I'm so depressed

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Re: I'm so depressed

Post by Cittasanto » Sun Mar 11, 2012 8:43 pm

greggorious wrote:I try doing 15 minutes of breath concentration (Samatha I think?) in the morning and observation (Vipassana?) in the evening. Maybe I should just do breath concentration for now?
Hi Greg,
Have you tried metta, recollection of your own good qualities, developing the perception of impersonality i.e. 'this is not mine, not myself, not what I am.' or body scanning?

what are you observing? if it is the breath you are doing anapanasati twice a day.

it is common in groups I have met to do anapana then metta to end, or alternate one seassion anapana the next metta.

do note that this group is not a substitute for a qualified medical therapist who is trained and can develop a personal conection with you and tailor sessions and advise to better enable you to manage depression, you may be advised other activities such as excercise diet change or more suitable medication to begin with, and please seak one out, speak to your GP or mental health professional for a referal to an appropriate trained medically qualified mindfulness coach.
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He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.
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Re: I'm so depressed

Post by Bakmoon » Sun Mar 11, 2012 11:43 pm

greggorious wrote:I've fallen back into a heavy depression again. I know there are some Buddhists who like to think of the hell realms as literal places, but to me it's the worst state of mind you can think of. I'm in the hell realms, and no matter how hard I try I can't get out. Doctors don't help, anti depressants don't help, the dharma hasn't helped.
I'm so sorry that you are going through hard times. You just have got to keep going. How many doctors have you seen about your depression and how long have you been on your medication? Never give up hope.
The non-doing of any evil,
The performance of what's skillful,
The cleansing of one's own mind:
This is the Buddhas' teaching.

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Re: I'm so depressed

Post by ground » Mon Mar 12, 2012 2:20 am

greggorious wrote:I try doing 15 minutes of breath concentration (Samatha I think?) in the morning and observation (Vipassana?) in the evening. Maybe I should just do breath concentration for now?
Stay with one method only. If while doing what you call "breath concentration" you get obsessed with breath or counting or thinking "breath breath breath" then it is not an appropriate object. If you do not get relaxed then it is not an appropriate method. The goal is to drop burden not to take up additional burden.

Kind regards

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Re: I'm so depressed

Post by Bj_whyto » Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:09 pm

Hey, I think that it is incredibly hard to deal with depression using conventional methods, I have to point out that I’m not a specialist. On the other hand that may be a good think, none specialist have helped you yet.

There was this guy, who was a priest and a psychotherapist, I don’t remember the name and don’t want to make a research, that’s not the point. Well, he said that he has an inner conflict, because as a psychotherapist he is supposed to help people and as a spiritual teacher he believes that one should touch the rock bottom in order to really awake. I mean, many people have tried to help you, and you are also trying but it is very hard. I suggest you let yourself not to try so damm hard, you have nothing to lose since is going on for 15 years. Let go of everything for just a few seconds, if you feel free for a fragment of a second that is good already. Surrendering brings not happiness in particular, but freedom, happiness is next in line if you keep surrendering over and over.

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Re: I'm so depressed

Post by greggorious » Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:50 pm

I'm in a combination of the hungry ghost and hell realms. Uttersly depressed and addicted to alcohol.
"The original heart/mind shines like pure, clear water with the sweetest taste. But if the heart is pure, is our practice over? No, we must not cling even to this purity. We must go beyond all duality, all concepts, all bad, all good, all pure, all impure. We must go beyond self and nonself, beyond birth and death. When we see with the eye of wisdom, we know that the true Buddha is timeless, unborn, unrelated to any body, any history, any image. Buddha is the ground of all being, the realization of the truth of the unmoving mind.” Ajahn Chah

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Re: I'm so depressed

Post by rowboat » Tue Mar 13, 2012 12:17 am

greggorious wrote:I'm in a combination of the hungry ghost and hell realms. Uttersly depressed and addicted to alcohol.
I am sorry to learn that you are suffering in this way. I wonder if you are aware of the work of Dr Gabor Mate. He is the author of the excellent book In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters With Addiction and the resident physician at Insite-Onsite, a harm-reduction facility which treats severe cases of addiction among Canada's most destitute citizens who are suffering in Vancouver's notorious poverty-ravaged Downtown Eastside neighbourhood. Dr Mate is also a Buddhist. In the video below he gives a talk on the relationship between addiction and brain development:

Rain soddens what is covered up,
It does not sodden what is open.
Therefore uncover what is covered
That the rain will not sodden it.
Ud 5.5

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Re: I'm so depressed

Post by Yana » Tue Mar 13, 2012 4:37 am

greggorious wrote:I'm in a combination of the hungry ghost and hell realms. Uttersly depressed and addicted to alcohol.
hi greggorius..hey..i'm really sorry your depressed :( I know nobody wants to hear other people tell them to go see a doctor or get on medication when they've hit rock bottom..this is a very deep,intimate,and personal problem so when people casually advice it to you it makes you feel like they can't be bothered..and no one understands you.. but my friend..i truly say this from the bottom of my heart ..The only reason we are asking you to do this is because we are not qualified to give out advices based on the fact that we don't know if there's any underlying medical condition that is seriously affecting your mental health..we only want what's best for you because we care about you..but other than That we are here for you and will support you in any way we can on your road to recovery.

I enourage you to share your problems and not isolate yourself as this tends to make people feel even more depressed.

So my first advice to you would be Seek Professional Help.

Now my Personal Advice:

The truth is Life will never be All happy..doesn't mean it has to be depressing either.Remember we have to stick with the middle path.

Your main concern now is getting out of this depressing mindset.

first of all "Nothing" happens just by itself.You are depressed because "something" caused it.

Maybe your not in a position to know what it is or investigate deeper because you are at the moment battling with depression..but you need to understand that the only reason it's there is because it arose out of something else.This "something else" probably has a lot to do with your thoughts..you may have been focusing on this depression..it is good to focus on depression but not when you identify with it...when you identify with it it magnifies and intesifies..it becomes exagerated..it plays out and churns all sorts of unwholesome thoughts,memories,fears, that leave you feeling down, depressed and confused.This depressing feeling that you are left with is probably what you are focusing on.

I know this is hard when you are in this situation.Sometimes when i'm depressed i don't even want to know why i just want to dwell on it. But the easiest way to help you at this point is to distract yourself from this depression.Distraction,as superficial as it might seem, will serve to shift your focus from this depression to something else given it is not unwholesome.Drinking alcohol is a distraction.But an unwholesome one.

I know when you get better and You will! you won't need any distractions..you wont need alcohol or anything else..you will put this depression under a magnifying glass and scrutinize every inch of it.till it has no hold on you.Because you see it as it really is.

So try to substitute alcohol with something skillfull like sports or volunteering.When you volunteer to help others and see people who are suffering terribly or in worser hell realms than you are...your energy and focus will be diverted to help them..you are also creating good kamma which will benefit you.

I know this example is a bit extreme but bear with me.

You know what depressed people who commit suicide have in common with Buddhists?.. We're both trying to be Free From Suffering.

The thing is you don't have to die to do that..you don't have to be addicted to alcohol or any other substances to do that..what your actually doing is substituing one suffering for another.

The Buddha taught us..The Eight Noble Path..The path to Free Us From Suffering..This is for us..Right Here and Now..some people go their whole lives never realizing this..they think money,food,alcohol,drugs,beauty,sex,suicide etc, can fix their depression.It can't even fix their general dissatisfaction with life much less severe depression.They run away into these momentary pleasures..each time they've exhausted their resources wanting more..truly living as hungry ghosts would.

But the dhamma was made known to us and no matter what condition we're in we can use it to our advantage.We have the means to work towards our own salvation.This is why besides seeking professional help you have to keep practicing the dhamma as it is truly the way to Be Free From Suffering.

Okay..don't worry..and don't be too hard on yourself.. i hope this helps you my friend :hug:

Life is preparing for Death

daniel p
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Re: I'm so depressed

Post by daniel p » Tue Mar 13, 2012 4:47 am

Dear greggorious, sorry to hear of your situation.
Many years ago (1995) I was struck by a bout of deppression, my what a deep dark hole that was!
Cleaning up my lifestyle and practicing meditation were key tools in getting out of the hole and back to normal. It took a matter of months of slow but steady progress to return to normal. About a year in total. The main point I would make is that it was an impermanent state that changed over time. It arose, it passed away.

A few years ago I had some marriage difficulties and found meditating was almost impossible because my mind state was so agitated. The truth is meditating isn't a magic cure, just a tool. Sometimes you just have to weather the storm. But your practice may help by acting as a sea anchor, your boat gets tossed around but at least you survive until the storm passes.

I hope this helps.

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