cappuccino wrote:Well don't you realize the self is fictional, and your concerns are fictional.
I have already replied to this and do not want to drive my point home .. but you would do well to contemplate upon this story --
Yamaoka Tesshu was one of the greatest swordsmen of his time and was a layman who had almost embraced true mastery in Zen. Yamaoka Tesshu, as a young student of Zen, visited one master after another. He called upon Dokuon of Shokoku.
Desiring to show his attainment, he said: “The mind, Buddha, and sentient beings, after all, do not exist. The true nature of phenomena is emptiness. There is no realization, no delusion, no sage, and no mediocrity. There is no giving and nothing to be received.”
Dokuon, who was smoking quietly, said nothing. Suddenly he whacked Yamaoka with his bamboo pipe. This made the youth quite angry.
“If nothing exists,” inquired Dokuon, “where did this anger come from?”
binocular wrote:It seems that you don't believe you deserve to be happy. Perhaps it could pay off to investigate how come you don't believe that you deserve to be happy. Perhaps you even believe you deserve to be miserable.
It also seems impossible to love others, but not love oneself, or to even hate oneself. Someone who doesn't love themselves cannot love others either.
Admiring others or appreciating others isn't the same as wishing them well. Admiring others can be confused for wishing them well.
Not impossible at all. I am complicated. I have very high self esteem (it shows in my posts does it not) .. but I have a fixed, strong belief that nothing good can happen to me .. sort of like I am a cursed person. Belief in nocebo is as real as belief in placebo.
Don't happy people commit suicide? Human mind is far more complex than one can imagine. Why can one not shun oneself but love others? Is it so difficult to believe?
befriend wrote:Do you enjoy your own company? Where there is joy there is love. If you can have fun by yourself by being observant and using your intellect for fun you can be joyful, i find this gives me self kindness.
I do enjoy my own company very much. But that is because not being an academic, I do not find people I will like to mix with and over years have come to accept solitude.