How is a Buddhist to deal with great trauma/tragedy and huge, unspeakable amount of stress?
Is one to retract and become like a rock?
Dealing with tragedy
Dealing with tragedy
"The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”― Albert Camus
- retrofuturist
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Re: Dealing with tragedy
Greetings No_Mind,
Metta,
Paul.
Practices like the brahma-viharas would help, but it would be most helpful to practice them before these situations arise, so that they are a more natural, habitual and instinctive abode when things do go wrong.
Metta,
Paul.
"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
Re: Dealing with tragedy
I strongly agree with Retro in my experience.
In addition, you can practice Anicca, Dukkha, and Anatta.
Especially, practice arising and perishing nature of the present moment.
Past Dukkha has finished the future Dukkha has not arisen yet.
Stay in the moment and contemplate on present Dukkha and the origin and cessation of that.
In addition, you can practice Anicca, Dukkha, and Anatta.
Especially, practice arising and perishing nature of the present moment.
Past Dukkha has finished the future Dukkha has not arisen yet.
Stay in the moment and contemplate on present Dukkha and the origin and cessation of that.
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”
Re: Dealing with tragedy
Hi NM ,
Not easy , I supposed Buddha would do , is acceptance first , then , think of something practical in secondary can be done and beneficial better to substitute or replacement for that situation .
You always gain by giving
Re: Dealing with tragedy
Practice RAIN. First Recognize what your feeling,then allow it to be there, investigate it, and then non identification will happen by itself.
Take care of mindfulness and mindfulness will take care of you.
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Re: Dealing with tragedy
Ven Ananda's grief :
So Ven. Ananda & Cunda the novice went to the Blessed One and, on arrival, having bowed down to him, sat to one side. As they were sitting there, Ven. Ananda said to him, "Lord, just now Cunda the novice said to me, 'Venerable sir, Ven. Sariputta has attained total Unbinding. Here are his bowl & robes.' It was as if my body were drugged, I lost my bearings, things weren't clear to me, on hearing that Ven. Sariputta had attained total Unbinding."
"But, Ananda, when he attained total Unbinding, did Sariputta take the aggregate of virtue along with him? Did he take the aggregate of concentration... discernment... release... the aggregate of knowledge & vision of release along with him?"
"No, lord, when he attained total Unbinding, Ven. Sariputta didn't take the aggregate of virtue... concentration... discernment... release... the aggregate of knowledge & vision of release along with him. It's just that he was my instructor & counselor, one who exhorted, urged, roused, & encouraged me. He was tireless in teaching the Dhamma, a help to his companions in the holy life. We miss the nourishment of his Dhamma, the wealth of his Dhamma, his help in the Dhamma."
"But, Ananda, haven't I already taught you the state of growing different with regard to all things dear & appealing, the state of becoming separate, the state of becoming otherwise? What else is there to expect? It's impossible that one could forbid anything born, existent, fabricated, & subject to disintegration from disintegrating.
"Just as if the largest limb were to fall off of a great tree composed of heartwood, standing firm; in the same way, Sariputta has attained total Unbinding from this great community of monks composed of heartwood, standing firm. What else is there to expect? It's impossible that one could forbid anything born, existent, fabricated, & subject to disintegration from disintegrating.
"Therefore, Ananda, each of you should remain with your self as an island, your self as your refuge, without anything else as a refuge. Remain with the Dhamma as an island, the Dhamma as your refuge, without anything else as a refuge. And how does a monk remain with his self as an island, his self as his refuge, without anything else as a refuge? How does he remain with the Dhamma as an island, the Dhamma as his refuge, without anything else as a refuge? There is the case where a monk remains focused on the body in & of itself — ardent, alert, & mindful — putting aside greed & distress with reference to the world. He remains focused on feelings... mind... mental qualities in & of themselves — ardent, alert, & mindful — putting aside greed & distress with reference to the world. This is how a monk remains with his self as an island, his self as his refuge, without anything else as a refuge, with the Dhamma as an island, the Dhamma as his refuge, without anything else as a refuge. For those who — now or after I am gone — remain with their self as an island, their self as their refuge, without anything else as a refuge, with the Dhamma as an island, the Dhamma as their refuge, without anything else as a refuge, they will be the highest of the monks who desire training."
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .than.html
Wish you all success in all your endeavours. Goodbye!
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Re: Dealing with tragedy
Bearing with pain using faith :
At one time the Gracious One was dwelling near Kuṇḍiya, at Kuṇḍadhāna Wood. Then at that time the Koliyan lady Suppavāsā was with child for seven years, and for seven days it was lost in the womb and couldn’t be delivered. While she was affected by painful, sharp, harsh, and bitter feelings, she consented to three thoughts: “For sure the Gracious One is a Perfect Sambuddha, who teaches the Dhamma for the giving up of suffering such as this; for sure the Gracious One’s Community of disciples are good in their practice, who practice for the giving up of suffering such as this; it is sure that Emancipation is truly happy, where suffering such as this is not found.”
https://suttacentral.net/ud2.8/en/anandajoti
Wish you all success in all your endeavours. Goodbye!
Re: Dealing with tragedy
1)I would look at life on a much grander scale.So think of impermanence.It removes me from feeling narrowed in.I know that this moment will pass and I imagine life aeons from now.
2)Next I I do the 32 contemplation of the body meditation where I try to find myself.It helps cultivate this perception of Anatta or Not Self.So I try to find myself in my hands.Is this me?In my eyes?I imagine the back of the eye with all the nerves is that where I am?once I finish all the body parts you really feel like your kind of this empty vessel.And when you are empty and you can't find yourself your situations or problems also don't feel overwhelming.
3)I think of karma.I think of cause and effect.How impersonal it is.So even though not everything is caused by karma it's useful to contemplate karma because it helps us accept/let go or understand and it builds equanimity.
4)I contemplate that I am only suffering now because I have a body.Because I was born.If I was never born I wouldn't have suffered so I know for myself that there is no safe refuge.That all the pleasures in the world is so brief and fleeting compared to the mass of suffering we experience and acccumulate and only serves to bait us to continue this cycle of samsara.So I turn my attention to how I stop this cycle of rebirth by practicing meditation because there is no safe spot.
2)Next I I do the 32 contemplation of the body meditation where I try to find myself.It helps cultivate this perception of Anatta or Not Self.So I try to find myself in my hands.Is this me?In my eyes?I imagine the back of the eye with all the nerves is that where I am?once I finish all the body parts you really feel like your kind of this empty vessel.And when you are empty and you can't find yourself your situations or problems also don't feel overwhelming.
3)I think of karma.I think of cause and effect.How impersonal it is.So even though not everything is caused by karma it's useful to contemplate karma because it helps us accept/let go or understand and it builds equanimity.
4)I contemplate that I am only suffering now because I have a body.Because I was born.If I was never born I wouldn't have suffered so I know for myself that there is no safe refuge.That all the pleasures in the world is so brief and fleeting compared to the mass of suffering we experience and acccumulate and only serves to bait us to continue this cycle of samsara.So I turn my attention to how I stop this cycle of rebirth by practicing meditation because there is no safe spot.
- Manopubbangama
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Re: Dealing with tragedy
Define tragedy.
My kids would think their ipad not working is a tragedy and would react less calmly than many practiced individuals would react to losing a loved one.
Re: Dealing with tragedy
What type of tragedy to be specific?
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- Sabbe_Dhamma_Anatta
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Re: Dealing with tragedy
Thanks for sharing RAIN.
Recognize
Allow (Accept)
Investigate
Non-identification
_/\_ _/\_ _/\_
𝓑𝓾𝓭𝓭𝓱𝓪 𝓗𝓪𝓭 𝓤𝓷𝓮𝓺𝓾𝓲𝓿𝓸𝓬𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓓𝓮𝓬𝓵𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓽
𝓐𝓷𝓪𝓽𝓽ā 𝓜𝓮𝓪𝓷𝓼 𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓘𝓼
- Iᴅᴇᴀ ᴏꜰ Sᴏᴜʟ ɪs Oᴜᴛᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴ Uᴛᴛᴇʀʟʏ Fᴏᴏʟɪsʜ Vɪᴇᴡ
V. Nanananda
𝓐𝓷𝓪𝓽𝓽ā 𝓜𝓮𝓪𝓷𝓼 𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓘𝓼
- Nᴏ sᴜᴄʜ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴀs ᴀ Sᴇʟғ, Sᴏᴜʟ, Eɢᴏ, Sᴘɪʀɪᴛ, ᴏʀ Āᴛᴍᴀɴ
V. Buddhādasa
Re: Dealing with tragedy
How do you investigate into a feeling?Sabbe_Dhamma_Anatta wrote: ↑Fri Jan 25, 2019 7:48 amThanks for sharing RAIN.
Recognize
Allow (Accept)
Investigate
Non-identification
_/\_ _/\_ _/\_
- Sabbe_Dhamma_Anatta
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Re: Dealing with tragedy
Hello,
I would investigate "feeling" as it is. As it occurs to my awareness, contemplating experientially, with its impermance and its natural-ness in mind.
(Here, I mean feeling in general sense, because, currently, my mind is just not sharp enough to investigate pure vedana cetasika separately nor to put it into the perspective of dependent origination).
Some may also add investigating from these aspects:
- three characteristics of existence
- noted as such (pleasent, unpleasant, sad, happy, angry, itchy, sleepy_ "as in 'I feel sleepy', although sleepiness is, IMHO, more of middha than vedana.")
- universal characteristics / individual characteristics
- with equanimity (without craving or aversion)
- by https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/aut ... ml#feeling
- etc.
Metta,
[Just my personal view]alfa wrote:How do you investigate into a feeling?
I would investigate "feeling" as it is. As it occurs to my awareness, contemplating experientially, with its impermance and its natural-ness in mind.
(Here, I mean feeling in general sense, because, currently, my mind is just not sharp enough to investigate pure vedana cetasika separately nor to put it into the perspective of dependent origination).
Some may also add investigating from these aspects:
- three characteristics of existence
- noted as such (pleasent, unpleasant, sad, happy, angry, itchy, sleepy_ "as in 'I feel sleepy', although sleepiness is, IMHO, more of middha than vedana.")
- universal characteristics / individual characteristics
- with equanimity (without craving or aversion)
- by https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/aut ... ml#feeling
- etc.
Metta,
𝓑𝓾𝓭𝓭𝓱𝓪 𝓗𝓪𝓭 𝓤𝓷𝓮𝓺𝓾𝓲𝓿𝓸𝓬𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓓𝓮𝓬𝓵𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓽
𝓐𝓷𝓪𝓽𝓽ā 𝓜𝓮𝓪𝓷𝓼 𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓘𝓼
- Iᴅᴇᴀ ᴏꜰ Sᴏᴜʟ ɪs Oᴜᴛᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴ Uᴛᴛᴇʀʟʏ Fᴏᴏʟɪsʜ Vɪᴇᴡ
V. Nanananda
𝓐𝓷𝓪𝓽𝓽ā 𝓜𝓮𝓪𝓷𝓼 𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓘𝓼
- Nᴏ sᴜᴄʜ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴀs ᴀ Sᴇʟғ, Sᴏᴜʟ, Eɢᴏ, Sᴘɪʀɪᴛ, ᴏʀ Āᴛᴍᴀɴ
V. Buddhādasa
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Re: Dealing with tragedy
There is no panacea to stress, at least none I have found yet. All I have found is keeping up a routine practice of meditation, brahmaviharas, and reading and hearing the dhamma/suttas over time allows you to be better able to handle stress and tragedy as it happens (and it will happen, always in life). 2 of my beloved cats died within a few days of each other and I was reminded of what I am practicing for.
Re: Dealing with tragedy
I would like to know a little more.Sabbe_Dhamma_Anatta wrote: ↑Fri Jan 25, 2019 4:38 pm Hello,[Just my personal view]alfa wrote:How do you investigate into a feeling?
I would investigate "feeling" as it is. As it occurs to my awareness, contemplating experientially, with its impermance and its natural-ness in mind.
(Here, I mean feeling in general sense, because, currently, my mind is just not sharp enough to investigate pure vedana cetasika separately nor to put it into the perspective of dependent origination).
Some may also add investigating from these aspects:
- three characteristics of existence
- noted as such (pleasent, unpleasant, sad, happy, angry, itchy, sleepy_ "as in 'I feel sleepy', although sleepiness is, IMHO, more of middha than vedana.")
- universal characteristics / individual characteristics
- with equanimity (without craving or aversion)
- by https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/aut ... ml#feeling
- etc.
Metta,
Is it possible for a householder to be able to investigate a terrifying feeling?
Such as what if my child is badly ill and I am scared to enter my office every morning because my boss in unpredictable (a fictitious example but somewhat close to my situation.)
How am I supposed to investigate this feeling of helplessness and pure terror if I have only about 20 minutes or similar time frame for meditation daily.
Is this not meant for monastics who have less intense life experiences (which is sort of the point of being a monastic - to have less intense life experiences.)
If I can go on long retreats I too will learn to investigate my feelings and be able to understand their impermanence and set them aside. But to me and billions like me fear and stress is all too real.
This is a genuine question and I am not seeking to be argumentative or try and defile the Dhamma in any way (a common accusation whenever I post.)
"The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”― Albert Camus