hopes to have a relationship with the right person someday.
The intention to have relationship here and lust there and vice versa. If there is this then there is that.
Who complains about what?
Let's take the perspective that the suffering of lust may be an opportunity for the OP! There may be better things in life than having it dominated by desire and sexual relationship(s). I dare say so.
The OP asked for advice and one advice referred him to the effective method is which contemplating the disenchanting aspects of the body (that of others but also one's own). It is a straightforward method directed to the root of lust which is opposing thought and volition.
Kind regards