Afraid of completely letting go

[Ytrog]

I still eat in the afternoon. My point was that I can control my eating when I want to.

Ah, thanks for clearing that up. I don't eat after noon on Uposatha days. In fact: I'm hungry as I'm writing this, because of that.

The more I think about it, the more I think I should wait. I'd like to at least 1) make more progress with my meditation, 2) have a greater understanding of the dhamma and Pali, and 3) overcome the majority of my fears, and gain a greater understanding of my frustrations.

I don't believe point 1 and 2 are really important. In the days of the Buddha people would sometimes ordain just after hearing the Dhamma for the first time. Where better to learn it all than in a monastery?

[J_W]

Mettafuture,

A few years ago I also was inclining towards ordination, but partly due to fears that I wasn't ready did not do so. Now I am working to clear a debt so I can finally take the plunge. I would say that the opportunity to ordain is very rare, if you have the inclination and meet the requirements you should consider trying it out. Many traditions would want you to spend time as an anagarika anyway; the Western Ajahn Chah monasteries want you to spend two years - one as an anagarika and one as a samanera - before ordination. You won't clear up all of your fears completely until attaining arahantship, so why not stay at a monastery for a few months and see how that affects your practise? It is uncertain when such an opportunity might arise again.

Mettaya,

Jeff

[Hanzze]

_/\_

[Dan74]

Mettafuture,

A few years ago I also was inclining towards ordination, but partly due to fears that I wasn't ready did not do so. Now I am working to clear a debt so I can finally take the plunge. I would say that the opportunity to ordain is very rare, if you have the inclination and meet the requirements you should consider trying it out. Many traditions would want you to spend time as an anagarika anyway; the Western Ajahn Chah monasteries want you to spend two years - one as an anagarika and one as a samanera - before ordination. You won't clear up all of your fears completely until attaining arahantship, so why not stay at a monastery for a few months and see how that affects your practise? It is uncertain when such an opportunity might arise again.

Mettaya,

Jeff

Hear, hear!

It is easy (for most of us) to take a wrong turn and then another and to end up far from the thought of even practicing seriously, let alone ordaining. What a missed opportunity this would be!

On the other hand, one has to be ready and it has to be "right". It's not right for a lot of people who can still practice effectively (like some on this forum).

Whatever you do, mettafuture, consider carefully!

[Hanzze]

_/\_

[Goedert]

Hello Dhamma Friends,

For years now I've been thinking about going forth and ordaining. I've already renounced most of my possessions; my lifestyle is very simple and clutter free. And I don't see myself having a problem giving up everything else, like my computer, my iPod, or my hair. I don't have a girlfriend, kids, or a big social life. I don't fit in most social circles because I don't like partaking in idle chatter or reckless behavior. I was this way even before I started calling myself a "Buddhist."

But the one thing that stops me from completely letting go is fear...

• I fear that I may miss my parents.
• I fear that I may lose the handful of friends that I have.
• I fear that I may miss out on career opportunities (even though they'll likely only lead to more dukkha and frustration)
• And I especially fear the future.

As a monastic, there probably wouldn't be too many surprises left. And without surprises or distractions, life would become some what predictable, and my own death would become too easy for me to see. It would be like looking down an empty street, and seeing the end -- right there.

A side of me really wishes I could get over this hindrance because I know being free of it would lead to a greater happiness, and I could be more productive, and help spread the Dhamma and Metta to others. But I don't know...

What are your thoughts?

This is a normla feeling my friend. Do not be too hard on your self.

The love for truth and eternal peace need to overcome the fears and attachments. Then you will know the right time to going forth in the HOMELESS life, like a wise wanderer.

"Let go of the past, let go of the future,
let go of the present, and cross over to the farther shore of existence.
With mind wholly liberated,
you shall come no more to birth and death."
Dhammapada 24.348