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Re: To Marry or Ordain -Which resources should I consult fir

Posted: Mon Apr 29, 2013 7:28 am
by Cittasanto
Consult your heart!

Re: To Marry or Ordain -Which resources should I consult fir

Posted: Mon Apr 29, 2013 9:34 am
by Zom
Indeed, no books and no advice can help in this situation.

The main idea is to understand if you are really fit to be a monk. The good thing to test it is to observe your own mind with its ambitions and defilements for a long period of time (let's say - several years). If you are a layman, but without any pressing on youself, you already live like a monk (or at least, quite close to such life style), then there will be no problem becoming a monk. But if you realize that ordaining will make a huge shift in your life, then this is not good and there is a big chance that later you will regret much that you have lost your job and your girl. This is in general. Ofc., there can be exceptions, etc...

Re: To Marry or Ordain -Which resources should I consult fir

Posted: Tue Apr 30, 2013 1:09 am
by SarathW
Hi Brandwach
Define your goals. Why do you want to become a monk? Can you achieve this goal without becoming a monk?
Buddha was married and enjoyed all the luxuries in the life before he became a monk!
One he took the decision to become a monk he never looked back until he achieved his goal.
Nirvana. :)

Re: To Marry or Ordain -Which resources should I consult fir

Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 3:11 am
by SarathW
David N. Snyder wrote:For anyone considering ordaining, I always recommend that they read The Broken Buddha, by Ven. Dhammika. It is not to discourage anyone but just so that one does not go in with high expectations, thinking things such as that all monks have perfect sila, all monks meditate, all monks are nice, etc. Here is the link to the pdf:

http://www.theravada-dhamma.org/pdf/Dha ... Buddha.pdf
HI David
I just finish reading the first half of this article. I am glad to see someone has raised the common concerns about the imbalance attitude of monks.
However I felt this article also very imbalanced. So I agree with some of them and reject the rest.
I think we should have a discussion about the concerns raised be Ven. Dhammika.
When I was a management trainee my supervisor said to me “When you point out problems, come with solutions as well”

Re: To Marry or Ordain -Which resources should I consult fir

Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 3:20 am
by DNS
SarathW wrote: I think we should have a discussion about the concerns raised be Ven. Dhammika.
When I was a management trainee my supervisor said to me “When you point out problems, come with solutions as well”
Here is the discussion, currently at 175 posts:

http://www.dhammawheel.com/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=2698

Re: To Marry or Ordain -Which resources should I consult fir

Posted: Thu May 02, 2013 1:32 pm
by Paribbajaka
Echoing what others have said, I think this it is important you discuss this with your girlfriend. Also keep in mind that temporary ordination is a very normal thing in many Theravada traditions. Having small periods of manastic life interspersed with lay life is very typical in Laos and Thailand, and many that i"ve spoken to have found it to be a very rewarding path (this obviously gets more difficult if\when children enter the picture but is still very doable).

Re: To Marry or Ordain -Which resources should I consult fir

Posted: Sat May 04, 2013 1:23 am
by kmath
Paribbajaka wrote:Echoing what others have said, I think this it is important you discuss this with your girlfriend. Also keep in mind that temporary ordination is a very normal thing in many Theravada traditions. Having small periods of manastic life interspersed with lay life is very typical in Laos and Thailand, and many that i"ve spoken to have found it to be a very rewarding path (this obviously gets more difficult if\when children enter the picture but is still very doable).
Second this. Don't do anything drastic until you've spend some good time in a monastery, I'd say at least a month.

I knew a guy in the same position you're describing and he opted to become a monk. That was three years ago and he's still ordained. There's no real going back for him now. Even if he wanted to return to his woman, it wouldn't be the same now I'm sure. And that's assuming she would take him back, which seems unlikely at this point.

Be careful! A good lady is hard to find!

Re: To Marry or Ordain -Which resources should I consult fir

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 11:29 am
by BubbaBuddhist
At one time I seriously considered ordination. In fact I studied toward that goal. But there were, and still are, so many aspects of the world that I absolutely love--opera, art, literature, and especially sharing these loves with a good and fine woman--that I decided the life of a layman was good enough. I think it's heroic to ordain. But I think it's equally heroic to wake up every day, recognize the world's problems, but decide to love it anyway.

BB