Hi mario,mario92 wrote: ↑Tue Aug 01, 2017 3:17 amThis is difficult i had practising it, but even a hello from the opposite sex, can lead to much lust when waking up in the morning, is the first time since years that now i take this practice, so sometimes i dont feel happy, i feel confused most of the time, but even if it hurts some times it is better, but as i began to practice i felt like goodness or nobility in my character, and then temptation arises again, and i lose control. I had done also some sexual misconduct like seeing improper images in the internet, only understanding can save me, i feel confused and like going astray, i have a problem with being handsome , i attract many sights so that is not so good after all.paul wrote:Any lay practitioner who understands the work of right effort in countering the defilements and wants to do all in their power to progress, will renounce all sexual activity beyond the letter of the precepts:
“From the spiritual standpoint it (Right Action) helps curb the expansive tendency of sexual desire and thus is a step in the direction of renunciation, which reaches its consummation in the observance of celibacy (brahmacariya) binding on monks and nuns. ”—“The Noble Eightfold Path”, Bikkhu Bodhi.
while I don't have your additional problem of good looks, I can relate to your other struggles. There are so many things we can do to reduce lust, but the most powerful I've ever encountered, is to find pleasure in meditation; when this happens, it's much easier to convince myself to remain abstinent for another day. I too fall down, by the way; usually because I've become lazy, and have not been controlling my mind, or have begun looking at attractive women again (and as for looking at ladies on the Internet...what a self-destructive trap, even to the point of addiction, that can become! beware). I used to 'beat myself up' for 'slipping' from a stint of celibacy, but not anymore. I feel a bit foolish, and disappointed, but not angry. I now realize, trying to be celibate in a society which, in my experience, generally disrespects abstinence, is very challenging. Instead of getting angry at myself, now, I just reflect on all the trouble sex has given me, endless amounts of trouble; and I ask, do I want that? Is the pleasure worth all the trouble?