Does negative thinking matter?

[binocular]

The problem is the internet .. and on it there are people who create videos and write blogs setting impossible targets .. even impossible targets about having a peaceful mind

Don't believe everything you hear and see on the internet.

Is it possible for a householder to have a perfectly peaceful mind?

I don't think so.

Like a still lake .. or am I aiming too high? Maybe, I am already there but I do not know it yet (one of the pitfalls of not having a teacher; one has breasted the tape but does not know the race is over) .. maybe I am as peaceful as possible and just having OCD about the residual anxiety I have .. which actually maybe only 5% of the anxiety that normal people have.

Odd that you say such things; because on the other hand, you also say about yourself that you're living in contentment and bliss. So which is it?

About 10 minutes after I saw her photo I recognized her .. she had matched with me on Tinder back in Dec and we had a short chat .. where, after she asked if I was single and which college I had attended .. she asked if I had a car (I said no I have 10,000 because I have the Uber app) and then she commented "you are too unsuccessful" and unmatched with me .. it had stayed with me because she was the only match who had summarily dismissed me because I did not own a car.

Looks like she knew exactly what she was looking for, and had set for herself clear limits as to what makes for a worthwhile life and what doesn't.
But it could also be that there are things about her that we don't know. Maybe she was recently diagnosed with a terminal disease ...

[Meezer77]

It was a bit unkind and unnecessary to call you unsuccessful. I find that my mood goes low in the winter months, but if I take myself off somewhere sunny then I turn into a different person. Maybe you could try taking yourself off to the pool or the beach more often No Mind, much cheaper than therapy.

What is high summer to you is height of winter here. Right now it is a 100 in shade. We have three seasons here - hot (80-90), very hot(90-100), very very hot (100 plus)

I want to escape to Scotland

It's freezing and we are a miserable race who take joy in complaining.

[binocular]

What is high summer to you is height of winter here. Right now it is a 100 in shade. We have three seasons here - hot (80-90), very hot(90-100), very very hot (100 plus)

What is the biggest temperature difference between any two days in a year there?

Here, in the winters, we sometimes have -20°C, and 40°C in the summer, which makes up to a 60°C temperature difference. This isn't easy to handle either.

[No_Mind]

Like a still lake .. or am I aiming too high? Maybe, I am already there but I do not know it yet (one of the pitfalls of not having a teacher; one has breasted the tape but does not know the race is over) .. maybe I am as peaceful as possible and just having OCD about the residual anxiety I have .. which actually maybe only 5% of the anxiety that normal people have.

Odd that you say such things; because on the other hand, you also say about yourself that you're living in contentment and bliss. So which is it?

My long post was second thoughts some hours after I had posted the original question.

I am not living in contentment. I would like couple of million GBP invested in AA+ rated corporate bonds. But not that I am unhappy. In my own eccentric way I am happy.

But I have a degree of low level anxiety because my skill is not unique and things are changing all the time and who knows where I might end up a decade and half later ..

But on the other hand .. say I was a farmer between 2000 BC and 1600 CE (anywhere in the world) .. who had no clue when marauding hordes would appear and take all I have or anthrax would kill all the sheep .. so no one knows the future and I am willing to accept this level of low level anxiety though it is highly undesirable.

About 10 minutes after I saw her photo I recognized her .. she had matched with me on Tinder back in Dec and we had a short chat .. where, after she asked if I was single and which college I had attended .. she asked if I had a car (I said no I have 10,000 because I have the Uber app) and then she commented "you are too unsuccessful" and unmatched with me .. it had stayed with me because she was the only match who had summarily dismissed me because I did not own a car.

Looks like she knew exactly what she was looking for, and had set for herself clear limits as to what makes for a worthwhile life and what doesn't.
But it could also be that there are things about her that we don't know. Maybe she was recently diagnosed with a terminal disease ...

My point is I have made it this far without rich parents while she chose to exit. So maybe my life is more blessed than hers was. And I was reflecting on my good fortune .. that the wealth I had received was more genuine and life giving than hers was.

[binocular]

My point is I have made it this far without rich parents while she chose to exit. So maybe my life is more blessed than hers was. And I was reflecting on my good fortune .. that the wealth I had received was more genuine and life giving than hers was.

Like I said: there may be -- in fact, most likely -- are things we don't know about her. Maybe she was diagnosed with a terminal disease, maybe she was abused.

It's easy to make superficial comparisons with others, in order to make oneself feel better. But such comparisons are illusory and whatever satisfaction they may bring could evaporate as soon as more is known about those other people.

[Sam Vara]

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

(Shakespeare. But you thought it was cappucino, didn't you!)

[No_Mind]

What is high summer to you is height of winter here. Right now it is a 100 in shade. We have three seasons here - hot (80-90), very hot(90-100), very very hot (100 plus)

What is the biggest temperature difference between any two days in a year there?

Here, in the winters, we sometimes have -20°C, and 40°C in the summer, which makes up to a 60°C temperature difference. This isn't easy to handle either.

Speaking of Calcutta - it is reverse weather of Siberia

Calcutta would have 10°C low and around 40 to 42°C high with killer humidity .. tomorrow actual high will be 36°C but real feel 40°C and this will continue till end October .. real feel will rise to 55°C slowly from now till June 10th

Delhi would have 5°C low at dead of winter and 43°C high at height of summer but drier than Calcutta (it matters because in Delhi days are hot but nights are cool .. here after you lie down for few hours the whole bed is wet with sweat)

Mumbai same as Calcutta but since it is by the sea side it is humid but also pleasant .. in Calcutta the air stands still much of the year.

[No_Mind]

My point is I have made it this far without rich parents while she chose to exit. So maybe my life is more blessed than hers was. And I was reflecting on my good fortune .. that the wealth I had received was more genuine and life giving than hers was.

Like I said: there may be -- in fact, most likely -- are things we don't know about her. Maybe she was diagnosed with a terminal disease, maybe she was abused.

It's easy to make superficial comparisons with others, in order to make oneself feel better. But such comparisons are illusory and whatever satisfaction they may bring could evaporate as soon as more is known about those other people.

That is what I meant. If she had terminal disease or was abused or a plain case of too much money and too little to do .. it makes me more blessed than her .. her good fortune was lots of wealth while my good fortune is more intangible but also more nourishing.

I came to realize after hearing about her death that I may not be actually anxious. Let alone throw myself out of 18th floor I am not going to jump from 18 inches (at this moment).

[binocular]

That is what I meant. If she had terminal disease or was abused .. it makes me more blessed than her .. her good fortune was lots of wealth while my good fortune more intangible but also more nourishing.

As always -- count your blessings!

https://www.dhammatalks.org/Archive/y20 ... ssings.mp3
https://www.dhammatalks.org/Archive/y20 ... ssings.mp3

[binocular]

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

So it's thinking that makes bad dreams bad?

[Sam Vara]

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

So it's thinking that makes bad dreams bad?

So Hamlet thought.

[binocular]

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

So it's thinking that makes bad dreams bad?

So Hamlet thought.

If that were so, he wouldn't have a problem, and then he could indeed be bounded in a nutshell, yet still count himself a king of infinite space.

[Sam Vara]

If that were so, he wouldn't have a problem, and then he could indeed be bounded in a nutshell, yet still count himself a king of infinite space.

Yes, in Buddhist terms, Hamlet's problem was that he hadn't trained his mind and his thinking ran him.

[Spiny Norman]

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
(Shakespeare. But you thought it was cappucino, didn't you!)

Though there is pleasant and unpleasant vedana.

[Spiny Norman]

I want to escape to Scotland

I walked yesterday on the East coast of England, strong onshore wind, around -10 with windchill. Brrr! Though I prefer it cold to hot, you can always put on more clothes ( or find a warm pub! ).