perkele wrote:I knew that irresistible itchy feeling from smoking weed, too, and also, from my experience, that it wouldn't go away unless I consciously resist that urge for a good while. So I told him he should just try and resist the urge to cough. But, alas, he couldn't.
I've never smoked weed etc., but the whole side of the family on my father's side seems to be prone to coughing, and I as well. However, I've learned to resist the urge to cough, when the cough seems to be of allergic or similar origin, when there's just that annoying tickling in the throat (as opposed to when one actually has things to cough up). But my father is not like that. And the constant coughing makes it worse, actually causing an inflammation of the upper respiratory airways from all the strain.
But I found that it depends a lot on my general state of well-being and contentment with my situation in life. When I am absorbed in some enjoyable work then almost nothing can distract me that easily.
Another factor is whether or not I can put any blame on the causer of annoyance. If the noise is made by a person or living creature with some understanding and I find they should be able to control it and be quiet then I cannot focus on something else. I want to make them shut up. I find this difficult to let go, even if I see no way to get through to them.
If, on the other hand, my judgment is that I cannot blame them then it is easier for me to ignore the annoyance. But it can be really difficult to change that judgment in my mind.
I agree. I also think a lot depends on who the person who is coughing is. If it's just a stranger at the library or an acquaintance, then it's relatively easy to ignore.
But when it is a parent -- the person whom one is supposed to respect and look up and consider superior to oneself -- then it gets really tough.
And equanimity toward one's parents really doesn't seem like the right attitude.